Welcome to Year 2012

From September 2011, describing as delicately as possible, the changes in life

when previously shedded tears, over years,

moved frustration into an unperceived scenario,
for I had been an adult but not grown up,
I had been childish instead of childlike
and so contributed to the drama.

I tried to understand my inner self, and the inner being of another

and all that went right and all that went wrong.

In a simplistic and naive fashion,
I had over-expectations.
The pain when there should have been joy
wasted emotional energies and time
BUT

....all things come to pass....

.....wherever there is a Hello, there is a Goodbye....

.....when one door closes another opens....

....every cloud has a silver lining....

....my glass is half full, not half empty....

....I am a lucky woman and still have precious life...

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
As I can't make sense of any of it,
 LIVING
must be got on with to re-discover the joy and happiness in ourselves.

I count myself privileged in that my friend is still a friend,

and other Friends including my Family
have attempted to understand my reasoning.

Though they are few, 

they are good, decent, honourable people

whom I truly value.

I count my self privileged because I meet 

wonderful people in the world.

 I learn a little something from everyone if I open my eyes and ears

and I thank those who persist in reading my literary efforts. 

There are things I wish to do and improve 

whilst fighting hard to instil motivation in my soul. 

Perhaps it has something to do with 

winter,
having bought this house,

not having a bathroom, 

having French shutters closed against the cold and not letting in the light,
living in a village where the shutters closed, one knows not who is there,

my age,
not being 100% well,
being potentially lazy,
THINKING too much,

or absolute emotional exhaustion experienced,

 and have been paying for,
for a long time

causing the current message:
take advantage of winter, hibernate and sleep.
YET
I still know how to laugh on many a day and moment
even if the tears arrive before the laughter.

Despite knocks, setbacks, and barb-wired fences to jump
I know it'll be alright and 

I'M GOING TO TURN IT AROUND.

I wish to meet new people, see places, do things I haven't done,

fulfil the promise of more than seven years ago 

and whilst some has come true 

it is my belief that I am
RestlessinFrance
and
RestlesswhereverIam

because I need to travel,

like my ancestral forebears travelled.

However, challenges have to be completed

and so my NEW YEAR MESSAGE, even for my inner self, is:

JUST DO IT!

With love 

from whoever I am

to whoever you are

wherever you may be.

Whatever you do, and wherever you are, enjoy being who you are, with whoever you are with, even if it is your very self, life is truth itself.

To add for good measure 

I stole some words from Caroline. 

I know her not but her sentiment seems to have become a mantra for me.

"A home is where a heart is and my heart is in France as well as near the sea and the East Anglian coast. When I love two or more places, I can enjoy being wherever I am, and when I go from one place to the other I can always look forward to going home!"

 I hope to find my goal by loving so that new doors will open and let in the dream.

May your dreams and wishes become truth.