In memory of a father

Nineteen years ago my father died as a result of a traffic accident in Spain where he lived:
This poem and the following hymn came to me on the day of his funeral. I read and sang impromptu at his funeral where there was no other family member apart from myself and daughter:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye

HYMN
Peace is flowing like a river,
Flowing out through you and me;
Flowing out into the desert,
Setting all the captives free.

with extra verses beginning with: 
Joy is flowing like a river, ...
Faith is flowing like a river, ...
Hope is flowing like a river, ...
Love is flowing like a river, ...

It was a significant moment in my life.
My sister chose not to come to Spain as planned, did not share the inheritance and terminated all contact with me.  So my niece and nephew were deprived of growing up with their cousins. Shame!
I often wonder if I will ever see her again and much more.

Glow worm

I saw one of these tonight and poked it gently.  It did not move but kept shining its little light on the steps up from the chateau to the High town. I've never seen one this close before!
With thanks to Wikipedia as I did not have my camera with me!!!!!! It is a female Common Glowworm (Lampyris noctiluca.)

On my crepuscular walk, I gained one lettuce, borrowed a DVD about the Magdalennian caves (it won't read on my Mac) discovered information.....heard one lady complaining that it was too hot!!!!!!!!!!!       non non non j'ai dit
I absolutely LOVE THIS weather!!!!!!!!! It is in my Mediterranean blood!

Uncertainty, Insecurity and their opposites

Ten a.m. there is a slight movement of air, although yesterday, being so hot and still, I was Restlessinthehammock at Siesta time.  Paintwork should not be done in above 30C temperatures so I had to abandon exterior door painting, that to give me credit, I had with difficulty started as promised to my inner core!

Listening to a friend's telephone call in the afternoon made 'questionable thinking' recommence. I found this quote:   “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos
 
Nine thirty p.m.  despite the short 'orage' mid afternoon with not much wet stuff it is 26C outdoors. I am still painting between words!

The quote is apt! 
I certainly DO feel uncertain about many things.

I have no idea of what could ever be a certainty, except death.
It is true that the only security and certainty I really have is that I am alive at this current moment, and that by past standards I am really ever so happy!!!!!!!  With a roof over my head, food in the cupboard, a moving vehicle ( just!), good physical health, healthy and happy family and friends, I count my blessings!
However, I DO live with feelings of insecurity.  Yet, I find security in small things, in small moments of time which give a kind of freedom rather than imprisonment! For example:

• When THE ROLLING STONES strut their stuff to give me music I love even though I can't or don't hear / understand the words......
• When I can afford to go to a classical concert and listen to the prowess of professional musicians I am in awe.  
• When I remember LOVE, Romance, Pregnancy and Parenting ... though absent and occasional grandparenting is a different kettle of fish....... 
• When I enjoy living alone, I do what I want when I want and be who I am.  I can  forgive my weaknesses and praise my strengths. (Insecurity arises soemtimes if I think and wish for A. N. Other.)
• When I celebrate my age!
• When I sleep in my comfortable bed!
• When I walk or cycle in the great outdoors.
• When I marvel at tiny insects, beautiful flowers and wonders of this world.
• When many other things..............

Don't you wish you were here....

Crossing hours ..... here in France it is almost half past midnight when in UK it is half an hour before midnight. Equally, I am sure, there is a full moon!
The temperature outside is 25C and indoors 26C.
We are in a heatwave. The definition of the French canicule in English is:

A heatwave is a period of intense heat during the summer.  It comes from the Latin 'canicula' meaning little bitch or dog... and so we get dog tired or dogged by the weather.   It usually occurs when the difference in temperatures between day and night is weakened for at least 72 consecutive hours.  The heat accumulates faster than it is discharged by  convection or radiation.  The temperature does not drop below 20 ° C at night, and reaches or exceeds 30 ° C during the day, especially since the phenomenon of a heatwave can lasts several days or weeks.

I remember the canicule in France in 2003.... I'd been to Carcassone and Cahors. The scenery was bizarre as all the trees suffering from drought were drained of the colour green. It was as if I was standing within a sepia photograph.
Personally, I love these temperatures. When it is consistently this hot and hotter I like to wake very early, do jobs, sleep a siesta after a light lunch, wake, do jobs or relax and enjoy the SUMMER.
It's healthy and good for vitamin D. However, one must drink plenty of liquid even if not thirsty, (and I don't mean alcohol) during the day to avoid dehydration and keep out of the intense sun to avoid heatstroke. Wear a hat!
I like to have plenty of showers or baths ... saving water in the bath and topping it up with hot water.  And I am ecologically minded. When there is a drought I pail the water into buckets for the plants!

Temperature Update:  8am 27C indoors 23C courtyard

Sussex

 

I've walked before several times from Seaford where a cousin lives to Beachy Head along the coast.
Not being able to stay with relations I chose to stay for three nights at the new YHA at Southease.  It was excellent value but one has to share a dorm with 5 others. Ironically the German and French young ladies were more sociable than the Brits, not counting myself of course!
On the first day, a sea mist day, I walked from Southease to almost Beachy Head, then caught a bus as it was raining and without a map walked the dangerous main road from Newhaven to Southease, not thinking sensibly that there was a road to the Southease village.  I was impatient to keep moving so did not want to wait for the train as that seemed the easy way!  In all I walked for 8 hours, getting slower as I went!