Before fireworks on the same day

"Oh how magazine" says a friend for morning coffee re the kitchen!

We sat for longer than I thought she had time yet I was pleased to chat.
Even though I'd forgotten about my intended trip to Le Blanc, where 350 stalls were showing ancient and modern ware in intense heat,  I went with three hours to spare.  It was worth the pistachio ice cream but I did not find what I was looking for. On the way I took a route that I was not familiar with (was thinking about something else, so travelled much further cross-country than I relished).
On the edge of one of the many woodlands a sleek, golden brown buck bolted across the road looking into my eyes as I approached at speed!

I rather like the fusion of wood and metal and thought of my son who could make something such as this or these.

 Then I thought of at least two friends who like sports vehicles!

The second one is for me!

Whizz home to leftover lamb (all leftover veg had been eaten in three days), quick shower, dress business-like for two hours voluntary work which made my head spin!
Whizz home to calm quiche making from THE FRENCH KITCHEN ... page 55 and my first pastry making session in three years, I am sure!  Bit short but it yummy. Not enough tomatoes in the fridge so adapt with red peppers. No cream so add the festering feta cheese and left over cube of pokey Cantal diced small with Herbes du Provence. YUM. Any bacteria is blasted by the heat!

in the oven

out of the oven, on the new grill, on top of the new induction hob and the lovely silk print of frangipani flowers selected by me from Sri Lanka 20 years ago!

a slice of!

Gently stroll at twilight along places where people gather to watch fireworks as mist hovers above the river pressed down by colder air before the fun of the fair.
(Does that need commas? Perhaps or not?)

Three clicks of the camera and the theatrical stage view changes slightly!

Not often are stages set with people cooking, eating, walking, searching, sitting, waiting for the best viewing place, whilst that grand chateau under repair and fortification has waited for 11 centuries for this day to look down upon us.
It is under new management by a company from Dordogneshire - a company that manages several National Monuments. Unfortunately, the Forteresse and the Roc aux Sorciers will, as far as I know be closed at the end of August, so come this month if you would like tickets for the two sites. 

More images of fireworks

... this time from the ipad, which I had to send to my email address and receive on the computer, then download to downloads then search for TODAY, then upload to here.
Whether they shall stay, or not,  I do no know!  I have since then uploaded from downloads to iphoto Events, then merged 9 photos one by one...
Rather laborious in this high tech world me thinks!

( for smart readers.. I have added this post respectively so it is in a better order!)

Until next year... That tree needs to come down!

Looking back - starting to update

Looking back from today
starting with yesterday
I shall begin to recreate
a kind of replicate
in photo
in word.

Yesterday 7th August was the 80th anniversary of the Feu d'Artifice which began in my village in 1936, only interrupted during WWII and in 2012, when a very stormy, rainy day, which had cleared by 22h cancelled the event.  It was started to celebrate the first time the people of France had been given paid holiday.
The first candle of a firework fountain or torch burned from the castellations in 1936. Another has been added each year!
I have been privileged over the years to view the drama, hear the commentary and music from several places, I still think the best was the year that "Carmina Burana" belted out!   Although, I have never sat on the island, methinks that next year that would be the pace to be!  Since 2006 I have sat on each side of the river. Once I shared a home made pizza picnic with my lover.  Another time I shared a picnic alone. I sat since the afternoon to preserve myself a place, forlorn with the realisation that love was lost.  One year, at the last minute, I climbed the *** to disturb others, to squeeze a place to sit to watch the spectacle.  It was extremely crowded that particular year; I forget which!  For various years I have stood in a friend's garden by the side of the river.  In 2015 there was a splendid view as the high trees blocking the view had been removed.   It was a good social occasion.  In 2014 and this year I viewed the chateau from not quite as high, but high from the balcony of the grandmother's house of my French-English friends.  A sociable, welcoming family.
This year there seemed to be fewer people. Some are too afraid to be in crowded settings. Some have been advised not to attend such events. The village employed extra security and this is a possibility why some have been intimidated. Several people seemed to be walking in the wrong direction at the wrong hour!  Every year there is a charge. Currently 7e.  I don't mind paying.  However, I think it is a lot of money for a family for less than one hour's entertainment when many firework events are subsidised and free.  So many people were confused this year about parking arrangements and whether they would be able to get home; get out of the village.  I think much more should be done to inform the public.  Small notices are not always clear.  This year there was much more deliberation to remove all vehicles from the streets.  Tractors blocked the entrances to the village and near my house one vehicle flouted the regulation.  I also witnessed verbal abuse insulting an elderly man who works voluntarily.  The French 4x4 local driver was unnecessarily arrogant just because he could not drive through at 5pm precisely.

After the spectacle I went to the funfair.  The children always like to have a go on the ducks, expensive at 4e for ten ducks but they always are given a prize.  The older boy loves to do Shooting the three balloons "Hit Rifle" and after their three family paid sessions I paid for one more. That meant I could have one shot, the children each one, mum and dad each one and then the older boy an extra shot.  I was so surprised to pop two balloons in one having never done it before!  After that I promised the seven year old a dodgems ride.  It's called "Racing Cars". I haven't driven one since I was in my thirties!  Last year, my former partner drove and it was wonderful to LAUGH!  I had to brace myself against the whiplash but this year I seemed much better at physically handling the experience.
It was 5e for three tokens .. three rides,  but they gave me four! Although the boy wanted to hold the wheel and drive I had to take control otherwise we wouldn't have been motionless and prey to all bumpers! Whilst driving, which was great fun, he wanted to bump the others and I pointed out that there was skill in getting around without bumping or being bumped!  We did a few 360 degree circles!  Then I gave each of the younger twins a ride! Again they held the wheel and eventually allowed me to take control of which direction we were going, my arm around them protecting them from being thrown out of the car.
It was half past one when I returned home.  Sandbags were in strategic positions.. I am sorry but I thought security was OTT... six officers overseeing the funfair at that time of night!
Still, it was necessary, I am sure, and the organisers felt supported in their quest to uphold this traditional event for the general public.  In the current climate the village were not intimidated.

I always forget to set the camera on a programme which will take night bright moving light firework shots. This year I also took some with my ipad.  These are from the camera.
I have only edited with ENHANCE and CROP and rather like the weird atmospheric colour!

Still - grammatically speaking

An adverb:
as in
still in this place where I live
continuing to breathe
nevertheless
alone.

A noun:
as in
the stillness of this French maison
where quietness returns
where there is lack of much movement, activity, persons, tasks
where 'tis not noiseless,
for Freezer boils from time to time so that Clock can be heard ticking its song.
NOR
as in
stillness of air, water, weather
though 'undisturbed'
I am trying to be.
NOR
as in
still as a frame in a movie
though stop is what
I am trying to do.
NOR
as in
an apparatus to distill alcohol
still even a strong gin and tonic or a snifter of Armagnac would be a slippery slope!

An adjective:
as in
still lemonade - a non fizzy drink
OR
as in
it is not yet possible to be still
OR
as in
not moving or making a sound of being motionless in the DEAD stillness of a life form deceased.
I don't for one moment wish that!

I am trying to stay STILL.
Keep my WILL of not scattering.
Nevertheless,
I have no will to post,  update a blog
but perhaps after a while
after time has healed the moments of the past,
and there is a stillness between memories of joy, sorrow, regret, gratitude 
there will come a time when I can backdate and appreciate.

I came to say the last
BUT Creativity came to mind
whilst being still, focused on words, not emotions.
Being still,
letting my mind be me,
it wrote a poem!

Still

Yup, still not feeling creative with writing or producing articles.
Today the weather has cooled off.
I don't mind on one level but I would like more sunshine for August as mostly work has been indoors.

The kitchen is as done as it can be for now. Needs a splashback and some other treats! I can live with it.  There is such a lot of space as I have kept the laundry room as part larder.  Things will be moved around later.

Pic later.

Last night adding to the stress of Saturday there was a RAVE somewhere.. incessant boom boom base repetitive rhythms and evidently huge beams of light in the sky. It started at 6 and ended at 6!  I eventually slept and emerged at noon today! Day and mood awry!
The stress of Saturday was to do with Thursday and Friday's non stop work of tidying tools away, cleaning dust of renovation from all rooms, being appalled by how many spiders were concealed in corners, and moving stuff out of "atelier" wherever possible has exhausted me and him. FRACTIOUS is an understatement.

CHANGES
UNWELCOME but WELCOME changes are afoot.
Will I cope?
I must!

another year passes by

and I still haven't done that road trip of route 66.  Now the age has progressed to two consecutive digits once again and I shall have to wait for another 11 years before it happens again!
message from my daughter was in emoticoms but I am not sure if it will reproduce here!

🎂🎉🌻😄🍸🍾🎈. Xxxx 😘😘😘 Have a good day.

Only two cards this year.. and then a later one six days later and then another one 14 days later.. 

None from my mother this year or even any reference when I phoned her five days after my special day. Well she will be 90 in September and last year she was in a muddle sending to me as her sister and from my brother ( he has cerebral palsy and she has done everything for him in his lifetime .. he has such terrible shakes that writing is nigh on impossible ) she said I was his niece!!!! 


Much has happened and I don't get or make time to write!

I know

I know, I know my avid list of known readers ... about five... are all waiting to see
pics of the brand new kitchen.. and to read tales of what this mad woman has been doing...
and soon...
soon...
Soon, I shall have time to write and publish my photos.

I shall backdate the news!!

MY EXCUSE -
I have been working. I HAVE BEEN WORKING flat out. even though I have done little to instal the kitchen.  Garden and Domestics had to be controlled to calm the mounting chaos with the kitchen stuff in three rooms in the last 16 months.
A friend has written that my kitchen has been a prison.
YES.  It has been a sentence!
I deviate as usual.

Eventually, I gave up monitoring HIS tools, (the 'friend' who returned for his own sentence!)
Now,  he has a LOT to tidy up and it aint going to be me that does it!
I can see that I shall have to supervise where it all goes because it needs to be tidy ish!

The kitchen and the laundry / larder are all finished apart from the kitchen backsplash and le buanderie credence.
OH MY... dare I cook  in the kitchen?

The kitchen one will have to wait because I cannot choose tiles from a dustance and have no time  nor inclination to travel to tile shops to find something special.

I shall get the chaos sorted here as I have just a few weeks before THE HELPER travels on!!!

It might be good, it might be bad...

BUT despite trying to hear each side of the argument and disagreements
I WANT TO STAY IN EUROPE
and I am seriously upset and disturbed that what is being called a democracy
is what it is suggested to be and methinks it is not TRUE.

How can it be so? When there has not been compulsory voting measures.... nor despite the recent lawsuit by Brian Cave and another meant that British born people who have lived in Europe over 15 years cannot vote..... did not vote and those and the next would have made all the difference!
.. to continue,,,
and then, not related to that lawsuit, British born people who have lived elsewhere in the world cannot vote
and when some British born people who have lived in Europe for less than 15 years have had for one reason or another their right to vote ruined... (postal problems etc)
and when people like me who were born in Britain but who have lived in Europe ( I mean outside of Great Britain) for less than 15 years have voted ... but how can we know our vote was counted!!!!!!!!?

I am sick of Politicians jumping out of the sinking boat... BUT maybe that is a good thing and that those who steady their sails and nerves are staying IN....
( excuse me but I do wish to say to them all F***O**... I can write it FUCK OFF!  Stop using the people of Great Britain to make themselves VICTORIOUS...
NARCISSISM knows no bounds!

I WANT TO BE .... IN EUROPE...

I shall start to shout it... I shall say I WANT like a small child...
BUT I AM a BIG child and I want to feel safe and secure in my pensionable stratum of life!
I paid all my taxes in my working life... never flinched at what was taken ... was told to save in AVCs ... tax free... and now I am up against 40% tax if I wish to take out my lump sum...
BASTARDS! LIARS! ... and that was before this Anarchism!

I wish there to be freedom of movement and peoples within the continent of Europe to choose where they live and work. I would work in France if I could find employment at my age.
BUT I have also a right to have chosen to live here under earlier RULES...
(I pay my taxes in UK and I pay my taxes in France and I am entitled to Social Security... UNDER the old rules .. what next we ask? ...)
and those who live in GREAT BRITAIN have under earlier rules a right to live there...
I am not speaking about those who have violated the correct entry.

I am annoyed because for the last 12 years of living in France whilst RULES HAVE changed over the last 12 years I have been maltreated and treated worse than an immigrant...  it has been shaming when I have done nothing wrong but exercised my free choice!

I was confronted with NHS treatment rules which I managed to duck and dive when I'd had UK treatment and needed after care follow up.   I did not realise at the time the 3 month RULE.
Sadly, I lied because I was one or two weeks outside of the limit!!!!! I had to have the follow up as my bladder did then not work because of the op when I was resident in UK!

I am annoyed that since then when I tried to get a UK mortgage, having had one for 25 years and more in the UK as a single person in UK, I could not even get a foothold back in UK since 2008 without coming back to live there for six months...
NEVER MIND THE EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES and difficulties I was going through!
SO... I took the easier road and got a mortgage in France!

Here we are!!!!!!!  making the most... seeing the glass half full or more or half empty and more!

I am and shall be annoyed, angry, nay furious if UK does not treat their immigrants as I would wish to be treated as an expatriat in France.   We are human beings not pawns!

I am so upset!
I could say so much more but am not always verbally or textually literate.

Of course there has to be democracy but it has been based on insufficient information being disseminated to the people of Great Britain over a period of TIME...
LIES...
BROKEN PROMISES
and POLITICIANS abandoning the ship when they should be walking the bloody gangplank!
TRAITORS - all of them!

There should have been a YEAR of DEBATE and information ... before any vote... THEN it would have been better BALANCED.

I smell a rat. I smell a hunderd thousand rats on the ILLY ALLY O of Great Britain ... and if it were not for my age or family I would tomorrow apply for CITIZENSHIP...
It is still on the cards!

Drains drain

Oh .. poor my dear friend has to down tools on kitchen and pick up tools for drains.

The drain man I have to pay did not come yesterday morning. That was the third date agreed!
When I phoned to see where he was, he said he'd pass by at 14h, which he did. This gave us a chance to verify what has to be done by my friend. We have been cautious!

Tuesday should be the day when the road is dug up.. and a rodding point installed into the road. PLUS overkill perhaps there will be two more "regards" on my side of the road. They have cost about £85 without installation costs of cement, pipes etc...

As I write this my friend is lowering the pipe as agreed so that the descent is correct. It hasn't been!

After the work the road should be repaired, then on another day, Hopefully the day after,  the man will return to install the drainage cover.  We will then have to finish cement work,  reset the gate posts and backfill around the pipes with sand .  I have the tricky task of finding about ten paving slabs that match the existing ones as they had broken with the wear and tear of vehicles going over them in the last 6 years!

Blue meanies ... Drains it has to be! ... we don't get an opportunity to see the Tour de France at any of the nearby villages and towns! 

Almost a month since I thought Summer was here

I was duped!
The weather has been wet, grey, humid, miserable with occasional glimpses of the golden orb!
We have also been working at the kitchen.
Me?   I am the client, the support, the skivvy, the observer, the organiser,  the finder of lost tools,  the person to be consulted about "would you like it like this or this?", the second pair of hands, the person who tries to keep up morale when IKEA kitchen problems arise....
He? He has been the one to use intelligence, skills and expertise on how to put it all together.
We are nearly at the end of the process but not without a few dramas and visits back to IKEA... and still another one is necessary because the second tap also drips very slowly, but it drips and I shall return it and go to a different shop to spen a little more money on a quality tap .. maybe Grohe.

In addition, for the last 4 to 6 weeks the courtyard has been dug up because the mains drains needed attention.  We have installed one Clark drain cover for the existing rodding section which we left below pavement slabs, sand and gravel.  There is another one to instal but we are awaiting delivery of a smaller Clark drain cover.

Today the specialist should arrive on the third date given to make a third rodding drain cover on the public road.  In addition the pipes have to be resited a little so that they have the correct direction of descent!!!!!!!!!!
I really do not need a fourth 'dig up' of the waste system to ensure there is no further backup!  There was enough of that at my previous French residence and it's all very well with strong arms but I don't have those nor the inclination to rod the drains!

Almost a month since I posted on my blog, but I have been disinclined.  It takes time to focus, load photos, type text,  and I just have not been focussed on this form of diary!

Perhaps when I have more of my own time again, or before, I will be able to report on my kitchen progress.

Vide-Grenier Happiness

I looked at a local Emmaus last week for pans for my induction hob.  After I had deliberated about a skillet and a saucepan I returned to the shelf to discover they had been purchased! OH!  Too late! However, they were in nowhere as good a condition as those I found today at a local Brocante / vide grenier.   I am happy.  I need my mood to be lifted!
I like these because they have integral handles.  The largest is black inside. The middle one's inside is a little worn but very ok. The little brown cocotte needed a small clean to get rid of the calcaire on the outside.
The sizes are 23, 20 and 18.  These relate to the quantity of liquid they contain! 
I am happy because they cost 5e, 3e and 2e respectively. They will help strengthen my wrists when I cook! It will demand learning to use new cooking techniques but that's going to  happen anyway with a new induction hob requiring technological understanding.  I have a new Neff techno-wizardry oven with an 'escamotable' door!  It disappears into the body of the oven as it is opened ! Lucky me!
There is no doubt that I shall continue to use my camping gaz cooker in the atelier and the gas / electric oven and hob I bought from friends in March. That is also sited in the atelier.  The atelier is a well-ventilated workshop area (almost as cold as outside in the winter and thank goodness the last winter was deemed mild because I had to cook out there!).  It could easily be converted into a living room / kitchen with east and south facing conservatory, if ONLY IF! 

I've read on the internet that I must not use acidic juices (wine / vinegar) in cast ironware but that may mean 'not enamelled'.  My friend has left me two small frying pans .. one is unenamelled black which needs its surface to be regraded. One is orange whose outer blackened enamel needs to be cleaned up with caustic soda and then the black oiled again!
One should not use metals which could scratch the containers and occasional dishwasher usage is ok for the enamelled Le Creuset but not the bare cast iron!  Soaking the pots in soft soapy water is recommended but again ABSOLUTELY NOT the bare cast iron which needs to be wiped with oil after each usage. sometimes a quick hot water blanche is ok.

Here it comes... lalalalah!

.. . flames from the sun in June..
WE have had three days of high temperatures and a BLUE SKY! 
Out with winter - in with summer! 
Out with wet - in with dry.
Out with woodburners and in with alfresco eating!
Out with indoor tasks and in with gardening..
Sunday was a weather transition day and a rest from work day.
What is the meaning of the word "rest"?
A new route was discovered on an old railway track. Take the car across the departement border, park up, walk the lanes to arrive at a straightish track.   It can be walked or cycled ... involves some roads. More later!
After a two and a half hour walk I mowed one lawn for two hours... The next day the other lawn but the mower forced me to stop after an hour and a half.  The next day another hour and it was mostly finished but the wall and fence wildness needs taking control!  Grass cuttings were left as it was quicker.   The grass was getting too long!  I prefer to collect the mowings!  Then my legs became wobbly with that old known feeling that hasn't happened for a long while, so I stopped knowing a town drive and shop had to be achieved because the stock cupboard is low.  
I like to ensure that I have replacements for food and household stuffs. Hate running out of stock cupboard items. No one to borrow  cup of sugar from here, although the village shop is a blessing. When one goes to the town which is a 40 minute drive one has to do other tasks to also justify the journey! It can take hours.

Yesterday, eventually was KIND. It was so nice to be treated, to sit al fresco with a glass of red St Nicholas.  But the centre of that tow is so busy and noisy!
I never managed to get to the shop for  induction ironware   nor to the DIY store for electrical hanging lamp necessities!
Home and crash into bed at 8h30... having lost four hours sleep that morning.

The kitchen is being a pain for the man installing it.
One gets monkeys for peanuts and whilst design is a forte of IKEA,  especially packaging.. (they are BIG on cardboard, paper, plastic.  I intend to weigh it all, including the metal and plastic parts included in the packaging that we do not need)  they are hopeless in quality on other criteria!
Designed not to last!!!!!
Capitalism! Global waste!

The doors have fine hair line gaps so have to have 'the attention to detail' that my friend can give and the 'not yet in use tap' has a drip!  PLUS to my annoyance,  the sink hole is in the wrong position so when the tap movable spout pours water on the sink, water splashes and lies on the sink bed!!!!!!! GGGRRRR!!!!!!!

Ah... but it is beginning to look clean and tidy...
How it will work for someone who likes cooking will be  the test of time...

I have no time for reporting photos or other stories on the progress of this almost final stage of the six year french house renovation  on a budget.

When I can STOP working then maybe I shall get back to posting!

What really matters though is that to have had company here since early March has been good for my brain and emotions.  Again I have missed the cake club and other things ... because my friend here cannot stay and will not stay and maybe that is sad but reality!  I have also missed things because I have to get the kitchen installed. Even if I do not do the bulk of manual labour, I am on hand with the second pair of hands, to do as bid with holding this and that and to be consulted on this and that as well as making refreshments.

I could not have achieved the renovation work in this house without him and when he goes on his travels  I wonder if he will ever return..,for he will have done the last downstairs room and saved me thousands of l'argent!

I THANK HIM even though it has been six plus years of being separated.
The tears and heartache diminish over time as stress decreases!

Where are the flames of June?

Still a few weeks before midsummer,  and, still the woodburner brings warmth and cheerful light to a room indoors.
Rain......  media tells us of inondations in Paris... but equally here across the border... and even my own village the Rivers have risen and flooded roads, tracks, fields, houses, camping sites and more...
The River Anglin rose to a level flooding houses... and across the border, set back from the riverside chalets were awash with river water!  Le Gartempe burst its banks.

PHOTOS LATER

Emperor Moth*

* See below

FOUND: teeny ants had devoured its body!

I think it might be the female, but not being a lepidopterist, I am not wise. However, at my age,  I am proud that I remembered it's name and only consulted the infoGod to confirm and discover more knowledge.
http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/species/emperor-moth

various sites say 9cm to 11cm is BIG ... but this one exceeds those!!!!!!!

See comments below... EVIDENTLY this is a Giant Peacock Moth.

La grue d'Angles

Sunny Sunday

After a week of cold, wet rainy days necessitating a woodburner alight, either all day, or in the evening, with French doors not open, trying to keep the room warmer indoors than outside, the sun has shone on my village and me.  I feel gloom lifting.

I bought a standard rose in the plant and flower market. The latter needs to grow!  However,  my standard rose seems just the right height with its many buds.

I wanted one for the centre of the quadrant potager.  I have a vision of boxwood all around each section, yet, me thinks it's not a good idea, as box roots would penetrate and rob the veggie soil. Maybe,  at some time in the future,  plastic boarding. At the moment old chestnut beams form a border which encourages fungi to grow, whilst also being a haven for 'gendarme' beetles that like hollyhocks and old timber.
INTERLUDE
I still can't understand the tax boxes on the tax return forma. The recent advice from a reputable knowledgeable person with a vegetable alias says I am supposed to enter GROSS, whereas for the past ten years following the advice of the other Tax office I have declared  net because my pension is taxed at source, not in France.   WHY is there so much confusion when there must be many retired teachers in France!
RETURN TO SUBJECT
Back to gardening. I am waiting for ice cream to thaw a little to enjoy with stewed apples and pears. I mowed one lawn with the electric mower for almost two hours...including the wild areas where cowslips had been allowed to thrive and seed.   Plenty of wild areas left 'au bordure' ... nettles for butterflies and long grasses for grasshoppers.   BUT I DO like a neat lawn even if it is mainly clover, dandelions, daisies and other rooted things.  Mowed grass is spread as a mulch between roses and lavender, and in the box edged section which used to be a herb garden ... it was the first part I dug six years ago!  The garden has come on a lot since then.  Gardening brings me pleasure ... even though it is hard work.
After the ice cream, I wonder if I shall go to mow the other lawn 500 sq metres or more because I must go on a 5km walk tomorrow-a three hour group walk. Maybe I should mow that other plot with the petrol mower and get these legs a moving.     It is tempting to sit in La Place!!!!!!
Sunny Days are for living!
POSTSCRIPT
Yes, I did mow the other grass / lawn which took me an hour and a half.  I returned with a branch of snowy balls on a branch of shrub. 
As it was 7pm, I COULD allow myself to stop and sit in the evening warmth of my courtyard with a rare gin and tonic.  No ice!

Computer Technology

My OSX 10.6.8. has messages that tell that Firefox (I use) and Google Chrome ( I don't often use) will be, or are now, 'unsupported'.    HELP!
Does this mean that only Safari (which I rarely use) will be 'supported' or that too will be 'unsupported'.
Is this Apple's way of ensuring we buy, buy, buy?
 Wondering whether to continue the Apple route ..... 

I am worried about how I keep important poetry and written documents on my current laptop and photos, the latter of which are in three libraries of iphoto (created by The Apple store) and so I have such a big job to delete duplicates of sometimes 5 copies! 

Now, I know that my laptop MUST be replaced; slight hinge problem, has had a new battery, it is 8 + years old, and although new technology might be welcomed I was hoping to wait until next year before such an expenditure. 
The kitchen demanded last year's and this year's income and savings.
A newer vehicle, becoming a necessity, presents a dilemma whilst being resident in France when I don't ever get much time in UK to address this problem. I would prefer a RH drive vehicle.
Then there are some other personal issues I need to resolve with regard to finance. 

All that couple with UK and global issues plus ageing and feeling isolated though not always lonely, I am wondering how long I can manage here. 
Selling up and moving back seems to be too big an issue. 
I needed to be levered out of my last property in UK but that was because it was me, me , me except for the traffic and neighour issues.
Before that I needed courage to climb the property ladder and my friend gave me that courage.

Now is perhaps not the time to sell up.
I stilhave things to do and need to banish procrastination. Maybe once there is no more major renovation... ( I do have ideas!)  I will be able to open more boxes AND sell, give away, STUFF.

Meanwhile once that kitchen is IN, I look forwards to opening boxes of collected pottery and seeing what I wish to keep or pass to it's next owner!

The Kitchen: Where was I? Where am I? 5 of 5

The magic day arrived when we started to lay tiles not eggs!

YIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What a beautiful floor it is!!!!!!
With thanks on my bended knees in homage I thank my friend for sticking with me for the past six years.
I truly never thought I would ever see the kitchen make this moment!!!
I thought I would have given up but NO, I have stayed the course despite the trauma.
Tears pour out suddenly as I write this last sentence!
Looking back, seeing the distance, seeing the then and the now as daily I walk across that floor, I am in seventh heaven.  But I do come down to earth every minute of every day whilst considering thoughts and feelings about "what am I doing here?"  "what is my purpose?" etc.
The tears have stopped. That's how fast they arrive and disappear. Six  years ago I was crying all day!
A big sigh!

Well done him!  I am grateful that we are still friends and that we have a better understanding of each other. I THINK.
Life is so short.
I am tired of trauma, stress and being alone. I am tired of renovation but still have plans and thoughts for my house.   If only this.....and only that!!!
I

END OF UPDATE - It has taken me seven hours on Sunday 8th May in between gardening and domestics to writ, edit and complete these last five postings for scheduled publishing. 
It is evidently not as warm here as in England but yesterday was gloriously sunny. Warmth in any country, wherever we live makes all the difference to well-being!
Thank you.