Monday 30 September 2013

A Life without Water - not quite

Well... there is water but it is not in the well.
Water comes from the mains into the meter. The counter display is flooded so that the numbers are not turning, although I witnessed wheels going round when I turned the stop cock to show a friend the problem! The stop cock was turned off before I went to UK, which is when I noticed that the purger or pipe was leaking!  It didn't seem to leak when I turned off the stopcock, so I left it all to fate whilst I flew on my journey to catch a flight for my holiday. On my return I established that the leak is definitely coming from the joint between the counter and the purger, both before / after the stopcock. That was Saturday and now on Monday I've discovered that my plumber has been on a training course all day.. hence he picked up my MANY messages just after 16h.  By which time I'd phoned a different plumber who returned my call to tell me that as the water will have to be turned off in the street I must contact the Syndicat d'Eau.  Now it is after 17h ... and yes someone would come this evening.  NOPE... this is France.
So .... I will turn ON the water and waste a lot into the sand pit below the pipes in order to fill my water boiler to heat enough for a bath in the morning. Cooking with little water from the jugs and containers filled... and hand washing is a PAIN. I've done all this before when sub-zero temperatures prevented the flow from the tap... but I JUST DON"T NEED THIS.  I've had to stay in all day today instead of collecting logs and doing other outdoor jobs...but the good news is that admin was achieved. The rain prevents mowing the lawns! I'm getting ready for the hospital trip!!!!!! and after that having a bath or a shower will be another challenge. Footy in a plastic bag! Ah..... life is such fun!!!!!!!
UPDATE: The French Syndicat d'Eau is absolutely THE BEST! The man arrived on the Tuesday morning and had it all tickety boo within minutes. The GOOD NEWS IS THAT I DON'T HAVE TO PAY because the leak was on the water board's side of the dubris!!!!!!  
Wednesday:  I asked him to come and explain how to turn on / off the tap as the system is different... there are now two purgeurs and they are on the other side of the counter! He was EXCELLENT,  very patient.  Against this experience I CAN RECOMMEND FRANCE AS A PLACE TO LIVE ... I SPOKE FRENCH ALL THE TIME, BADLY BIEN SUR mais avec resultats!

Sunday 8 September 2013

The chicken sheds

A friend and his son came to lay concrete in the shabby chicken hut area.

Last week I removed the dangerous pile of lengths of wood that filled this area, saved for kindling wood. The wood is too thick for the hand-axe chopping method. I acquired a good one in UK for £2.  I own a small wood saw but my arms are too weak.  So, a Scorpion electric saw has arrived and I just need a sunny day to start creating kindling wood to be bagged up if I can find enough plastic bags. In the deepest depths of winter I need kindling wood on a daily basis!

This week I managed to empty the very dry chicken shit (pardon me!!! manure) out of the hen shed. This job has waited three years.  I bagged it up, as the wheelbarrow wheel was caput, then spread it onto the potager.  Maybe there is too much!!!! I wonder what will grow next year?

After that I tackled the soil in the exterior chicken run.  About 20cm below the soil surface there was rubble, not concrete.  I sliced the compacted soil loose with the garden fork and spade, then proceeded to sieve some. It was hard work though good for the waist line!  That idea was abandoned. Gradually, with the rake and bare hands, I developed a technique for picking out the chicken bones, mussel shells, oyster shells and rubble from the good soil.  The oyster shells and stones were bagged to be used as rubble for the concrete. The bones, plum stones, mussel shells and roots filled a compost bag, destination dechetterie.  I also weedled out broken glass, metal nails and blue poly garden string. Then I levelled what was left with the rake as that area will be laid with textile fabric and small stones.

The new concreted areas are to store GOOD surplus to requirements roof tiles once they are removed from one of my roofs as well as to store kindling wood or lengths of good useful for diy wood. 

As a treat I decided to cook the men a nice meal. It's nice to have people to cook for but also I was keeping an eye on proceedings as I always do and helping where I could, getting the electricity cables, using my 50m hosepipe ... good job I have these things!!!!

I'd bought 30 euros of vegetables and fruit from Ile de Re market on Monday as it all looked so fersh and delicious. I made a Cauliflower Cheese in pastry. I was first introduced to that idea by a school cook.  I thought it strange but it's an excellent idea. It's delicious cold the following day.

For dessert I made Mirabelle Shortcake.
Measure 150 g butter, 75 g sugar, and 225 g plain flour into a bowl Crumble together with fingers. Press the mixture into a 20cm diameter glass flan dish. Whisk an egg with a fork and pour over the shortcake.  Bake in oven 190°C for about 5 minutes. Remove.  Arrange pre-stoned mirabelle plums on the top leaving no gaps. Scatter with sugar, and a small smidgeon of dried lavender flowers. Bake  for about 30 minutes. You can serve it warm or cold, with a dollop of crème fraîche, yoghurt or cream. As a variation use fresh stoned apricot fruits.

No photos of the food as it was so hectic. It was more important that the men ate as they had to dash to other work!  Here are before / after photos:
 The chicken run looks slightly neater ... but still the textile to lay,  roof to fiddle with, guttering to be redefined when better plastic guttering is released from the house roof.

Saturday 7 September 2013

The Times they are a changing

I haven't posted for a while as I've been reeling under realisations.  I haven't run out of words, thoughts, feelings, but maybe I have been overwhelmed.  I think I got worn out and a return of M.E. hit me at the weekend!

Although there is the feeling that I've wasted several years, being dragged down (not only by myself but also my previous soulmate friend) .... I AM beginning to look positively at that negativity and understand that it was a period of TIME, when many positive events happened as well.
I AM beginning to look at the patterns of behaviour based on his childhood and my childhood that brought us to love and then dislike each other and yet he still wanted to be my friend and I his. Why was that? Probably to meet own needs.
Maybe I DID have to be carried after I lost my job but I KNOW THAT I acted as a child, NEEDING parental love and support!  So he became my father and mother figure. He was as he said my Physical Fitness Trainer.  Then (I know I am on repeat!) marital problems magnified after the physical repair of a psychologically damaging op which occurred within a few years of JOB CRASH. We moved house and country within a few weeks of that op and then I was told, not in quite these words, but that he didn't want me!!!!  In the last two weeks I've found my writings that establish the truth of that!
It's a pity we could not work through his jealousies about my son, his fears, my fears, our needs. 
BUT it was also a period of time when I carried him. Before we moved to France I employed him full time to work on my house that he also had some investment in by contributing to the mortgage to pay his part for living in my house! When we came to France he became ill ... he said it was because of me but I also believe it was because of the anxiety of renovation work and probably the future without much income as well his physical ageing.
We carried each other.
Now he has found someone else to carry for a while. Maybe she has found someone to carry HER.

HOWEVER, I DEFINITELY KNOW that I don't want anyone to carry me, nor do I need anyone else to carry.  BUT to support and be supported would be a different issue. Of course it will be lovely to have help from a friend in any capacity but NOT TO CONTROL or undermine my dignity, integrity and independence.  I don't want to be in a co-dependent relationship ever again.  I don't ever want to be made to feel afraid of someone's anger ever again.
I wish to keep my independence and that means learning to be grown up which I have been learning in the last three years. I now understand and accept that my friend was kind to make me go, kind to say we are not a couple anymore...even though at the time I was shocked, stunned, numbed, in total disbelief that he could make that choice and not try harder to save our souls!!!!!
I also realise that maybe I never indiated sufficiently how much I appreciated all that he did for me!

Of course I would like to be with a significant someone...but firstly if I can, (now that I am learning more about looking after my own needs),  I would like to meet lots of people, male and female, and begin to appreciate Life and Living.... It is time not for selfishness, nor self-centredness but certainly it is Time for looking after my inner selves... and I do mean plural.  I am more than one part. 

Well... I lasted at least 7 years after it all started to slide downhill with my friend,  having my heart tugged and shunned and nothing will take away the fact that I think I still love him and always will.  So that is that!  I know I can love again and hope that one day someone will be attracted enough to love in return.

I shifted sands this week as Cancerians do... going to see the sea has been very restorative.  I must go more often.  It's a drag, the 3 to 4 hour journey in my little Clio, but never in a hurry, I look about me as I go and learn about landscape and locations.  Of course the warm breeze, soft sweet salty sea, soft sand and golden warm sunshine in a clear blue sky, as I cycle hither and thither slowly, leisurely, or gaining momentum, marvel at little things that I see on my travels has left my skin soft like a baby!

Inside me, I am in love...in love with an island.... the golden isle of  Île de Rhé (with / without the h). It was surprisingly unchallenging camping alone. Tired after the afternoon drive I probably went to bed about 8 ish after erecting my small tent, eating oatcakes and cheese and refamiliarising myself with the beach.  With no plan other than to cycle, I relaxed.  It's fun alone because one doesn't have to keep up with anyone nor have anyone dragging one behind!!!!  I can do what I like, when I like.  Benefits.




I spent three full days revisiting places that I saw in June with a very good friend, taking different routes, visiting markets, talking to people, keeping my silence, laughing and crying as I cycled alone, stopping to eat the not ripe wild grapes and blackberries and a lunchtime treat of moules marinières and on Sunday large prawns at the oyster bar because I'd prefer to share oysters with someone!