Normality resumes

The walls, floor and hearth, rigid chimney pipes, and woodburner have all been cleaned of nasty streaks of goudrons. The woodburner has been re-installed but cannot be tested until we have colder weather and here we are in a March heatwave!  I took advantage and re-oiled the oak flooring.  It is recommended to be done once the floor is laid (unknown before now!) and then every year, depending on traffic. It looks beautiful as well as being 'un oeuvre d'art' and so my friend is happy.  I will be happier when I know there are no more problems!!!!!!
As the content of the rooms was emptied into the courtyard filled with sunshine, I decided to polish furniture and freshen upholstery using a cleaning product called 2001!  It's magically gentle on the fabric. Everything is back in place and ready for visitors again!  I am shattered.

LANGUAGE:

goudrons = creosote/wood tar/bituminous liquid

une oeuvre d'art = work a piece of art

main d'oeuvre = manpower /labour
hors d'oeuvre = a starter
être à l'œuvre = to be at work
se mettre à l'œuvre = to do some work
mettre en œuvre = to implement a plan or a project
la mise en œuvre de quelquechose = the implementation of something
les œuvres complètes = the complete works of a writer, etc
des bonnes œuvres = good deeds

JS Bach

Until now I had never heard an uninterrupted performance of 24 Preludes and Fugues Book 2 by JS Bach.  I listened to the performer whilst following my Urtext keyboard score.  Again this was something I had never done before.   It was a good exercise and prevented me from falling asleep as it kept my mind alert. Music can be soporific.
For 20 euros, including a bowl of soup and a glass of wine served during the 30 minute interval, it was stunningly good value.  The level of pianistic concentration required was enormous and it was evident that the pianist/harpsichordist was tired when he made a few mistakes towards the end.  Yet, he managed an encore.  He had played for 3 hours!  However, I forgave him because I know how fiendishly difficult these pieces are, even though they sound so simple, delicate and beautiful.   The pianist had been to this venue two years ago and although he performed a lot last year he said that this year would be easier.  He also taught at a Conservatoire.  Oh, how I need to practise!

Mathematics

Vocabulary for Volume
One stère is equal to one cubic metre.
The derivation is from  Greek στερεός stereos which means 'solid'.
Evidently, in 1793 France began to use this terminology as a metric equivalent to the cord which is used in Canada and USA.  A cord is equivalent to 3.62 m³. I can't understand that,  so ... we'll keep with the stère (pronounced stair) which is used for measuring large quantities of firewood or other cut wood, whilst the cubic metre is used for uncut wood.


Although my woodburner is still in use, mainly for mornings and evenings, or if the weather becomes more humid, I thought I would record the quantity of logs that I have burned since the Autumn when I began with 10 stères.  Now I have about 2½ stères in store so I have burned 7½ stères.
One stère cost me about 43 euros.  
43 x 7 = 301 + 22. 
Therefore, winter fuel has cost me about 323 euros. But wait!
Divide by 6 months = 53.8 euros per month, which is about 13.50 euros per week or 1.80 euros per day.
For budgetary purposes, it makes an average for the year of 26.90 euros per month or 6.72 per week or about 1 euro per day!
Add the cost of woodburner glass cleaner products, firelighters, matches, as well as the log splitter (a 200 euros investment that does a job I would not be able to do otherwise!)  Kindling wood has been free.  I inherited a lot of old wood but most of it needs to be sawn so I will have to pay someone to do that.  I also add the cost of a monthly newspaper I subscribe to as it is used for the fire once read!
Of course, it was a relatively mild winter apart from the 3 weeks of THEBIGFREEZE so the calculations cannot be applied to any other year.  As reported earlier it was not warm outside and not warm in my house!  I do NOT have central heating!  Me THINKS...I need to budget in the cost of the electricity bill  as there were many occasions especially in THEBIGFREEZE when I just had to get some extra warmth from a free-standing radiator,  even though I was wearing a coat, hat and scarves for most of the day and night!!!!!!

These figures indicate that I could order 10 stères for next winter but it would be better if I were to order 15 stères,  as I hope to run two woodburners in my L-shaped house next winter, and IF I am brave enough to give WinterinFrance another go I could burn more and be warmer at not much greater a cost. I was cautious and careful this year.  However, it may well be the case that my new source of oak logs will be more expensive and oh if the pensionable income goes down  a re-think may have to be made.  The beauty is that logs not burnt in any winter can be stored until the following winter.
At least, for me it has has been an interesting mathematical exercise!  

20 degrees

It's midnight in France the first day of "The Spring forward clock trick" when we lost an hour. Sunshine and blue blue skies all day with a small breeze but chilly for me by 6pm ish so I lit the fire about 8pm and now it is 20 degrees celsius in my 40m salle de sejour WITH the kitchen door open. This seems like luxury compared to the winter temperatures when 14 degrees celsius was the max!

Water of Life - drought and death - In Memoriam

My water pump was returned so that I could extract rainwater from my cistern to flood the young hedging plants that have died or almost died as a result of frost/ice/snow burning the leaves.  There has been a drought after the snow melt.  My mimosa is a sorry sight to behold, now that I have removed the plant frost protection wrapping  Most of the leaves have fallen and near the base are just a few showing signs of green.  It was expensive and should have been in flower (it later died completely).

The lawns have been mowed with the ailing mower.... and I have had to push it all the way as the traction has gone and when it was collected this morning I was told that it cannot be repaired!!!!! OUCH, it is as I feared.   So now I have to purchase a new one. I definitely cannot push it for the large amount of grass that needs to be cut.  Last year it required cutting every 3 weeks.

It's been a  beautiful warm and sunny day - a joy to feel alive.  Sweaty and dirty having not had a shower / bath for 8 days I risked an outdoor shower using the hosepipe.  Last year, it was a wonderful outdoor experience... and really no one can see!!!!!!   Last summer the water was warm/hot for about 3 minutes. Today it was hardly warm but not yet cold. The jet, fierce and invigorating, made me laugh to get the shower finished, knowing that a friend was painting a wall and would not espy me!  My brain feels so much better now!

Yesterday brought very sad news. 

I learned that Lesley had died on March 6th from terminal lung cancer.   She had battled valiantly and so too had her courageous adult children for about a year.   I cried and cried.
I also learned that another friend from my village had a heart bypass on the same day and that her former husband died the day after.  It was a tearful yesterday.

A chance encounter

I was on my way to town when I noticed a vehicle not well parked on the country lane.  Soon afterwards, I drove past a couple walking towards the town on the wrong side of the road. I tutted and tutted again when in my mirror I saw they were carrying a baby.  Putting two and two together I reversed my car to see if they required a lift. Their car had oil problems. They said we could speak English but eventually we reverted to French. I dropped them in the centre of the town as requested and proceeded to my medical appointment.  Parking the car I noticed two bags the same colour on the back seat: oh dear! I returned but could not find the family so hoped that they would come to where they knew I had an appointment. And they did! There they were when I'd finished my appointment. Such relief! I would have hated to look in the bag for evidence of who they were and where they lived.  Their house keys were in the bag! Charmingly, they invited me to eat "pie".  I accepted graciously and interpreted this as "tea and cake" which it was!  They took me to their home; well, I drove them home, for it was quite a walk uphill, but not far. They served Romanian pumpkin pie and herbal tea.  He, a medical practitioner and she with a 7 month baby boy told me how in last year's move and pregnancy she could not take her final exam which she hopes to take this year.  Such a wonderfully happy family, attractive in appearance and manner.  The bubbly, young lady was amused by her explanation of the circumstances that had brought about this chance encounter. We shared laughter when the child heard the name of a cat and looked for it and liked to have his feet tickled! We shared stories about lost items and the honesty of people in this region. They've lived in a variety of places in France and like me they are immigrants to France.  I learned that "cité" has not always the same definition as "city", a large town, but that it really DOES also mean an agglomeration or housing estate.  Up until now I'd always thought it was a disparaging, descriptive joke about suburban social housing estates popping up around the edges of towns and villages.  After an hour it was time to leave and I decided to throw caution to the wind and share my address.

They showed me a minute, amber bracelet for the baby to wear to help protect against teething troubles! I showed off my amber ear-rings and said that my teeth were good!  I'm not sure that I believe stones can heal but a long time ago a friend of mind really believed this and had many huge valuable crystals and stones about the house!  Sadly, her obsessions brought her tragedy. Every April 1st and sometimes in between she is remembered.

More musical nostalgia + a sign of Spring!

Disregard the intro:

 1978 - The year my beautiful daughter was born!

The wonderful COWSLIP was seen at a crossroads.  Such excitement!!!!!!!!

Feelings of Contentment

as I listen to cello music

 

Oh how I would have loved my son to have continued to play the cello beyond Grade 5 and myself to have even started.  The violincello is such an exquisite instrument when played sensitively. I fell in love with this instrument as did I fall in love with Jacqueline du Pré playing Elgar's Cello Concerto.

 It makes me cry, and laugh, at the same time with such yearning for I know not what.

Diversionary Thinking

I struggled to move. Thinking was all I could do!

Where is inspiration?

Where is energy?

Where is diversion but not avoidance? 

Where is action but not reaction?

Where is forwards and onwards?

Where is creativity?

Where is motivation?

When the mind whispers insistently, subtly, softly stay in bed and not move

When the back screams sharp acute pain to keep still

When mental argument ensues because

the body has to be warm

the body has to put logs on a fire

the body has to put hot water in a rubber bottle

the body has automatic functions relating to food and drink

It cannot just lie prone when it is tired or lazy or in pain.

The mind and the body have a hidden agenda; they meet.

The mind and body argue but my ear cannot hear their silent dispute
The mind takes control and makes the body pause to rest

The mind takes control and makes the body move to act
The body takes the mind into control and keeps it working

For life never stops, until it stops, and does not breathe.

The mind and the body are the inspiration for the automatic next step 

of whatever it is that needs to be done for as long as life survives

They do what needs to be done.

They take hold and control decisions if one waits sufficiently long.

They move limbs forwards and onward.s

They are energy making energy.

They create order out of chaos.

They motivate and react to make action.

They address what is avoided

The diversions arrive.

There has to be mobility of mind and body.

All this happens if one lies still, quietly alone for sufficiently long without interruption.

The mind decides when it is time to sleep or to wake, to read or to ponder, to drink or to eat, to listen to music, to create, to shower or to bathe, to go out, stay indoors, to contact another or keep alone, to laugh or to cry, to sing or  reflect, to pull up the weeds, to plant a bulb, to dig the earth, to contact the soil for which we owe a life.

The mind controls the body in everything we do, think or say.

It is automatic.

It is such beauty.

It happens without any effort on our part.
See. 
Wait.

Down to the floor again and again,
whether I am in the shower or wherever I am
with unwanted thoughts, sometimes no thought at all.

Then without anyone's help I notice I pick myself up, bounce back, get moving.

The screaming back and the screaming mind quieten and eventually remain silent for a while.

They have not won.

The thoughtful negative mind eventually finds strength to become positive.
A smile creeps in.
Always it is so.
HOPE on the horizon begins to shine like the sun.
The mind allows contentment to return

The mind allows body movement to lift up from the horizontal

to stand vertical to face the world
to win against adversity
until winning cannot lose and loss succumbs to another world.

How fascinating to see and to wait.

How wonderful to know that pain is inconstant and moves away.
How grateful to know that NOW is not the time to not move and NOW is not the time to not think.
Life thankfully continues. 

Cranes - a sound of springtime to behold

I had just returned to VdV with my friend's washing ... he still has no water in the kitchen on account of the freeze and has to do some plumbing... and honk honk, honk honk, ... 20 cranes in the sky... some stragglers and then one all alone neck outstretched "Wait for me " he calls.  The flock returned for him and then veered sharply to collect others and then there were 27........... WOW and WOW and WOW. Spring has arrived!!!!!!!!! Oh JOY!

I should not be still awake as it is now morning of the next day!

The woodburner is dismantled

Hohoho... the chimney does not bring Santa nor chaleur (warmth)
In fact, I was not prepared for reparation work today. I understood that the proprietor was coming to view the problem and discuss the proposed "modification" BUT... I had to say "STOP, STOP, STOP" (that is FRENCH for arrête! ) and tell the young man to slow down!!!!! He had already trodden on the hearth into the gunge and was about to spread this on my oak floor!!!!!!! Oh MY!
So I went in haste for sheets of cardboard, and my friend went in haste for sheets of chipboard and I returned to find that they were uninstalling the woodburner. 
First, I rushed to clean the gungy, glass hearth with warm water and a cloth.  We had to tell them repeatedly to slide cardboard under the legs of the woodburner as they edged it forwards off the 8mm thick glass onto a sheet of chipboard.  I emphasised how much it cost, as they later moved it out of position; it is very heavy.  By then they had already removed the rigid steel tubes after I had pointed to the dribbles on the exterior and how this gunge went into the next tube.
So it seems that one of the problems since May has been that:
They have flouted the clear instructions in the woodburner manufacturer's installation instruction manual. I have a copy. The installers had not installed the correct "raccord" which transforms the female into a male which is then inserted into the female part of the next tube.    
All male ends should point down into the female ends.  The sexual comparisons have all been aired and shared!!!!!!
I had to stop them rushing about and explain what I knew about the evaporation and condensation of gases and liquids from burning any fuel carburant and in this case burning 3 yr old seasoned oak logs.  I spoke about the height of the chimney and that the flue liner is not protected against keeping the flue hot as it gets further from the source of the heat and that perhaps it is cooling too quickly because there is no vermiculite surrounding it.  He said it wasn't essential but if it's what I want, it could be arranged.  He said that of course it is my responsibility to pay for that whether he did it in the first place or if I have it done now.  I have always known and accepted that.  He agreed that he was at fault and many times apologised.  I too am sorry .. for him, but more for me and my friend for all the stress that this palava has caused and most importantly for the time and energy that the damage has absorbed and prevented us from getting on with bathroom and other work.  As the young man said they installed many woodburners and told us this was the only problem. Frankly, I do not believe that mine has been the only problem.  That would be too unique!  I've counted 7 incidents / problems of their making, during the course of having employed this company.

It looks as if the water and creosote stain will be removed from the oak relatively easily but it has highlighted the need to oil the wood every year.   None of the installation information discussed after-care. Once the solid oak flooring was laid it should have been further oiled with the correct product and polished!  If you need a solid oak floor speak to me!  You will need more than the engineered oak lengths.  The beauty of the finished oak floor relies on preparation of the surfaces beneath it and the way in which the oak planks are fitted together, be they nailed or screwed.
I am trying to discover which oil was initially used and have discovered a company that sells a maintenance kit of soaps and oils specially for oak flooring.
Eventually, after using Acetone, it was the woodburner glass cleaner which moved the sticky tar from the skirting board which will then need to be sanded in situ and repainted.
It also moved the gunge off the plasterboard wall. The bubbled plasterboard has been scraped off still leaving brown stained plaster.  So we shall seal it with B-I-N, refill, sand, seal with B-I-N, paint and sand and paint and sand and hopefully the colour of the paint in the tin will match that paint on the wall.
I've vacuumed all the ash from the woodburner, cleaned the glass window and tried to remove most of the gunged-on resin from the enamelled edges within the woodburner, cleaned the rigid tubes, and cleaned the glass hearth. Everything is now ready for the extra raccord ... but I am waiting for more advice.

The installers will be allowed back to finish the repairs:
NOTE: all male ends should be pointing downwards and all female parts should be pointing upwards .... the vessels need to receive any discharge that falls!

My friend suggested we asked for further compensation that what was offered but in France this is not done! The fact of the matter is that there has been incompetence or negligence.  Yes, he was not as expensive as some companies I was most interested in the style of woodburners that he was promoting.  He was a brand new 'entreprise' and wanted to establish business. This year 50% of my rooms have not been used because of the damage.

Never mind.. I am sure it will all work out nicely in the end... and life is just for challenges! 

Ice and Frost

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17102918

When I go to this link to look at the ice that is breaking up on the Danube in Serbia it makes me feel so lucky that here in France we only experienced the tip of the iceberg!
Boats, businesses, leisure opportunities, people, animals, damaged, devastated, died, survived...and now the cost!
It's amazingly hostile and terrible, yet so beautiful and wonderful.
Nature has a way of making us come to terms with the earth we live upon.

Daffodils frozen in time are still in flower under bubble wrap.
Today, they breathed as they raised their tiny, yellow faces towards the clear, sky-blue sky in the warm sunshine.
But I put them to bed again as another night of frost is forecast.
Daffodils at the bottom of the page of this link.

Recovery

It's good to know I can bounce back more quickly these days.  Springtime is screaming to get me more fit and the winter weight shrieks to be shed. So it's avocado pears, conference pears, a wee portion of goat cheese and Nairn's oat biscuits that is loving and plenty.  Tired of winter fuel, snow, ice, sub-zero temperatures and the Michelin-woman effect of clothing even though it has been fun and challenging.   Longing for summer frocks and freedom, bike rides and speedy walks unhampered.  Yearning to have a working bathroom. Desiring bubbles for my very own French salle de bain.
I made my computer take a break. Two successful days of abstinence were achieved but I needed to word-process and translate into French an important document that needs to be printed in duplicate.  My fingers had a rest from typing.  There is the worry that arthritis or rheumatism is creeping in and causing horror.  Needing an ambiance to play the piano and accordion.  It is the least of my problems and less of a problem than many of my age, younger or older have to contend with. We must be grateful for good health when we have it.  It is a gift.

Struggling today

It's a different kind of struggle today
when although external temperatures have raised to +4C
it is incredibly cold in the house.
I can't seem to get the woodburner to chuck out heat.
I can't seem to get me to move around.
I can't seem to get me to do the admin work that is screaming to get completed.
I can't seem to get my mind onto what needs to be done.
I can't seem to stop myself wasting time sleeping, sitting and thinking.
I'm hunkered down.
It's winter.
I am displeased.

Having a laugh

having a bath!

Iced icicle - the pointing hand

An icicle grows: Click on a photo to enlarge.

The long arm

The Pointed Fingers on the Hand of the Arm.

Transmutation again.

And look how the heavy hanging arm has dragged the guttering down!

It was 130cm long before it grounded itself in the thaw of 13th February. Lucky for some that no one was beneath it.

Iced Water

Firstly photos of the river frozen: Click on a photo to enlarge.

 A rare view of an ice laden river below the chateau.

It's Saturday and I peel myself out of my warm, warm, bed.

I peel myself out of my warm, warm, bed.
Some may think it terrible but I think it was necessary to go to bed with clothes on, apart from my denim workday jeans and coat.  My hat soon fell off as I lay in bed with my head on the pillow reading horizontally and sideways, reading glasses being pushed off by the pillow.  Hunkered down with an ikea soft muslin-type shawl around my shoulders (the shawl is probably for a baby or child).  I am like that now as I need to be warm and loved in the cold and yet I can love myself when I am warm.  I laugh out loud. I am happy even though conditions are extreme.

This morning I peel myself out of my warm, warm bed.
Not so much shiver but feel the BLAST of cold air as I lift up the edges of the three duvets... I shall go and check these out for tog ratings ...normally the two is sufficient!   
{I think that the use of is, is better than the use of are but I am ready to stand corrected}
I feel the blast and snuggle down, check the clock of which the alarm rang 45 minutes ago.
Now to get up, for a friend is coming to help make a bathroom!
I stand at the side of my bed and an expletive emanates forth from my person.
I jump.  Star jumps.

I have peeled myself from the warm warm bed.
Get the coat on first, and light the fire. I chuckle.  How ridiculous is life!
A huge log has not even burnt in half.  Maybe I left the dampers open and yet one would have thought the log would have burnt through. The glass is relatively clean but I clean it anyway with newspaper and white vinegar, rake the ashes and leave most on the waffle bed, sprinkle with waste paper and kindling wood in a teepee fashion, replace the huge oak log which I temporarily and dangerously removed ..it was cold to the finger touch.. but as the air reached the underneath up-turned,  it was becoming to gently breathe in air and exhale smoke.  Now, all is in place as I push the door to, and whoosh the flames go, for the draft of the air has caused combustion from the heat in the cinders to the paper to the kindling sticks and to the oaken wood.

I need to attend to ablutions (from the Middle French/Late Latin abluere = to wash away) and put on the outer lower garments. I'm looking in the mirror and laughing, to see my face wrinkling and so I laugh more because now I can laugh when before I would have just grumbled.
Better to see amusement in life, better to get through it!

You see, it is 10C in my room and I am not in my warm, warm bed. 
I proceed to the kitchen where an icier blast hits me whilst I pour icy water into the kettle and return to put on a purple-soft, muslin scarf and my Nepalese red hat.  How I remember the "123 learning to read" books about The Red hat, Yellow hat and Blue hat families!!!!   Oh dear, I've disturbed the  blackbird as I peer out of the kitchen window. Bird seeds in a tin are taken outside and put onto the temporary, flat, terracotta tile, balanced on the snow. The soft, soft snow has a hard crust.  Break it and find the flurry of snowflakes sticking together. It's not the snow for making snow sculptures!
I came to the computer to find the correct time... I come to my blog and write... I like writing... I am beginning to like jotting about the moments of a real life....and thoughts, random as they come.
I have just opened the steel, cold gates, having heaved and shoved the wooden ones into an open position, the wooden ones hanging heavy on their hinges dropped on their hinges, scraping the drive heavily.  If I don't get them open I won't be able to get out!   Though I have a back gate.  The daily alarm has already occurred.
A telephone call rings twice to let me know he's leaving: "Get out of your warm, warm bed".
(I am not an early riser, unlike he who has been awake since 3,4,5 or 6 o'clock in the morning)
It'll take him 20 minutes or so in my car.  
He's coming to work on my bathroom.  How I love him for his kindness.  Imagine the dedication and commitment to helping me as his friend despite all our failings, errors, human weaknesses, ability to share joy and security, to annoy and irritate, to create aggression and anger,  passivity and passing of war and peace and all the memories.
An angry person cannot rationalise.  He or she has to be left to recover their inner harmony because it is their anger and their pain, their projection, their difficulty that they cannot say what is wrong and cannot meet their own internal needs without the storm. The angry person needs space... maybe a moment, an hour, a day, 3 months, a lifetime even.  Meanwhile everyone and everything in their path is ruined, even themselves with the anger or frustration turned in against their Self. 
I have been uncontrollably angry.  It was when I did not love myself and had poor self-esteem. My kids made me angry. Work made me angry. I tried to deal with it and then became passive and am now dealing with the consequences of passive-aggressive behaviour.  I am not blaming anyone or criticising anyone. I am facing up to what IS.
My dad was regularly a very angry, hostile man and yet you would never have thought that by his social demeanour.  Some people would never have known the ugliness of my past behaviour and for that I am deeply sorry. Anger is fear, frustration, needs not met and requires an honest, painful telling of the truth even though it may hurt.  It needs strategy for coping with.
Whatever the colour of anger and how it is transmitted I never wish to be angry again. I never want to receive anger from those who have purported to have loved.  Anger is not Love.  I never want to see Anger and Castigation being given to me nor someone else and I never want to hear it being projected onto me or anyone else.  If it starts I have to laugh or just walk away.
Too much thinking.
Stop now whilst I get my tea and toast.
Get on with living. The past cannot be undone but it can be learned from, in my warm, warm bed.

Ten

10th day of February
AT 10 am.
Minus 10C outdoors.
Plus    10C in kitchen and bathroom to be.
12C bedroom.
14C living room.

Improvement

Following on from my previous posting. I am not complacent.  I can always try to do better.