Would it have made any difference if they told me in 2012. Well, at least I would have been able to discuss with my mother.... maybe not, just wishful thinking, as she never talked about anything to me .. especially in the last five years.. I always thought it was to do with me but now, I think she knew she had sold herself and given away her son's inheritance and was careful not to tell me.
PLUS the unpleasantness of my aunt for I say I know not why but, WELL, I DO !!! She, as second Executor was being manipulated by him * ....
Just as well perhaps as it would have been unmanageable by me and one other aged 83 to have managed the property for my brother with a disability and the husband to live in. Mother knew we lived in N.Ireland and France.
The solicitor knew that too as the will was written in 2009!
Now they own it between them and to me and my sister zilch!
I don't really care about the money. I care about honour and respect. For over forty years we had visited each other as family... does that not count for anything!!
Troglodytes troglodytes came and stayed a while. Four hours! What was it doing not near a wood, orchard, hedgerow, heathland, farmland, sea cliff, mountain, but yes near gardens.
For some time I kept thinking there was something with me in my large living room but couldn't identify what it was. Only the kitchen door was open with its door to the courtyard open, where slept my cat and open was the door to the makeshift tumbledown built with recycled materials atelier extension (now to do with me!) at the rear of the house which also has a door and with gaps in the walls to the garden.
Then I saw a fluttering out of the corner of my eye and heard a small fluttering ( I believe I am slightly deaf! )
I guess it crept in from outside and did not fly in.
I wondered why this little bird had come into MY house, which is now named Le Petit Oiseau.
On the day she died, I'd suggested to her that she could grow wings and fly away.
I gave her permission after her 12 days in a coma from an ISCHAEMIC ATTACK ruining 80% of her brain. She was tenacious without food and drink, unable to speak or eat, unable to move. Soon in a coma. I suggested that her son who had lived with her for 69 years would be ok! It's quite odd what one can say to a mother dying! A mother who never spoke to me about anything, about adolescence, being an adult, life or relationships! I stroked her and touched her as never had I done before. I sang to her.
The European Wren measures 9 to 10 cm long and weighs about 10 grams, the same as an old £1 coin! It is described as an inconspicuous, secretive bird.
I used to read about Celts and Native American Indians and symbolism from nature. Much has been forgotten. I returned to ask the WWW about the symbolism of wrens.
Birds raise their young with care from both parents. Some articles on the internet suggest that the wren is a symbol for sharing tasks in the home. As I haven't got anyone to share with, maybe it was saying it is TIME to find someone! The article I read suggested that the wren is a reminder to not get stuck in gender roles but to approach traditional roles with a modern innovative approach!
The busy wren symbolises activity, agility, vibrancy, alertness, fastidiousness, efficiency, determination, quick-wittedness, creativity. It is sociable and friendly, so we must keep a happy heart, be kind to others, be a free spirit, make progress each day to bring light heartedness to living!
It is said that the delightful song of the wren inspired bards & poets and is a symbol of musical poetry, art and song. Like many songbirds, the wren migrates. It is content to flit from place to place .. it has shallow roots - hence "home is where the heart is" as it moves abode! In this respect, the wren reminds us it is not the material items we gain, but the quality of relationships made along the way that enrich our lives.
The wren's light flight is a message to branch out, to expand a circle of contacts, to step out of habitual patterns in life.
The wren may be small but with a powerful symbolic message.
Maybe she came to encourage me to believe I am in a realm of the "known" but with access to an adventure that awaits me!
Mother, I have much to think about and indeed I had promised much of the promise of the little wren myself before you died BUT a whole year has been spent visiting England for your birthday September 15th.. and since then November when a cousin died and though frightened I came to see you unexpectedly and was in horror ... I should have stayed!!!!! ...I thought it might be the last time ... then two weeks later.. tragedy! I am sorry I abandoned you! I am sorry you are not here anymore. I am. I really am. I am sorry to abandon your son in the light of the fact that I live in France and he lives in England with your widowed husband 31 years younger than you and 9 years younger than me! Bloody hell!!!!!! MADNESS!