A Visit from Little Jenny Wren

On a Sunday in July, I was working at the computer. THE WRETCHED  WILL of mother aged 90+ and all that she left me to do as Executrix, isn't much, but I decided I would serach for Truth even if it changed nothing.   I was so annoyed by what her husband * has done. It made the wishes of my mother's will a conundrum.  His actions in 2012 created a situation where the will has been superseded.   
Would it have made any difference if they told me in 2012. Well, at least I would have been able to discuss with my mother.... maybe not, just wishful thinking, as she never talked about anything to me .. especially in the last five years.. I always thought it was to do with me but now, I think she knew she had sold herself and given away her son's inheritance and was careful not to tell me.  
 
PLUS the unpleasantness of my aunt for I say I know not why but, WELL,  I DO !!! She, as second Executor was being manipulated by him * ....

Just as well perhaps as it would have been unmanageable by me and one other aged 83 to have managed the property for my brother with a disability and the husband to live in.  Mother knew we lived in N.Ireland and France. 
The solicitor knew that too as the will was written in 2009! 
Now they own it between them and to me and my sister zilch! 
I don't really care about the money. I care about honour and respect. For over forty years we had visited each other as family... does that not count for anything!!    

 

Troglodytes troglodytes came and stayed a while.  Four hours!  What was it doing not near a wood, orchard, hedgerow, heathland, farmland, sea cliff, mountain, but yes near gardens.  

 

For some time I kept thinking there was something with me in my large living room but couldn't identify what it was.  Only the kitchen door was open with its door to the courtyard open, where slept my cat and open was the door to the makeshift tumbledown built with recycled  materials atelier extension (now to do with me!) at the rear of the house which also has a door and with gaps in the walls to the garden.   
Then I saw a fluttering out of the corner of my eye and heard a small fluttering ( I believe I am slightly deaf! ) 

I guess it crept in from outside and did not fly in.   

I wondered why this little bird had come into MY house, which is now named Le Petit Oiseau.

I decided the bird was my reincarnated mother. So I talked to her!!!!!! Told her how I felt!!!!!

On the day she died,  I'd suggested to her that she could grow wings and fly away. 

I gave her permission after her 12 days in a coma from an ISCHAEMIC ATTACK ruining 80% of her brain. She was tenacious without food and drink, unable to speak or eat, unable to move.   Soon in a coma.  I suggested that her son who had lived with her for 69 years would be ok!   It's quite odd what one can say to a mother dying!  A mother who never spoke to me about anything, about adolescence, being an adult, life or relationships!  I stroked her and touched her as never had I done before. I sang to her.

The European Wren measures 9 to 10 cm long and weighs about 10 grams, the same as an old £1 coin!  It is described as an inconspicuous, secretive bird.

It eats spiders, insects and beetle larvae, which explains why the moist bread I put to tempt it to the open door was not considered and it kept pecking on the ground and under furniture. A few webs there and at one point I was horrified to see a web caught on it's wing.

I used to read about Celts and Native American Indians and symbolism from nature. Much has been forgotten.  I returned to ask the WWW about the symbolism of wrens.

Birds raise their young with care from both parents.  Some articles on the internet suggest that the wren is a symbol for sharing tasks in the home.  As I haven't got anyone to share with, maybe it was saying it is TIME to find someone!   The article I read suggested that the wren is a reminder to not get stuck in gender roles but to approach traditional roles with a modern innovative approach!  

H'm 

The busy wren symbolises activity, agility, vibrancy, alertness, fastidiousness, efficiency, determination, quick-wittedness, creativity. It is sociable and friendly, so we must keep a happy heart, be kind to others, be a free spirit, make progress each day to bring light heartedness to living!   

H'm

It is said that the delightful song of the wren inspired bards & poets and is a symbol of musical poetry, art and song.  Like many songbirds, the wren migrates.  It is content to flit from place to place .. it has shallow roots - hence  "home is where the heart is"  as it moves abode!   In this respect, the wren reminds us it is not the material items we gain, but the quality of relationships made along the way that enrich our lives. 

H'm

The wren's light flight is a message to branch out, to expand a circle of contacts, to step out of habitual patterns in life.   

H'm

The wren may be small but with  a powerful symbolic message.   

Maybe she came to encourage me to believe I am in a  realm of the "known" but with access to an adventure that awaits me! 

Indeed H'm!!!!!!

Mother, I have much to think about and indeed I had promised much of the promise of the little wren myself before you died BUT a whole year has been spent visiting England for your birthday September 15th.. and since then November when a cousin died and though frightened I came to see you unexpectedly and was in horror ... I should have stayed!!!!! ...I thought it might be the last time ... then two weeks later.. tragedy!   I am sorry I abandoned you!  I am sorry you are not here anymore.   I am.  I really am. I am sorry to abandon your son in the light of the fact that I live in France and he lives in England with your widowed husband 31 years  younger than you and 9 years younger than me!  Bloody hell!!!!!! MADNESS!

What a mess in the kitchen!

TODAY it was FUN of sorts!!!

Three batches of 2kg of harvested from the garden over many days. Red tomatoes were blanched in boiling hot water to remove the skins. Added to three large cloves of decent French garlic sautéed in olive oil.  PLUS into the redness lots of fresh basil leaves from the courtyard, from the previous house matured  ( ! ) red wine vinegar, Ile de Ré sea salt, ground black pepper, a spoonful of brown sugar,  heated high then simmered together...reduced until thick and a different colour.   Jar or freeze.

Each time it took about an hour!

2 kg of medium sized cougettes before they were too large to seed, peeled with the best vegetable peeler in the world from IKEA, ends chopped off, sliced into finger sized lengths, placed on a baking paper on the large trays of my Neff oven, the one where the door folds down and disappears  (Porte escamotable "Slide and Hide"),  drizzled with olive oil, salt and pepper and baked slowly.. When cooked and cold packed into a container for the freezer.

4kg large courgettes bordering on marrows. peeled, and inner seed pulp removed reduced to 2kg weight. Added 1.5kg sugar, juice from 4 Valencia juice oranges.  The skins and fruit of the oranges were cooked in a saucepan for at least an hour to soften.. All left over night.
Next day, simmer the marrow and sugar, with added sliced thinly cooked orange rind for as long as it takes to change colour and reduce liquids, then rapidly boil.  Stir often. Towards the end add some sliced crystallized ginger, or suspend in the pan at the beginning some fresh grated ginger.  Taste and see. 

About a week ago I was gifted plums so I made yum plum jam!

In  between i picked more courgettes and more tomatoes... and worried like HELL about my daughter and grand daughter and LIFE and  LOVE discovered and LOVE LOST and men and women and relationships  and how suddenly some days women or men start being unkind to the very person they were in love with.........Why does that happen?

In  between I look at the UK and world news and someone's TWITTER page and wonder why so many people detest and hate each other and why do people wind each other up about faith, religion, politics, etc etc etc etc etc etc and it brings me down to my knees sobbing my heart out!

I swept the courtyard and rearranged the garden pots.. Must weed the white stones tomorrow and then there is more cleaning of the cuisine and the arrière cuisine and vaccing and paperwork to organise yet again.

It all got muddled at the TAX OFFICE when the man who was angry with me for complaining insisted it was my fault !!!  I was wrong - they were right. Eventually, he thought there was an error on their part. He produces=d a new blue form, filled in my pensions in certain  boxes. Bring it back on Monday filled in!!!!!!!!  Gosh, I am grateful!   With any luck I might get  income tax reduced... They wanted 600 plus euros this year and I am not the only English person with a huge demand!!!!! Others have had huge increases!   Last year they repaid me almost 100 euros!  WHY?   The year before that 370e and the year before that 335e and the year before that 51 euros... it does not make sense!!!!!!!! 
This year they changed the forms and the boxes we have to fill... NO - state pension is not a private pens=sion. The French insist it is.. I had this several years ago when I was first privileged to receive my State Pension.
This year the man who started to be hostile was asked by me not to be angry with me.. He then was polite and at the end we were both empathetic as he heard a little of my story.  He two lived alone and said it was preferable to living with someone where there was pain and unkindness!!!!!!  He was so kind, gentle and warm at the end that I wished almost to hug him!!!!!!!

After the struggle to be in the kitchen when there is so much else to do I had a happy day. My hands are stripped of the oils by the marrow ... quite I am happy at the close of day.

 Tomorrow is another day!

Creativity

I was thinking that I ought to start writing again!