Friday, 9 May 2014

A Ticket to Ride???

In my dream of two mornings ago ...
I had been trying to book a bus ticket to visit my maternal grandmother.  In my dream I was an adolescent because I was trying to explain at which STOP to which I needed a ticket for the return journey.  In fact, in the dream I had revisited the actual school route that I used 50 years ago as well as the parade of shops before one reached the school entrance.  The return bus had to stop near the cross roads at traffic lights. I would alight, turn left, walk to the next bus stop to take me home.
In the dream I was wishing to go TO my grandmother's house but hadn't yet got the ticket!
In the dream I was outside 'an office' to buy the ticket... my large handbag with two handles was overflowing with dangling jewellery including beaded, faceted glass crystals as those in a chandelier. Whilst I walked along, I was aware of the brilliant sparkles that they produced and aware not to lose them!

I think the dream was to do with being aware of self-abandonment and how in life I have always tried to please people and be "just the ticket" for everyone... I feel as if I can't carry on like that anymore, even though I love helping others!

However, difficult the challenges continue to be I just mustn't coast,  day by day,  DOING and Retreating from A Sense of Purpose. In the last four years I have been WAITING to find energy, time, etcetera to gather courage to cash in savings and now I think I must not wait any longer as I need to get the kitchen, house, small travel vehicle and dreams sorted.  I have to go it alone. I have to face the fears.
I do so admire the perceived foolishness and madness of my previous partner who has sold up, disposed of most stuff, reverted to how he was when I first met him!!!!!!!!!
Have I become like him when we once lived together in the old stone property by inheriting useful stuff?
I have very recently been thinking that if I were to have an almost maintenance free modern house like I used to have when single parenting, and where I became bored when they left home,  it would perhaps be different and I would escape to travel.....I wonder where a ticket would take me!    :)D    HELP!!!









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