Friday 31 January 2014

Busy Village Activity

It's a glorious day and it feels wonderful to be alive and walk up La Cueille without a pause or even to gather breath!!!! Yipppeeeee!
There was a fire-engine, an ambulance and a police car at La rue d'Église.
I worried that the incident might be for an elderly infirm couple who live in the most photographed house in my village.
I was not UP and ABOUT early enough to see the full mist above the river.  There has been pollarding of poplars ? , near the chateau and at least two "elms / poplars"?  are being felled at the water's edge. 
Last night I did a dusky evening walk and vowed to go this morning.
Up my lane, in my courtyard, one would never know what goes on in the gardens of the high and low towns. There is always something...and the railings on the bridge have still not been repaired!

Thursday 30 January 2014

Biscuits for Amelie with Recipe

Grannyme had to think what to do for several hours with poorly child, aged not quite three, whilst the family went swimming... "Let's make biscuits" is what she said!
Ah... but there is no ginger powder... substitute 1845 chocolate drink powder, chocolate essence and cinnamon!  Yum!
Ah... but where are the people cutters? ... not accessible in my kitchen paraphernalia but resident in a box in the attic... substitute cardboard templates and cut with a knife!
Ah... but there is no runny honey ... use Golden Syrup!
Papaya pieces acted as buttons and eyes!
Now it is many years since I made these with anyone and the recipe was jolly good!
Children don't go to school on Wednesdays or Wednesday afternoons!

La recette pour les biscuits d'Amelie:
In a saucepan melt 90g butter / margarine with 275g honey or golden syrup with 115g sugar (I used less) and apx 2 teaspoons spices (all or one of cinnamon, allspice, ginger) and 10g chocolate powder.
However, I added more hot chocolate powder as well as one tsp of chocolate essence ... I guess one could add 70% chocolate bar... in place of the ginger powder.  I didn't use allspice.
In a bowl sieve 675g plain flour (I used less) and 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda but it could be baking powder or skip and use s.r. flour plus a pinch of salt. Add two beaten eggs plus the sticky liquid, beat together, then knead with fingers to a uniformly coloured dough.  It says to wrap and leave overnight.  I left it in the fridge for 30 minutes. 
Roll out to about half a centimetre thickness ... maybe mine was a little thicker :) then shape with cutters.  You could stud dried fruits for eyes and buttons or add decorative icing for features when cool... (beyond my talent and patience!)
Bake in hot oven for 12 to 15 minutes. Mine were beginning to burn after 10 ... be on guard!
Transfer to a cooling rack, then bake the next batch!
As it makes a lot of biscuits you could try halving the recipe or maybe freezing half the batch of dough. I have no idea what that will do to the dough!!!!!!!! 

TASTE FACTOR:
Some were nice and spongy, others too crunchy for my liking. The crucial factor seems to be, not to roll the dough too thinly nor to bake even for a few seconds too long or maybe not to have as hot an oven. There is no thermostat on my ancient insert oven! The recipe from a magazine from the past says 200C but all ovens are different! 


Wednesday 29 January 2014

History of the Battle of Tours / Poitiers 732 AD plus Nature Reserves


The BBC recently aired a programme "In Our Time" presented by Melvyn Bragg.
I quote from the programme blurb: 

In 732 a large Arab army invaded Gaul from northern Spain, and travelled as far north as Poitiers. There they were defeated by Charles Martel, whose Frankish and Burgundian forces repelled the invaders. The result confirmed the regional supremacy of Charles, who went on to establish a strong Frankish dynasty.  The Battle of Tours was the last major incursion of Muslim armies into northern Europe; some historians, including Edward Gibbon, have seen it as the decisive moment that determined that the continent would remain Christian.

I have provided these links for anyone who enjoys history:

 http://www.thelatinlibrary.com/imperialism/notes/tours.html

http://www.histoire-pour-tous.fr/forum/moussais-86-la-bataille-de-poitiers-en-732-t9979.html 

I can't find my own photos of Moussais... possibly pre this computer's photo system.  It is quite an interesting outdoor museum / exhibition but last time I was there it looked as if it needed TLC.   It is sited near the lake of St Cyr which is heaving with waterside visitors in Summer but in Winter there are more avian visitors and it's good to walk around the lake... nearby a golf club! Also it is not far from the Reserve Naturelle de Pinail...where  now that mining for millstones has ceased there is heathland and small ponds, a haven for wildlife.  A group visit might be a good idea???????


Tuesday 28 January 2014

Happy Birthday Daughter

Aquarius = orchid flower zodiac sign  
It's my daughter's birthday.  She will be pleased that I am not making marmalade this year!
As an Aquarian she is supposed to be inventive. That is so but could she do more in that direction?
I found this description, which should make her laugh given recent life events!!!
they'd like to make the world work better, which is why they focus much of their energy on our social institutions and how they work (or don't work). Aquarians are visionaries, progressive souls who love to spend time thinking about how things can be better. They are also quick to engage others in this process, which is why they have so many friends and acquaintances. Making the world a better place is a collaborative effort for Aquarians.
Wishing her a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY and hoping that she continues to try and make the world a better place!!! 

Monday 27 January 2014

Aldo Ciccolini - the pianist

On Friday night I was privileged to hear and watch the former teacher of Laurie Clement, my piano teacher.  In Paris, she was taught by Aldo Ciccolini At the age of 88 he plays impeccably. You may read his history here.
Here is a video of Ciccolini two years ago, performing the first piece from Friday night's concert which was as perfect!

There were pieces by Chopin, Schumann and Castelnuovo-Tedesco (new to my ear!).  For an encore he played a piece that my best friend at college used to play.  How I envied her ability!  It was "Minstrels" by Debussy,  here played by Claudio Arrau.
At the end of the concert I waited whilst the audience departed very slowly.  I would like to bet that the man in front of me who told the woman next to him that the pianist did not play with sensibilité (with emotion/sensitivity) was an insensitive soul himself and probably not even a pianist.  I almost said something but words in French failed me! Did he not appreciate an accomplishment of age and experience?
This, the week the Italian Conductor Claudio Abbado aged 80 died.
There can be no excuse now to think that my fingers are less agile!!!!! Perseverance, endurance! Music is a language which keeps the brain and body young!!!!!!!
(photographs above are mine)

Sunday 26 January 2014

Moved by a Movie

Whilst watching again the movie I realised that I'd moved from reading the Beat,  Kerouac and his travels across Amereeeeeeeecar... to watching hippie travels across Southern USA! The music tracks were great for the era! Memories...  BUT...
I had forgotten the tragic ending so it was not such a good thing for mild depression that had developed yesterday despite trying to sleep it off.  I made myself work in garden sunshine for I couldn't face a walk.  I LOVE to get my hands earthy!  It's rewarding to weed and rake out spent growth from last year.. make way for new.
There hasn't been a "down"day like that since November.  I think it came about from an accumulation of knowing that there is a roofing mystery,  going out the night before but being unable to communicate to anyone about the brilliant pianist, difficulties over two days getting the woodburner to FIRE UP, then "THINGS including medical matters" that had been built in my mind over the last week ... and the approach of February.

I have a large poster of Fonda on his famous chopper! It's waiting to be mounted (on hardboard).

I LOVE to go to the cinema but have never been often enough, where I am absorbed into drama, screen and sound.  I find it hard to concentrate on small screens; have never been a fan of television. Yesterday, was a time to escape into a different world.  Easy Rider.  Every ten or fifteen minutes I would press PAUSE to play the piano - Chopin Nocturnes ... with Passion ... for Romance that existed in Chopin's mind for love and unrequited love... One can hear and feel such beauty in the small trills, melodies, counter melodies, changes of rhythm and pattern, nuances of emotion... Then I return to the fireside and watch a little more... and backtrack if I want to!

At the end of the evening, the house felt kind, calm, peaceful, content... 'IT' had passed and I knew that tomorrow would be a better day for the soul! 

Thursday 23 January 2014

Hooting owl and crafty cat


Little people cannot sit still and they wriggled and jiggled with their paper mask puppets symbolising The Owl and the Pussycat... I'd sang the song and let them draw their own versions on the last surrogate granny sit, but this time, following mum's idea whilst re-engaging with what it is to work with little ones not yet three, I managed to devise and prep the parts...  Then the little ones mostly did the making of marks with coloured pens and crayons and glueing, including indeed licking their fingers, which I did try to discourage!   The positioning of the parts was a bit anarchic but eventually they were in agreement and could see the masks transforming from paper shapes to craftwork... it was a good opportunity to learn colours and shapes... Fortunately I had coloured paper but an old rose catalogue provided the darker colours!
Later, they made a boat with my blankets on the oak floor and we rocked and sang on the deep blue ocean. Then one little one started to sing Row, row, row the boat and so we found that on the internet and watched and sang, watched and sang, so all was calm by the time that mummy arrived!
Who's next for granny sitting?

ADDENDUM:
The class of two are so funny.  They are rather fascinated with my bathroom because they are allowed to have face cream!!!!! My towel rail has a shiny, silver metal, mirror-like base...one twin asked if they could fall in?!!!!  Eventually, one looked in and took his face closer and closer until it touched the metal whilst his sister who'd asked the question watched afraid!  Then he turned around and wriggled into the small space to sit on the "pond" and we all laughed!  It reminded me of being a Brownie and having to walk three times around the mirror on the ground and then peer into it... At the age of 6 or 7 it was a world beyond my experience and I was so spooked to look in! I'm sure you know what I saw!!!!!!

Wednesday 22 January 2014

Book Review - On the Road

The reader is on an epic journey alongside Jack Kerouac.  However at the end, one can say "wow" and "phwew" and be relieved that it is ended. Also be somewhat saddened that such a brilliant, descriptive, experiential writer died at the age of 47, because of alcohol abuse.  In this novel there are many accounts of drugs, alcohol and jazz, for then it was not rock'n'roll!  Hi (high) ... man! The literary journey, eloquently and elegantly describes 'beat' people in all its contextual meanings, landscapes, people, men and women and all that went on between!  He was part of The Beat Generation.  It changed attitudes and history!  Interesting!

Evidently, the first draft of this novel was written in three weeks in 1951 whilst the author was living with his second wife in Manhattan, New York.  It was typed on a one hundred and twenty foot continuous scroll of sheets of tracing paper cut to size and taped together.  It was without margins or paragraph breaks.   Later, Kerouac revised the text, deleting sections which in the 1950s were considered pornographic. He added other storyline tales.

The particular book I read was found in a stored box of books. I had unwittingly acquired it, but as it really belongs to my friend, it can now be returned!  It's one of those books that I am  often reluctant to read... browned pages... however, I thought I ought to read this classic! Glad that I did!

I haven't ever been to America.  Sometimes I think I might like to go. I have a friend as well as a second cousin and his family who live in the north.   I would love to see certain places like New York, the Grand Canyons and places where rock culture began and maybe any French speaking towns.

Tuesday 21 January 2014

A View of My Wonderful Village

and this at closing of the shortest day 21st December 2013 towards the south and west!

Monday 20 January 2014

Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?

I absolutely love this painting and would love a copy!
My first thoughts are that she is seductive, beautiful,  elegant, sensuous, amorous, glamorous, evocative, erotic, fashionable, wealthy, intellectual, educated.  Someone who mixes in the circles of the elite and the bourgeoisie, with artists, musicians, composers, poets, writers. Someone who appreciates music, dance, or cabaret.
Perhaps this pretty-in-pink-woman has been sipping expensive pink champagne as she poses for the artist. (I would like that!)  She the muse, turns her head  haughtily or naughtily to one side, so that he can replicate her exquisite features with a Grecian or Roman nose.  Tricky to define! She drops the dress from her shoulder! It says what it does!


I did some research:
Her name is Marthe de Florian, an actress. She appears to be wearing a wedding ring.
The artist is Giovanni Bondini - the date1898 - It was at the time of La Belle Époque in Paris.
In Society the artist and she would have appreciated Debussy or Ravel, Toulouse-Lautrec, Rousseau, Matisse, Rimbaud or Verlaine.
A shadow falls upon the opulence depicted in the frame.
A shadow falls upon the history of this story.

Evidently, it has been reported that the owner of the Parisian apartment  fled to the South of France in 1940 to avoid the German invasion of Paris. She abandoned all her possessions which she had inherited from her grandmother and never returned but did continue to pay the rental! When she died at the age of 91 in 2010 the heirs of her estate ordered an inventory to be made of the items in the apartment which were covered on dust and cobwebs and had not seen the light of day for 70 years!

The person who discovered this painting said "his heart skipped a beat" when he saw it.
My heart skipped a beat when I found it on the internet.
I loved it so much I sent it to a friend and oh my! 

I discovered the story of the house frozen in time because I wanted to find new internet reading so had googled BLOGS IN FRANCE and the choices  revealed the following blog:
http://www.theparisblog.com/     Scroll down to the date January 2nd 2014

You can read more at:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8042281/Parisian-flat-containing-2.1-million-painting-lay-untouched-for-70-years.html

and also at: http://www.house-crazy.com/a-parisian-apartment-frozen-in-time-for-70-years/
and at:   http://www.anothermag.com/current/view/32/Madame_de_Florians_Abandoned_Apartment


Sunday 19 January 2014

Yesterday

this blog had 332 posts and 5,555 page views all time history! 

Saturday 18 January 2014

A Full Moon - A Rosie Moon

02.30 ish
I awoke disturbed  ...  I snuggled down beneath the duvets, but unusually these days, I wished for a cup of tea.  Then memory set in!  I told myself that as there was no 'servant for the princess', I COULD get up, get cold, get a cup of tea, get a hot water bottle ... and then I saw the moon ... my Cancerian sign... A full moon with a star / planet nearby. Was it Jupiter planet or star Regulus?   It was quite warm in my courtyard ... about 9C ...
I wanted to sit outside with someone and chat, hold hands!
"Come outside ... it's a lovely moon out 'ere"...
so I took my camera and tried to shoot the moon!
It had a whole circle of light around it, but distant from it.  I've not seen the circle that far away before. Although I have seen full moons with smaller nearer circles. I think the circles are to do with refracted light and ice crystals.  By 5h30am the circle around the moon had decreased to a small halo.

I have a grand niece born a few weeks or months ago... she has been called Rosie Moon.
I don't know whether I will ever see her because her grandmother, who is my sister, stopped seeing me 20 years ago!!!!!!! This may be a celebration of having a grand-niece that I will never know.  I was deprived of being an aunt, likewise my niece and nephew were deprived of knowing me!    Nevertheless, I bought this little French Esprit number, 100% cotton, to send to the new person!  It's aged 9 months so it will fit eventually! When I visited Sri Lanka the moon rabbit was mentioned: it's Asian folklore. 

I was interrupted from my sleep by various thoughts and dreams about love and lovers and my children and grandchild!  Then the need for tea prompted:  the futile words "I miss him". These entered my head. I sobbed for only a few seconds before laughing out aloud!  A speedy recovery! It was an acknowledgement to accept that I DO miss all the lovely things we had together...but not the anger. Maybe Anger was part of the Passion and I didn't know! but no one should have had to listen to what I did.  I chose to stay despite desperation many times to escape from it, knowing not where I could go whilst all my possessions were in his house!  Maybe, being the difficult woman that I am, (isn't everyone difficult?), I pressed some triggers / buttons ... but I know I was not the cause, for I never asked for it and I was not to blame!
My father's anger towards my mother was more than enough in my life and I never expected to see that level of uncontrollable rage again! It was outright mental, emotional, physical abuse to my mother and indirectly very damaging to us kids. At least my dear friend didn't throw all and sundry through the air as did my father. As children, when saucepans came flying through the kitchen, we would scamper up to our rooms.  I would read. We would wait a long time or to the next day before it was time to venture downstairs to see the damage or to know if the storm was over.  One day I had to help collect cacti spines that had been embedded in the carpet...whhooosssh swiped from the window-sill with his wild moon madness!

I am thinking positively.  It is OK to miss someone. It is OK to mourn the loss of love. And indeed all that loss of friendship and support IS what I mourn!  He was a bestest friend.  It's OK to feel that!  It's OK to mourn the loss of Passion and Earthly, bodily functions that occur between people.  By feeling it, maybe it, the emotion deep within me, will heal!  BUT I THINK NOT. I accept it. I accept who I am!
I thought in the course of finding new passion and new friends, male and female, platonic and otherwise, going out into society, being busy with my life, it would decrease and so it has ... but here, alone though never lonely, tucked away in a village space that I love, there is a deep-down-hollow-place.
I am not ashamed to express this publicly.  It is not to shame anyone. I have thought hard and long about that. But I do believe in truth and so I have a vow to tell a truth when questioned or when the situation arises.  I'm not going to cause any level of deception. To avoid REALITY is a lie. It is not even attention seeking. I should really be writing the book ... The first words of the first pages always different, have often recently come to me when I am in the bath or lying horizontal. Then I arise and they disappear... so several starts have been finished! In the past many years I have often wondered why I can think whilst horizontal and then when I arise the words disappear.

LOSS ..... there it is..... in NEON lettering in my dream in March 2010 about 4 to 6 weeks before I bought my house, before he, I suspect, fearing that I was going to leave him, pushed me away first, to save his own fears of being rejected and abandoned, because I suppose that is what he had felt... history had bought us there... to that place in time...
I never ever meant to hurt him with my own anger about the world...
and I never wish to receive such anger ever again in my life! 
I remembered times when living together...times when he would regularly wake in the middle of the morning...   For some years it was because I thrashed about...but after he started to sleep by himself and when he lived solo again, I realised that I had been blamed for something that was not my fault despite the grains of truth.  Yes, I might have disturbed his quietude but as he had a pattern of waking early and still has, then it wasn't only me!

and so ... I REMEMBERED that on a few occasions when I couldn't sleep or we'd got something to talk about he would bring me tea in bed... and we would sit and hold hands together .. and for the first time in over 4 years I was thinking about the togetherness that tea and passion can bring... it was the last thing that really woke me up.
Before that, were other thoughts ... about being a surrogate grandma (rentagranny), about being a grandma that is not there with my own granddaughter, about the lack of communication she gives towards me when I am there though I have tried,  about how I try to support my own children when they don't seem to do what I need them to do to help themselves especially if I've stepped into help them.      So many thoughts... and many a moon madness... but I know that it is purely my struggle to make sense of my life... the past, present and the future, to make sense of who I am and why I need my friends around me and why I want to keep friends with my former lovers who have been truly worthy mentors and the bestest of friends who know me so well!  And yes, I have done my share of mooning over the men I have loved and still love!!!!!!!!!  It's my journey!

Friday 17 January 2014

Book Review - And The Mountains Echoed

 And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

I loved this book because after reading the words,
my mind echoed with thoughts about the rights and wrongs that happen in human life.
How well can any of us do as parents?
How, sometimes unintentionally, we make mistakes
in order to please others
or to force events
or push and pull
in order to survive.

I will read the book again.

Q: Why did I choose this book?
A: Because it was timely. Because I enjoyed "The Kite Runner" but missed his second novel : A Thousand Splendid Suns
Q: How did I choose this book?
A:  At the airport. I liked the blurb on the back cover. I was fascinated by the 13th century Rumi poetry at the front of the book "Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." 
Q: What did I like about the book?
A: It was about families, loss, love, sacrifice, -  in different situations out of necessity, accident or death, because of courageous or difficult decisions made.  It was about attachment, belonging, 'having roots' and being homeless. It was about poverty and the inverse.  It was about rejection and abandonment.  It was about secrets, deceptions and accepting truths. It was about dishonesty and honesty. It was about perseverance and the quest for knowledge. It showed how ageing can be entrapment for others and by abandoning the one who abandoned, one can cast off a heavy load. It was scary, provocative, sad, joyful.  It contains so many elements about real life that I found it very emotional. It forced me to question the motives of characters in the narrative as well as people in reality.  Out of anguish, angst and torment comes liberty and a freedom to live, and to love anew with family that hadn't been known in life.  When one doesn't know where the tale is going, the echoes and mirrors become suddenly clear.  When the sun goes down in the valley, the moon will rise elsewhere. When the eagle soars in the mountains he can look down and see clearly the smallest mouse. A truly beautiful narrative.
Q: Was there anything I didn't like?
A: I don't always read titles of chapters so was taken aback when the story wasn't chronological...I had to start again and pay more attention to titles which told me the time frame, characters, plot and events.
Q: Anything else?
A: It made me think about regret partuclarly childhood and becoming aged, how children don't always know so how can they appreciate parental sacrifice and suffering. It made me think more about the waste of life that can occur to so many because of poverty or the loss of one's partner, or the loss of a parent or the one who loses a child or a sibling. It made me think about the suffering we have as children or as adults or both!  It made me think more about the frailty and absurdity of life and how one's journey through the mountains is paved for us... it is designated for us by a Power so Great.
Q: What is there to be prepared for?
A: The international twists.  Make sure a handkerchief is at the ready!


Thursday 16 January 2014

Well... the current french amour

discussed in the rags on the internet is producing some very funny (to me) statements

- French people have a sex life / British people have hot water bottles
- French bathrooms have radiators / British ones are  cold (usually the only room where you are required to be naked in order to have a wash!!!!!)
- French people eat green peas with a fork / British put peas on top of the upside down fork
- French chat non-stop especially whilst dining / British only chat when taking dogs for a walk
- On the Continent people have good food / British have good table manners!
Abbreviated slightly! 

ADDENDUM 19 January 2014:
I can't disagree with this BBC journalist:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-25756961

I think that is what I have been trying to equate.  I think FH whilst in office has a duty not only to France but to the world AND to pay respect and deference to his Lady and not go scooting off elsewhere, no matter how strong his hunger, never mind appetite. He is a MAN!  I see that they have been an item for many years before he held office. Now, as far as I know, we don't know about what has been on her plate, but if she has been loyal, then he is offensive by not being honest to her and not honouring her.  It annoys me that two people who have acknowledged each other as if they were husband and wife, despite not being legally wed but whom do live together ... and then have 'painful moments' ... then one would hope people could be sufficiently emotionally intelligent to find a solution to the problem between them in a civilised manner.
Mature, senior couples dating ... I think should be able to talk about what it is that they WANT and discuss the consequences ... if possible before the deed is done but that doesn't always work out in reality!!!!!!!!!!

FURTHER ADDENDUM 26 January 2014 20h
MY THOUGHTS
Now that he has made his intentions clear why couldn't he have done this beforehand and allowed each of the three to have DIGNITY?   OK...all sorts of scenarios were possibly true, that in the last two years VT did not know, or did know, or was asked to leave or refused to leave, or any other unthought scenarios.  I know what it is to not have anywhere to go because one installed all one's eggs into one basket... called LOYALTY... and there is nothing shameful in THAT...
I am sure she will be OK... She has friends in high places... whatever sticks of belongings she has in the Elycee can be re-housed. I am sure her income will be more than the poorest citizen of France or mine and so will surface and may she hold her head up high... for at the very least I believe HE could have given DIGNITY and RESPECT because of the POWER he holds!!!!!!!
... number 3 should watch her back!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday 15 January 2014

Logs for a Woodburner

arrived yesterday at 9h. Six steres. Whilst admiring how well the logs were stacked on the trailer to prevent tumbling and being nervous about the discharge, I didn't notice that they were 500mm in length until after the chap had left. When my friend arrived, I began to consider the strategy to work together in a confined space. I realised that the first one did not fit between the two towers I had prepped in the 'shed'.  I'd used the logs from last year which were 330mm. HELP!!!! The very large thick logs don't burn that well in my particular woodburner. The 50cm logs would fit into the large woodburner but not the small one. How would I manage later in the year? I would have to find someone to chainsaw them and anyway they were far too heavy for me to carry.  After controlling the rising panic, I drove to the man's house. ! He remembered but had forgotten that I'd asked for the metre lengths to be cut into thirds. After many merdes he admitted it was his fault. I admire that because I have observed that some French people do not like to apologise! He was so good.

He came with his tronçonneuse and cut nearly all the lengths into two. That took another two hours. My friend began to clear logs from the road. She placed them on the 'horse', the man sawed cut them in half or one third and two thirds and I threw the smaller logs further into the courtyard. The pile grew ever larger.  At the same time I started stacking in the 'shed' room but it was a slow process with little bits and many triangular pieces!!!! After a while, I thought smaller logs were to my advantage. We'd also contacted my friend's son and although he'd brought his chainsaw, by then it wasn't necessary.  He started stacking elsehwhere and eventually finished all the stacking, whilst she and I carried the logs to him into the wood store.  We saved all the sawdust.. because if I don't use it my Raku pottery teacher will.

Although I am paying a high price for the logs it is not as high as it could be. I am not complaining.  I know how many hours it takes to go the woods and log the trees, move to keep them for three years, then cut and move again, then deliver where they have be carried and stacked again.  And the work is not without its danger. Falling trees or logs can cause injury.

What annoys me is when someone asks to be paid for travelling to work. It's because I've offered that in the past when I've been grateful for emergency help in difficult circumstances; therefore had set a precedent. Well, I missed that squeeze on this occasion!  I've been too generous when I was more flush!  If the cost of labour can't be reduced then I'll have to seriously consider whether or not to employ him.  I suppose there shouldn't be financial consideration as to whether a person is old and frail or fit and young, a pensioner or an employee, a friend or stranger, but my pensionable income only goes so far.  I know that one's hourly rate is one's hourly rate but I have had to adapt my teaching fees per hour in the past. Maybe this person deosn't need employment. His rate was way higher than the minimal hourly wage!
Also I suppose having lived with a male friend for so many years when we were mutually supportive it comes as a shock to be without assistance and as a single female I now have to pay for practical support.
Maybe it is true what a friend once said and that I do live in Cloud Cuckoo Land.

I was indeed truly grateful for both men helping us two women and also saving my dilemma.  I am hoping to swap 8 hours labour with my friend if she will let me!

I don't know what the cost of heating or the price of logs is in UK. My room temperatures never rise above 20C. That would be heaven. Generally it's between 12C and 18C.  However, I prefer to feel the heat and see the flames in a fire. I'm happy to suffer a little and put on layers of clothing: if necessary wear a coat and hat indoors.  I remember my aunt and grandmother doing that! 

Saturday 11 January 2014

Twelve years ago

... today, I became the owner of half a former English inn ... it was 400 years old, behind which, were old Tannery buildings, some had been demolished but others were renovated as storage, garage or workshop. I employed my best friend to renovate which he did exquisitely!  That house was my pride and joy apart from the fact traffic vibrated the living accommodation on the second floor in the loft space!  The pavement in front of the house was not really wide enough for a wheelchair or pushchair. One could almost reach out and touch the buses! I have some regret leaving that beautiful home which was haunted and I only discovered that in the last week.  The stained glass window on the front door was my design, representing the town and common, painted beautifully by my friend's daughter. One of our cats, Little Feat, used to greet Neal Powell, an author, almost every time he walked through the back yard. He adored her when she rolled over his brown polished leather shoes.

I must find photos of interior and exterior. It is one of my jobs to trawl through a lifetime of photos, paper, framed and unframed, and those on CD and on iphoto........ help!

My house was by the river, not far from Elizabeth Jane Howard's island. I always thought she was a most beautiful woman but when I lived near her I was too busy to read her novels. I enjoyed the recent BBC radio 4 serialisation of The Cazalets, always thinking that I could hear “her” speaking, then to my surprise I discovered that much was based on her own experiences.  I could sympathise and empathise with her somewhat Bohemian lifestyle, failed marriages, affairs of the heart, passion, mooning over men, mistreatment yet she'd had a good life …such ambivalence is there in love and passion. I know bohemian but not all her traumas, thank goodness!

I had the enormous privilege of meeting her in her kitchen. I remember being served tea and cake,  being in awe of her very simple lifestyle which reminded me of my grandmother, being allowed to wander onto her very own island. What joy to be on that piece of land that I had coveted and marveled at just a few years before, when, not knowing the future, I had stood on The Common and decided that I wished to live "over there". Unwittingly, unknowingly, I completed my dream in 2002.  It was several years later that the memory of the incident returned. 


What a wonderful thing for her to have lived where she lived and to have written from her heart.

What a wonderful thing for me that I met her... just the once and I can write from my heart.  She was a great authoress.  In Memoriam.

Thursday 9 January 2014

Passion Ate Self Pity

in the absence
of further renovation projects beyond a dream,
and
in the absence
of exciting adventures beyond a horizon,
i drift into adventures of the mind,
to consider in the looking glass
what passion stirs behind,
within the brain.
i listen to what the walrus had to say
when he suggested
"the time has come to talk of many things".

Without procrastination
he tackled the task in hand
to demonstrate
passion-ate!
copyright RestlessinFrance

I like to play with words and talk of many things!

One of my passions is attempting to play Chopin Nocturnes.  I can reasonably play four and others are being learned. That is the task in hand for 2014. Recently, I've taken to listening to and playing along with the Great Masters on You Tube. OK I can't keep up the speed of the central section of opus 15 number 1 - the right hand fingers need greater flexibility!  A friend gave me an old CD player which skips a beat...I skipped a beat when he offered it to me...but jacked into my laptop it can sure belt out the volume, which means I can hear the music at the same time as playing my piano!

Another passion is cooking but cooking for one has become uninspired.  I've gathered all my cookbooks together and am aghast at how many I have in various states of 'used' or 'unused'.  I ought to start reading them to gain inspiration. Once upon a time ago I made all my Indian savouries and desserts from single ingredients. We didn't have Pataks in those days! Maybe I would like to start making pasta. Several birthdays have gone by without receiving a pasta machine and they're not expensive so just maybe.. perhaps..I could have a reward a little later on! Indonesian food appeals too. I love Wagamama's. Maybe a focus on terrines or tarts... mmmmm.....

Another passion is writing... I do a lot of that.  It has been emotional outpouring but now self-pity has been washed away...almost drowned in fact ... it'd better not re-surface or it'll need another shove under! And yet...emotional outpouring has created quite a few story scripts and poetry efforts...and a friend who read them made complimentary remarks. Oh arrogance, get thee gone!
I KNOW I want to collate all the scribings I have in various places into some kind of literary presentation .. for me .. not for anyone else in particular...except maybe....

It isn't a Passion but I am currently choosing to solve various issues / matters that have flawed and floored me, that require literary effort, mathematical skills and social negotiating skills, not that I have many, and those that I did have are rather rusty!  At last the brain is beginning to work again and even shows signs of motivation and discipline. It's jolly hard work to keep on task and every now and then I nag myself to get back to it. Sometimes I've lost what I am looking for or I go to a room and can't remember why I am there.. so I stand calmly, track back and quickly remember! Self-discipline is hard to find.

The admin for the velo accident is ongoing. I must solve the annuity problem and how to access hard cash to do what I want to do. I need a job!!!!!! I have a job in the wings ...  it's called  "clear stuff in attic" "get a grip on mysteries of ebay/paypal"... generate funds for travel, which I yearn for like I yearn for Passion.  If I can't do it this year then the plan is to start to organise thoughts and resources for the following year.  SMALL STEPS! I consider this to be positive and not procrastination!
I am reading books. No, not the electronic ones! Often I can be quite a slow reader in that I don't always want to read, but when I find a good book I get a bit obsessed and then will read long hours into the night.

I've decided to make postings about books.

Despite such nuisances as medical matters, the feet work very well!!!! BUT now ohhhhhhhh and ahhhhhhh - my arms have become very painful!!!!  Woops... is that self pity?

AND to end, because I have just found it ....about two years ago a very dear friend, a wonderful teacher and mentor, wrote such very wise words: 
"you probably need a new focus, something to really engage with & apply yourself to, to allow your natural self to re-emerge & flourish. It’s about self-expression. You have your musical talent…use it. You are a thinker and a communicator...do it. You can move mountains...do it. But not just for yourself, and not house renovation! Unpaid coaching, mentoring, volunteering, advocacy, committees, group activities…family."
 

 

Wednesday 8 January 2014

French Pronunciation

It's fun learning a language when receiving medical treatment! In the last year I've had practice!
Last week at the kinaestherapist I attempted to explain what I had learned from the internet about my arm injury / problem.  When she said that a lot of people have the same problem it seemed she wanted me to accept it as part of my age! 
Non, no, non!   I need my arm to carry logs...and here begins the lesson because she didn't understand my pronunciation of two homophones which are not pronounced exactly the same:
There is une bûche and une bouche!  The first is a log and the second a mouth!
When she realised what I was trying to say she was in hoots of laughter!
(In English I thought "Well, the French can't pronounce some of our sounds!")
She had me practising the oh as if to end with a wer sound then think of making an ee sound whilst pushing the lips forward and making the oo sound like at the bottom of the front teeth!
I had to do that whilst little electrodes created wonderful tinglles acros my shoulder blades!
Then there are other words that sound similar:
bu - pp boire (to drink)  
le but - goal
la boue  - mud
le bout - tip

Wednesday 1 January 2014

01012014 Five chimes

Five chimes
Five chimes from a French cloche sound the hour.
Repeated a few moments later
to remind those within hearing distance,
in case one has not heard,
nor counted, that it is the TIME.
White clouds skitter about a blue sky skirting our world.
Pink and blue hues press grey woodsmoke to the village valley.
As I descend from walking the plateau above that vale
where houses hunker down around the church tower recently renovated,
where people snuggle down around the brass bell recently repaired,
now more sonorous to tell the hour and the half hour,
I smell the hazy, smoky woodiness of a garden bonfire in late autumn,
not many days before the winter solstice.
I see the curling woodsmoke spiralling towards the sky,
to be pressed down around the field in which it is.
A most beautiful village with smells so sweet and smoky
to mark a changing season towards the changing end of year.

With all my very best wishes for a wonderfully exciting 2014.
Love from  RestlessinFrance

Copyright. Please do not reproduce without permission 
Photo November 2013 from my rooftop: Poem December 2013