Emperor Moth*

* See below

FOUND: teeny ants had devoured its body!

I think it might be the female, but not being a lepidopterist, I am not wise. However, at my age,  I am proud that I remembered it's name and only consulted the infoGod to confirm and discover more knowledge.
http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/species/emperor-moth

various sites say 9cm to 11cm is BIG ... but this one exceeds those!!!!!!!

See comments below... EVIDENTLY this is a Giant Peacock Moth.

La grue d'Angles

Sunny Sunday

After a week of cold, wet rainy days necessitating a woodburner alight, either all day, or in the evening, with French doors not open, trying to keep the room warmer indoors than outside, the sun has shone on my village and me.  I feel gloom lifting.

I bought a standard rose in the plant and flower market. The latter needs to grow!  However,  my standard rose seems just the right height with its many buds.

I wanted one for the centre of the quadrant potager.  I have a vision of boxwood all around each section, yet, me thinks it's not a good idea, as box roots would penetrate and rob the veggie soil. Maybe,  at some time in the future,  plastic boarding. At the moment old chestnut beams form a border which encourages fungi to grow, whilst also being a haven for 'gendarme' beetles that like hollyhocks and old timber.
INTERLUDE
I still can't understand the tax boxes on the tax return forma. The recent advice from a reputable knowledgeable person with a vegetable alias says I am supposed to enter GROSS, whereas for the past ten years following the advice of the other Tax office I have declared  net because my pension is taxed at source, not in France.   WHY is there so much confusion when there must be many retired teachers in France!
RETURN TO SUBJECT
Back to gardening. I am waiting for ice cream to thaw a little to enjoy with stewed apples and pears. I mowed one lawn with the electric mower for almost two hours...including the wild areas where cowslips had been allowed to thrive and seed.   Plenty of wild areas left 'au bordure' ... nettles for butterflies and long grasses for grasshoppers.   BUT I DO like a neat lawn even if it is mainly clover, dandelions, daisies and other rooted things.  Mowed grass is spread as a mulch between roses and lavender, and in the box edged section which used to be a herb garden ... it was the first part I dug six years ago!  The garden has come on a lot since then.  Gardening brings me pleasure ... even though it is hard work.
After the ice cream, I wonder if I shall go to mow the other lawn 500 sq metres or more because I must go on a 5km walk tomorrow-a three hour group walk. Maybe I should mow that other plot with the petrol mower and get these legs a moving.     It is tempting to sit in La Place!!!!!!
Sunny Days are for living!
POSTSCRIPT
Yes, I did mow the other grass / lawn which took me an hour and a half.  I returned with a branch of snowy balls on a branch of shrub. 
As it was 7pm, I COULD allow myself to stop and sit in the evening warmth of my courtyard with a rare gin and tonic.  No ice!

Computer Technology

My OSX 10.6.8. has messages that tell that Firefox (I use) and Google Chrome ( I don't often use) will be, or are now, 'unsupported'.    HELP!
Does this mean that only Safari (which I rarely use) will be 'supported' or that too will be 'unsupported'.
Is this Apple's way of ensuring we buy, buy, buy?
 Wondering whether to continue the Apple route ..... 

I am worried about how I keep important poetry and written documents on my current laptop and photos, the latter of which are in three libraries of iphoto (created by The Apple store) and so I have such a big job to delete duplicates of sometimes 5 copies! 

Now, I know that my laptop MUST be replaced; slight hinge problem, has had a new battery, it is 8 + years old, and although new technology might be welcomed I was hoping to wait until next year before such an expenditure. 
The kitchen demanded last year's and this year's income and savings.
A newer vehicle, becoming a necessity, presents a dilemma whilst being resident in France when I don't ever get much time in UK to address this problem. I would prefer a RH drive vehicle.
Then there are some other personal issues I need to resolve with regard to finance. 

All that couple with UK and global issues plus ageing and feeling isolated though not always lonely, I am wondering how long I can manage here. 
Selling up and moving back seems to be too big an issue. 
I needed to be levered out of my last property in UK but that was because it was me, me , me except for the traffic and neighour issues.
Before that I needed courage to climb the property ladder and my friend gave me that courage.

Now is perhaps not the time to sell up.
I stilhave things to do and need to banish procrastination. Maybe once there is no more major renovation... ( I do have ideas!)  I will be able to open more boxes AND sell, give away, STUFF.

Meanwhile once that kitchen is IN, I look forwards to opening boxes of collected pottery and seeing what I wish to keep or pass to it's next owner!

The Kitchen: Where was I? Where am I? 5 of 5

The magic day arrived when we started to lay tiles not eggs!

YIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What a beautiful floor it is!!!!!!
With thanks on my bended knees in homage I thank my friend for sticking with me for the past six years.
I truly never thought I would ever see the kitchen make this moment!!!
I thought I would have given up but NO, I have stayed the course despite the trauma.
Tears pour out suddenly as I write this last sentence!
Looking back, seeing the distance, seeing the then and the now as daily I walk across that floor, I am in seventh heaven.  But I do come down to earth every minute of every day whilst considering thoughts and feelings about "what am I doing here?"  "what is my purpose?" etc.
The tears have stopped. That's how fast they arrive and disappear. Six  years ago I was crying all day!
A big sigh!

Well done him!  I am grateful that we are still friends and that we have a better understanding of each other. I THINK.
Life is so short.
I am tired of trauma, stress and being alone. I am tired of renovation but still have plans and thoughts for my house.   If only this.....and only that!!!
I

END OF UPDATE - It has taken me seven hours on Sunday 8th May in between gardening and domestics to writ, edit and complete these last five postings for scheduled publishing. 
It is evidently not as warm here as in England but yesterday was gloriously sunny. Warmth in any country, wherever we live makes all the difference to well-being!
Thank you.

The Kitchen: Where was I? Where am I? 4 of 5

FLAWED / FLOORED

After his adventures in the South of France my friend was collected at a bus stop not far from Leroy Merlin and as this is an hour from home I suggested we go to look at the flooring choice dilemma!

PART ONE: The Choice
It was weird because the final choice was something I had looked at last November but discounted the idea as too busy! I am drawn to this antique style. I am not sure if this precise one was there then but it certainly was when I went with a female friend in February.   My eye was attracted but not the mind because I was trying to choose between REAL wood flooring and ceramic tiles that looked like wood.  Somehow, the cost of real wood seemed obscene for a kitchen and modern-look-like-wood ceramic tiles seemed to not tick my box!! Why have false when one could have the real thing?

Having described my thoughts/ choices, we started to look at other options.  Other tiles, Vinyl, Stratifiée etc..
When I showed him this, there was an IMMEDIATE, exclamation of "YES".
And so I came to purchase 16m2 of this lovely carrelage suitable for exterior and interior but also kitchens. 
In case the link disappears the tiles are:
Carrelage gris & blanc effet terre cuite Villa l.20 x L.20 cm by ARTENS.

To my surprise I realised that grey was indeed going to look good with an almost white kitchen!
Pattern in a plain kitchen was good.
19th century French Provincial style appealed and though a little highbrow I thought it would suit the character of my house!  VOILA!
Angst resolved.

I found this website after I had bought the tiles.
Lovely photos and a little history.
One cannot afford the real thing!

PART TWO: Opening boxes
Whilst the electrician and plumber were in the kitchen room we opened the boxes of tiles.
Not knowing the plan we decided to sort the 12 mixed boxes into piles of the same pattern. Each box contained 36 tiles. 
Ah, it appears that the each box contains a different number of each of the NINE tiles that make the pattern.
After opening all boxes, each pile of one pattern was not the same height... hence oh oh oh!
Each pile counted between 41 tiles in one of the nine patterns and 51 of another.
See in the photo the nine piles of tiles all at different heights!

At the very end of the tiling exercise  of laying the kitchen floor, there were no more tiles of the pattern which we had the least of.

At one time I was convinced we would need to order another box...but with careful planning at the cutting stage, the last of the least fitted a corner where I shall see it every day! Just to remind me!

We also tiled to the back linear wall under the cabinets because I absolutely hate unseen things being skimped on.  I like to know it is clean and tidy behind the plinths.  Also if ever the cabinets have to be removed it will still show a level floor!

Next, we laid the nine in a square according to the model on Leroymerlin website.
Then we laid three more sets making a 6 x6 tiled square with the 3 x 3 square four times repeated. 
Did we like that?

We re-arranged with always the lightest coloured one in the centre, whereupon we discovered that each tile has its own orientation!!!!!! GOSH!
Then we could see other patterns. For example one could see a 4 x 4 pattern within this!
Then one could see diagonal patterns. Oh help!!!!!! Too busy!
That took at least two hours!

PART THREE: Skirting board cut.
At some point in the kitchen renovation process, my friend sawed out with an adapted tool, a small gap off the base of the skirting board.  I held the vacuum cleaner to collect the dust, scoured out the muck, 3 buttons. screws and a 1ct coin!

 

We had to do this  or else the tiles would not have slid under the walls.

On another day he made a cover board to access the water pipes if ever necessary. A clever thinking man! I have loved him and not just for his practical skills! I probably still do love the man I met! People change. He has changed and so have I! We just didn't manage to maintain the togetherness.

PART FOUR: Laying floor tiles
After the artisans departed we started to think about where to start.

First of all find mid centre. We again checked the floor level. We found each straight line between the passage ways.  Four door ways.. so how to centralise the pattern... and as we progressed the nine pattern changed! Finally, the plan was decided so we lay the pattern without glueing to see an effect!

Into the grand salon...

 the external doorway

into le petit salon called Oval Room

 I started to pile the tiles in sets in the correct orientation to make it easier to pass to the tiler on the other side of the straight edge and to ensure the tiles stayed correct. Easier said than done!  It was good team work!  Though I am not strong enough to use the electric tool that mixes the adhesive - the one like a food mixer!

PART SIX: A halt in the proceedings!

We discovered the problem with the adhesive! HALT whilst we took a day out to change the sacks of glue!!!!!
When I phoned Leroy Merlin they asked for the bar code and without question said I should return it.
Various things then occurred to me and the detective in me emerged.
The system for dating building products of a powdery nature has changed. There used to be a date of fabrication which means it then has a certain shelf life. Now... the bags contain the date by which to use making it much easier to work out the age of the product whilst it is in the shop! Here is the jointing powder barcode with DLU - date de l''utilsation.

Here, the adhesive we bought with date of fabrication.
It should be OK but when we opened it,  the powder was lumpy, not the correct powdery texture suggesting that it has been stored badly either in the store or in transit.   BIT RISKY TO USE!

When we got to the shop we noticed that the new packets have the DLU ...
h'mmmmm only one month later in the shop than when I bought mine!

 Here are the old bags on promotion!  We smell a rat!

I asked for a reimbursement for the inconvenience of travel and a waste of a day's work when the problem with the adhesive was clearly not my fault.  I asked after I had seen that the same bags that we'd bought only four weeks prior were being sold 'promotion'.  They were within the correct date... but clearly I think LRM knew the problem!  I suggested to LRM that I thought the regs had changed and was this true. They confirmed.  I also suggested that in this case the product has been stored badly or damaged in transit. They said that it was possble!  When they finally understood  WHY we had bought the sacks back for exchange and not re-inbursement,  they seemed to 'be aware" saying that they would remove all the sacks from promotion.   I think they knew they had been sussed although I never returned to see if they kept them off sale!
I was offered 6e to cover the cost of a two hour return journey and petrol costs for 100km    When I said that was an insult expecially as I have spent a lot of money with them over the last six years and more I was then offered 15e which I had to accept ... of course all three or four store staff wished me a good day and off they sped asap!!!!!!!

It was ome satisfaction but 'fait attention' one has to be cautious with large companies and stand one's ground!
I am glad my friend was with me otherwise I don't think I would have received any refund.
He verified as an artisan that the goods were not good and well done him as he kept patiently quiet, did not get upset and left it all to me!

The Kitchen: Where was I? Where am I? 3 of 5

This is a partial repeat of yesterday's posting but I wanted to remind myself of the snippets in the story!

The electrician took 4 full days to re-wire the house to a new tableau electrique situated in the kitchen.  It needed updating and needed to supply 32A.  His workmanship was excellent, well thought, well tempered, well organised, well paced. A happy man!

The plumber who arrived on Friday did not come on the Wednesday because i think I understood  that the plumber who was to come didn't or couldn't or maybe was taken 'off the job' because I threw my wobbly on Day 1!!!!

The Friday plumber was in great haste!  I think there had been some disagreement because the delay incurred meant that they both needed to work in the same corner at the same time. IMPOSSIBLE.
Also they each needed their car in my courtyard!
They were very chatty with the plumber talking nine to the dozen about La Chasse etc...
BUT neither could really do their individual tasks.
After I think some heated words and various telephone calls the electrician departed to do another job. I didn't understand waht was happening but he returned at 4pm.  The plumber who had worked through his lunch hour, eating on the hoof (he said it was exceptionelle!)  completed the re-connection of the central heating pipes, reinstalled the radiator and did the first fix for the sink.
It was only later that their plan for the day unfolded to my understanding!

The electrician had to return or else we might not have had electricity for the weekend!

The Friday plumber arrived with lively, bouncy energy, chatty, but by the end of his labour he was tired, quiet and seemed depressed.  Fortunately, I chatted to him about his work, was positive and managed to bring a smile to his face. I praised him for his work and also was laughing at myself; my Monday reaction to holes in walls generating an emotional wobble which unfortunately caused the two artisans to need the same corner at the same time.  He then seemed to relax!  It's a Friday night.  One must go home on a good note!

He remarked that my friend and I made a good team!
He with his knowledge, expertise and advice about plumbing / electricity / my house...because he knew, remembered, showed the plumber and electrician that some work that they planned did not need to be done... it was already done .... (showed the central heating steam escape valves positioned in the living room, which I had forgotten about, and where the central heating plumbing pipes were...
and she / me with her / my French language skills!!!!!!!
My friend and I looked at each other. I laughed as he looked blankly. Well, it was in French and my French understanding is so much improved over the last six years!

I think that it was and is such a shame that he and I can be good friends when not in disagreement or power struggles, and that, what a waste it has been, that we have thrown the relationship away because of emotional, mental, physical factors from the each of us; ill health, early retirement, family and financial issues forcing us to be on the breadline for some time.
That's just too many issues to deal with in any partnership.

It was doomed to fail.
I was fearful, cautious, needing a secure, safe home and partner surrounded by my belongings, needing purpose in life and people ( not stones and sheep and isolation from culture), who had reverted to child behaviour as a result of far too many unhealed, un-understood traumas, being over needy and emotionally coping with grief and bereavements that I wasn't then aware of....coping with major post operative stuff that dealt a blow of inner womanly grief for over three years... on top of the loss of a career and the issues with my son, daughter, parents...

and he fearful, throwing caution to the wind, nomadic, as I didn't understand then that he had done it before and would do it again; that is, to ditch all belongings including a safe and secure home for travelling, for helping others, for volunteering because that is the true kindness and generosity of my friend who I had fallen in love with! He too, in the course of our relationship had lost employment , having to return to self employment, divorce and difficulties with family as well as personal self. 

Isn't it a shame that we couldn't sort out the BETWEEN STUFF then ?   

HOWEVER, despite the past, I was so happy to greet his arrival on the afternoon of the day when the electrician started, the afternoon after I'd freaked out for reasons too complex to explain here.


The next day my friend and I helped the electrician save time and labour simplifying his life by prepping the attic space and flooring.   I hadn't thought about this before and really I had no idea what was about to happen with this major operation of re-wiring!

It was such a joy to see the electrician's face light up (excuse the pun) as he witnessed how we had helped him.
It was such a joy for me that he came on Wednesday and told me he had a new method ... it would be to do as we had suggested and that I had agreed with the estimator who that week was unavailable. Yes he would pass the wires across the attic floor and down!
Win-Win!

The electrician returned on the Monday of the following week. We had intermittent electricity for most of the day.  He made good all the plasterboard work. Every night apart from the Friday as he ran out of time he made sure the workspace was spotlessly clean.  At the end of his work, he had made good all the plasterboard to an excellent level.
At 17h, the man had changed as he always did every morning and lunchtime, from day clothes to work clothes. He went home clean and sprightly with a spring in his step. The client was happy and relieved that the major work has been achieved.  A big worry lifted!

The Kitchen: Where was I? Where am I? 2 of 5

The wall and floor had been marked out ever since November. Every now and then I would measure the height, width and depth of each cabinet trying to decide where the sink, hob, oven, microwave should go.
Now,  I know there isn't much choice with a 3665mm linear wall,  but I wanted a U shape and I did not wish to lose even 10cm of wall space.
Occasionally the tape got moved.
During the winter I did a 3D model with tables, chairs, metal rods, wooden planks, boxes and anything to  bring the measurement to the correct level so that I could 'pretend' to use a sink, kettle, hob, oven.

There might be photos of this. ( a reminder to me to find some)

Later in the planning months feeding my anxiety, angst and headache, I tried to think of where the kettle should go, the blender, food mixer, chopping boards, pots and pans and baking dishes, cutlery and crockery, teas and coffees, canned foods, oil and vinegar bottles and wine, food waste bins, remembering that also the room behind my kitchen is a laundry room / with dishwasher, sink and washing machine. The system is working well.

In catering, it is important to have a circular movement as much as possible so that food preparation areas are not contaminated by the dirty dishes area.  I know this because in France I researched a "tea shop business" in this house before there was one in the village...and I quickly realised that I did not have the money, skills or artisan to do this for me when the whole house was in need of TLC and I was practically, emotionally and mentally off the wall!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that!
Anyway, enough of the negative past... onwards!

And so it came to pass that the tape was helpful to the electrician even though he had 'a plan' done by the estimator'.  (I'd made minor changes!!!!)  So I gave him a copy of the final IKEA print out plan as well as my own 2D folding images... 

Yes I might try and post a photo of these later...

Before the electrician started work and he WAS KEEN, I insisted we talk about the plan, discuss where the switches etc were to be, showed him the attic. He and I agreed that we each were 'en accord' with the necessary work! I really didn't want mistakes because I HAD NOT PAID ATTENTION.  This has happened before.  My former partner, a retired general builder, suggested on more than one occasion when the former electrician was here that I should not keep an eye on the artisans to monitor them!!!  As a manager and teacher I always used to monitor helpers in and out of my classroom or I would discover the work done with the children or the display was not what I wished or that it exceeded my expectations.... true, I gave everyone licence to contribute.  I was not rigid though I was a disciplinarian.  I am sorry to all those who thought so. On the other hand we had rising SAT results year on year at end of KS1 .. my class ... so much so that....ggggrrrrr....that is another story best left alone for the moment!
In the photo, the gap in the old and new layers of plaster-boarding is so that the plumber can do his work when he arrives!

The holes in the walls are where the switches and wiring has to go! These were made by the electrician on his first day.

After about an hour of the electrician working and me wondering WHY there were TWO circular HOLES up high on the wall I remembered I must take photos... so this was taken from the distance of the living room so as not to alarm him as he was in and out to his car gathering tools, wires etc as were required.  I watched with fascination as he rodded and pulled wires up behind the two layers of plasterboard old and new. The new wall. The newly fixed, plastered, sanded, filled, sanded, filled I don't know how many times with at least three coats of paint and which my friend was cross because I had not finished painting the final coast as I said I would do. 
My reasoning apart from the fact it was winter,  was that I did not wish to use more of the F&B in case the walls were ruined.  THAT was November last year.

OH no... now they are being ruined.  My heart leaps into my brain!  Imagine my friend's wrath when he sees it all later that day, when he arrives from the South of France, when he is specifically returning to get my kitchen designed and installed!
My fears rose. I wobbled. My internal alarm increased.
I asked the electrician what these holes were for and he explained how there would be two above each socket etc.
WHAT???
I explained how the wires were supposed to go across the attic floor as agreed with the estimator.  We even had discussed that this morning.  Yes he said but he has to do it this way, his way!!!!!
Where was the estimator?
Unavailable
On holiday training to be a pompier!!!!!
aaargh!
Helpless. Helpless.

Eventually, he spoke to a boss and the two  kept saying that I had no choice... to which I disagreed.
I spoke at length on the phone to the boss.

Meanwhile the stress that brings out the tears and the anxiety took hold.  I apologised and explained that it is one of the reasons why I lost my career position...and that this reaction to stress is very inconvenient to me!!!  It is my disability. I wish I could control it. It is my fuse! It is my valve!
I like to avoid stress!!!!

We had been discussing for about 30 minutes and it is just before midday.  
He asks if he should stop work.  I ask his advice. I also say if he thinks it is best to.
"Yes I think so.  Thank you.  I will discuss with my friend and when you return tomorrow we can discuss with him."
He has another job that he could go to.
It was as if we had each negotiated so as not to lose face and also it was important to me that we ended the morning without anger or resentment. I needed an electrician after all this time!!!!!!
We agree that I would telephone in the morning.

The next day I phoned at 8h to say that it was OK for the electrician to carry on with his method.

My friend was not angry. He had expected some ruination but agreed not 20 holes.  We went to the attic and accessed the space where his wiring could go.  My friend cut out the fragile flooring below the hot and cold water pipes which I revealed. Normally they are shrouded in several layers of polystyrene board and silver insulation against any frost.
I cleared all the rubble that lay beneath. This was rubble from the years as well as from the roof replacement. The floor is unstable and so it is important that people tread where we have put reinforcement lengths of wood or melamine. The old ping pong table had been put there as well about two years ago!

Below the boarding is fibreglass above tommettes above the ceiling below.  It was dusty and we did wear masks and hats!  We realised that the old hole where the extraction unit used to be was once a hatch, probably accessed by ladder to the attic where people must have once lived.

I didn't mind these holes as they are below the work surface!

Here you can see the offending holes near the ceiling and there were going to be many more!!!!!!

As he finished he replaced the circular cut outs  using lissage / filler. The electrician was exceptional in my opinion.  Good people skills.

This was the old casing...

Here the new is being installed - unfortunately I forgot to take the photo of the cascade of wiring spilling from the ceiling before each set of three were connect to the appropriate trip switch.

All done.  Trauma ended.... for the now!!!

In between comes the plumber with amazingly sorted containers!

replacing the central heating system pipes that I cut out because the flawed the architrave over the door and window so it wasn't aesthetic!   A costly choice!

He did the plumbing for the sink and again excellent workmanship. Pleasant manners. Men who worked happily in their jobs. A joy!  I highly recommend this team!
Continued in next post.