The Laundry Room

LAUNDRY ROOM

When we investigated the exterior walls of this the oldest part of the house (it is on the Napoleon map of the village) we discovered two problems:

1. the exterior render needed to be removed and replaced! As it can only be seen in my neighbour’s courtyard, it is low priority because of ‘what the eye doesn’t see’.  However, it will have to be repaired within the next 5 years! 

2. the guttering ran through the boundary of a 3 feet wide stone wall and discharged the rain straight onto my ground. THIS was why the indoor floor level of the room which was half a metre lower than the external ground was wet! So once we’d understood the problem, the floor was tanked with tar, cleaned and levelled so that white ceramic tiles with plinths could be laid.  

The damp interior walls were further dry-lined to ensure the walls were dry and other walls were stripped of the unpleasant wood cladding. All walls were plastered, sanded, and filled continually until they were flat – it was unbelievably difficult.  The ceiling which had never been plastered properly was also a major problem to stop it moving as we tried to make it flat.

Window difficulties

The first window for the laundry room was 45cm by 45cm and an opening/closing window was chosen. My friend adapted the hole in the 2 feet stone wall which looked out into The Atelier. It was wider internally than externally and so wa awkward to improve.  He left a gap for a ventilation grid, as one day the central heating oil boiler will operate once more. As I finish each room I will replace the radiators! 

The second window had a sealed glass brick window flush with the external wall which my friend improved both on the exterior and interior and also removed the nasty, badly-fitted secondary glass which was on the inside.  We had to order an opening window in the same style as the first window and wait two weeks. This was going to be installed on the inside of the existing window as a method of sound and thermal insulation. It was an hour’s journey to the shop so we delayed travelling until we had a number of other things to buy. Meanwhile the beautiful wooden sill was finished. Imagine our annoyance when holding the window to the hole, we couldn't understand why it was too big. The reason was because it is advertised as a window 75cm high and 60cm wide. Correct?  We had assumed that that is the size of the hole.  Mais NON!!! This is France…we had not read the small print at the bottom of the specification chart. Each window is actually 3 cm wider and 5 cm higher or vice versa than the actual measurements advertised in large print at the top of the specifications chart!  Our research indicated this is the norm in Bricodepot and Le Roy Merlin. Therefore, our hole was too small and the neat work had to be undone to accommodate the window frame.

Electricity,Plumbing and Shelving

In May 2010 the Electrician/Plumber promised to make the power safe, complete many electrical  anomalies and instal an enormous, new 'chauffeau thermodynamique' water heater which was eventually completed just before Christmas day 2010 but not switched on until June 2011.  In May 2011 the washing machine was installed.

Between October 2010 and May 2011 I was carefully monitored by my friend and lectured severely when I didn’t get it right! I worked hard on this room and learned to dislike sanding and filling of walls and ceilings. I learned to like painting the walls but was not very good at cutting in. However, I enjoyed stripping the old pine door and waxing one side and painting the other.  Of course my friend had to rehang it which presented additional problems.

It was a terrible room to renovate but now I am extremely happy with it, even though in December 2011 I still await a sink, a worktop and cupboard space. It will be some time before this can be achieved. Meanwhile, shelving units store food, as the room is an excellent larder.

The wood was painted “Lead White” and the walls and ceiling were painted “Chiltern White”. We were very pleased with the transformation of the room.

Recommencing Renovation in September 2010

From September 2010 we recommenced tranquility and renovation work. We began to make three rooms habitable. It was no easy feat!

Blogging

My energy and enthusiasm  was zero for blogsite postings for a new website with blog that my friend had created. At that time this blogsite had not been envisaged.  It has taken me over a year to have a creative mind to out order into my writings and the events of my life.

Exhaustion

Increasingly I found it difficult to wake early. Despite being exhausted and with cold weather approaching, my friend was motivating and a disciplined driving force waking me up, getting me out of his house to work at my house.  At weekends we collapsed with fatigue.  His expertise as a builder converted the rough and horrid to the smooth and beautiful and he gave me training in the use of power tools.  I have a great deal to be thankful for. I cried so much every day. I wanted to give up. But I couldn’t.

Research

Architectural plans had to be made and acceptance gained from the Maire, and research had to be made into double-glazed units, flooring and sub flooring, woodburners, water heaters, doors,

Double Glazed Units

The estimates for creating 19 double glazed units for the doors / windows was unbelievably unaffordable so we researched the costs of phonic and thermal glass. In October 2010 the units arrived from UK but my friend only had time to repair the doors and windows of the two smallest rooms. They were in a very bad way. Worked stopped in May 2011 and when we recommenced renovation in November 2011 we’ve had to focus on the bathroom.

Start of Mammoth Update - Bonfire and Wood

So ... starting today I will attempt to update the year 2010, but naturally events flow into July 2011.

Photographs will be added as and when I can.

 

Bonfires and Wood

This might sound strange but it was a difficult and time consuming task. On 01-10-2010 I cleared the two unsightly mountains of waste wood and garden matter in the middle of my garden. Stuff from garden clearance and stuff inherited in the house! I'd previously sorted it into wood to be saved and wood to be burnt.  However, I should not have tried to burn melamine-clad chipboard as it smells very badly and does not burn!  I sifted the unburnt straw matter from stone matter, picking out the bones and skulls of pre-deceased critters of chickens, meatbones (a dog had lived here!), scallop, oyster and mussel shells long removed from the sea.  The trailer was eventually loaded and upended into the recycling container at the dechetterie. I need not have separated it as it was a dirty task but it was therapeutic, getting me in touch with Mother Earth, sieving enough soil to contribute to an almost stone free place for seedlings and scattering sieved soil into the holes of the lawn. Madness. The waste wood was all saved to saw into kindling wood.  It is still a task to do.

Winter Blues

is what I'm a sufferin' from, I reckon, so I've found me some music to cheer up my soul.  I accept the need to curl up like a hedgehog and sleep a thousand leagues under my duvet ... for the winter darkened days... trouble is ....I need to get on and my body and mind just don't seem to let me!  I just love the music and imagery with the second video.  An accomplished guitarist too and the stones and woodland remind me of where I live.  Winter Bones and Stones. I miss my Summer Spirit.

November 2011

 

NOVEMBER 2011

She walks along the village street where houses made of stone

hide and then reveal an ancient proud chateau

rising high to meet the sky.

She greatly wonders with surprise at this edifice vast and tall

and whose immense imagination

laboured to create such a visual foil.

She marvels at the awesome sight where none have lived since ancient times

and stands to stare in disbelief

like a visitor for the very first time.

She continues walking downward strokes a cat along the way

until she comes to her favourite place 

a mirror for antiquity, a pretty water way.

She stands to listen better

To the silence of the river

As it travels ever lower

Listens to the talking river

Hears the water chattering over

The weir babbling drops together

As thoughts and smiles of laughter

Walk precariously by the river

Broken branches stepping over

Rocks stones and mosses gather

In awe hearing mighty water

Like a child of Hiawatha

Alone with Mother Nature

Golden brown and fading ochre

Cling to trees as Autumn cover

Carpets leafed grey-brown-a-flutter

Scuffle shuffle smell and wonder

River winds around the corner

Of the silhouetted verdure

Forgets her other culture

City life and social banter

Forgets crowds and people chatter

Remembers though the fun and laughter

Remembers holding hands with youngster

Throwing stones in ocean water

Splash. Allow the sea to chase her.

Remember. Arm in arm. A lover.

Hear the buzzard screel and the caw of crows

Marvel at musky damp beneath her toes

Emanating from stones and leaves

Mother earth and moist wet trees

The sight of vivid verdant emerald

Of grass-bright-green moss-cushions-gold

Wonder the source of this wild French river
As Azerables joins the Gartempe and ponder

The damp wet beauty and olfactory aroma.

Evp November 2011

I am a leaf

A leaf tells of an adventure downstream

I am a leaf floating on the current.

Other leaves float alongside me.

We float separately but some are nearer than others.

Some move faster and overtake me.

I take my time.

I move faster than others,

making quicker progress to reach those who have passed me by.

We’re heading towards the sea, a very long journey.

However, I know not where I am destined

as many of us will reach a different end.

From time to time another leaf falls from a tree and joins us.

Trees were our birthplace

where last Spring we leafed into bright green clothing,

vivid, vibrant, rustling, fluttering in the breezes.

But as Autumn arrived we changed our apparel,

yellow, orange, red, brown, as trees discarded us.

Very few of us will meet the mighty ocean.

Most will be pummelled into the river bank mud

to disintegrate and be transformed into river sediment.

The rain, snow and ice could batter us to death before we’ve achieved our ageing process.

Some of us are in better shape than others.

Some of us look quite elegant and beautiful floating in style.

Others seem to be clutching at the surface of the water with leafy tenacity. 

Others have already drowned and lie at the bottom of the river in swathes.

It does not matter how we present ourselves in life.

We all have the same fate.

We all look the same once we have perished.

We journey on to enjoy the view and as we gently drift,

look down into depths of unknown territory, darkness and murky blackness,

to study the reflections of the trees who still cling onto fellow friends.

Some trees never let our cousins fall from their symbiosis remaining evergreen.

We though are free, abandoned, rejected, call it what you will.

We are made to endure a journey – an adventure downstream.

We may be lucky, we may suffer.

We accept our fate, for now we are gladly carried to what we will become.

Peace and Understanding

Peace is essential for living. Not only do we try to remember those who without dignity died fighting in the most dire conditions that you would not even expect an animal to endure but also we try to remember that they died struggling for peace, understanding and acceptance of the differences between different lands, cultures and peoples.  Sometimes perhaps we should try and forget past aggressions and wars so that inner peace within us has an opportunity to develop and bring harmony to the world as well as to our inner soul, our family and friends. 
For many years I upheld the Catholic faith to the best of my ability which was never good enough and I knew that.  But what is perfect? Before that I had my own beliefs which I continued to believe with modification and despite loving much of the Catholic faith especially the songs and hymns which I used to play every day on the piano, I never became a Catholic in the 23 years that I worked within the Catholic environment.  Two more years and I would have been eligible for a Papal medal if the secretary was awarded one after 25 years service to the establishment!   I made mistakes but I did my best not to be hypocritical (yet I think I probably was) and I did my best to keep the peace and to teach children that respect between people is a gift and is something to be valued in our attempt to acknowledge that people are very much the same despite differences in appearance, faiths, beliefs and much more.
When my father died this is the song that came spontaneously and which I sang all alone in a Church in Spain where there was no other family member except my daughter.  He saw terrible atrocities in the war and told me about some on the very last day I ever met him. It was as if a burden had been lifted for him because he said he had never ever told anyone this part of his story.  His only sibling sister was dying and he knew he would never see her again.  Tragically, he died soon after from a traffic accident and lost the power of speech.  He made his own decision not to burden anyone. 
This is the song I sang spontaneously today just after 11am on 11th day of the 11th month of the year 2011 as I sat in my garden listening to the clock strike the hour, as I sat and with my own reflections with hands covered in dirt and imagined those who fought in trenches, those who fought for the Fair Winds of France and England to bring freedom from fighting, to give those who came after Peace.  Each verse is repeated but Peace is replaced with Love, Joy, Hope.

Peace is flowing like a river,
Flowing out through you and me,
Spreading out into the desert,
Setting all the captives free.

On another note:
Today I was speaking to a friend about the larger pansies which compared to the diminutive ones seem to have a disappointed attitude as they bow their heads. 

September 2010

In September 2010 I started to try to think differently, to take one step at a time - 'pas a pas'.
I found a quote in Labyrinth by Kate Mosse. which seemed to identify purpose.   
As I can't locate the quote I'll have to read the book again and when it is found I will post it here!

I began to enjoy 'le chaleur' et l'ombre' - the heat and the shade in different parts of the house and garden - at least 29 degrees celsius. It makes me feel HUMAN and NORMAL.  I watch the harvest coming in and see the bare, exposed fields with the crows or rooks cawing cavernously, making me nervous about Winter.  

Restless in France was having to think positively and optimistically for Autumn was yet to come and she who loves colours, smells, mists and moistiness enjoys October.  She has a lot to plan even when planning makes little difference. 

Waxing Lyrical - Poems from July and August 2010

Waxing Lyrical 1: Homage to sheep, stones, solitariness and standing still

Sheep are like Stones….except that the latter do not move.

‘Twixt sunrise and sunset one can meditate whilst observing herbivores grazing on the grass in fields and one thinks that their movement is imperceptible. 

Let one’s mind drift, look away or dream, and look again and one becomes aware that they have all changed places, surreptitiously.  However, if sheep feel threatened or intimidated by a clap of the hands for example they bleat furiously and run together.

Eating machines are what sheep are… unlike stones in walls and stones in fields, that existing since creation, perhaps have not moved far from their original place over thousands, nay million, billions, trillions of years.

A sheep born as a humble lamb soon learns to get on its feet to avoid danger, to dance and skip and move on to eat.

Does luck come into it if it should it be killed as a lamb or as mutton?

I climb upon the wall, the dry stone wall, over one metre high.

I could not have done this five years ago!  

How wonderful to have such a commanding view over sheep and stones.

I am as strong as this blade of grass… oh drat, it has bent a few centimetres from my thumb.   Breaking it off again it stands tall and strong again.  I will not weaken as before, I say!

I stand in this seemingly special place that I have learned…yes, learned to love, 
this wilderness where one hardly ever sees a soul except of the woolly variety.  

I have been back in France for less than 24 hours. 
It is now twilight as I overlook the barren sprawl of countryside, the trees … and SHEEP .. or are they STONES?

I stand up high on this stone wall with a view, up and down the lane before me. Behind me in another field are more sheep and their friendly pony and beyond to the west are layers of sunset rays, amidst blue, blue skies and streaking, fluffy-white clouds.

Oh magic, marvellous moment to remember,  an exquisitely warm evening, cities far away as I stand here solitary in wild, deserted countryside not a soul to be seen, save sheep and stones.… all alone … and all alone in a beloved France, with beloved England far away, as all souls are always all alone.

 

Ep  9th July 2010   

VDV - knowing that time stands not still and brings changes that cannot be fought against.

Waxing Lyrical 2: Homage to a river, acceptance and stillness

In the August shade I sit solitary against a tree trunk.

Summer into Autumn, roots bare and brown, 
writhe like snakes upon solid brown earth on L' Isle de L’Anglin.

When Winter comes these tree roots will be submerged beneath surging waters.

But for now, Tall poplars, leaves mirrored in a looking glass 

create a meditational water garden wavering constantly and continuously.

Diamonds grow like deep, dark glossy jewels on the water surface 
as ripples meet ripples, to and fro, from bank to bank.

Lilypads on the quieter side of this isle invite demoiselles and dragonflies to flit in a different garden of delight.

Willow weeps and wails, whilst a dozen ducks without drakes form a flotilla floating downstream.

Quiet voices, peaceful movement, disturb a potential silence; tranquillity as people prepare for a fête.

Ep August 2010  

AsA - knowing that acceptance is a wonderful thing and can create a different kind of stillness.

To marvel at the water's edge

More frequently do I arrive at the river

to marvel at the water’s edge,

to walk against the current, or to walk with the flow,

to sit on a rock contemplating the wondrous day,

to hear burbling,

to meditate how deep reflections of trees are

with upside-down trunks playing trickery,

causing my mind to think that the course of water runs so deep,

when in reality

the river bed is not much more than a metre below the surface

on which leaves float,

where here and there

a surprise splash of frog or fish breaks the quiet surface tension

between wetness and air.

Towards the evening sun of October

look up high

to the bright blue sky and watch a distant plane paint its path,

look down low

to see the ball of heat reflected with sparkling, twinkling, diamante rays.

A small breeze buffets newly grown poplar shoots arising from old trunks cut down last Autumn before Winter 
to make way for Spring growth.

Passers by with dogs,

elderly arm in arm,

young in a different embrace,

family scenes,

solitary ones,

all enjoy pleasure from this garden.

I alone, learn to be alone, walk alone at my own speed,

having to wait for no one else but only me alone in my world,

not lonely,

yet sense aloneness

as I frequently arrive at the river to marvel at the water’s edge.

Evp

October 2011

Entertainment

Some acquaintances are extremely talented and their association "La Fausse Compagnie" presents a variety of quality entertainment for the public.  The aim is to take the current several day event to different villages where little happens.  So to Vicq sur Gartempe...and at the water's edge. "Lire en Vienne" presented a poetry reading "Au fil de L'eau" in French, of course, followed by soup and wine for free. 

On a different day music for a Bal was played by button accordion and drums. My two left feet were invited to be a partner for either E or F in the Valse.  They steered me each time!  After a while I became rather melancholy when I kept hearing the tunes I play and I wanted to be on the playing side of the instrument rather than the listening side.
In the darkness Spacefish did his act and after that there was a 5 minute Mime from Momette who had no mouth.   My fascination was with the excellent performance from two astounding women accordionists who could not only PLAY, and I mean PLAY... this instrument in different styles without music, but could sing, and I mean SING ...even in an operatic manner as well as cause much merriment and mirth within themselves and the audience.  One was tall and one was short and yet so beautifully entwined were they in their performance. Brilliant.   The repas on the Saturday evening was Celeri Remoulade, followed by Poulet avec Prunes, and a variety of prune, plum or apple tart. Seasonal fare!  It was great fun and lovely to be out and about.  I never get my attire correct... went in trousers ... but then nipped home to wear something more 1950s style... black and white polka dot skirt, black polo neck sweater, kitten heels and my ¾ length autumn brown satin coat. More womanly!

A week later I went rather timidly to a cabaret version of the poetry presentation in the village hall where I live. The readers were dressed as matelots (sailors) on a theatrically decorated stage, with a slideshow of watery scenes.  There were two sea shanty songs for audience participation, but I declined to sing “A la santé du roi de France et merde pour le roi d’Angleterre” for the refrain/ chorus!!! The two hour entertainment cost 5 euros which included a glass of cider,  plus 1 euro for a slice of home made Reine Claude tart and coffee.  One French lady who I met at the previous entertainment was very welcoming and ensured I sat at a table with other people rather than alone. No one else spoke to me but I enjoyed just trying to understand the extracts that included Jules Verne, Hemingway, Homer and Victor Hugo…I read the programme!

UPDATE: November 21st 2012  Go to:

http://www.lafaussecompagnie.fr/spectacles-le-chant-des-pavillons.html

where you can travel from webpage to webpage to listen to and see more information.

An up and down journey to keep fit

Start your walk after a fine lunch at LA PLACE AIMÉ OCTOBRE

Walk along the LA RUE DE FOUR BANAL and around the loop of the road in front of the château. Be aware of traffic.

 Keep descending along the RUE DU PONT going past a house on the right which has this plaque.

  Arrive at the bridge over the River L'Anglin and bear right.

Walk under the bridge along the RUE DE DONJON, past an unused gate on the right.

Turn left below the château to climb LA TRANCHÉE DES ANGLAIS.  This pass, possibly without steps, was made by Les Anglais in order to seize the château in 1356.

Arriving at RUE DU CHÂTEAU turn left, (yes you have been here before)
then ascend the steps at LE TRUCHON (a family name?) which is on your right.

Turn right at RUE DE FOUR BANAL (yes you have been here before)
and proceed down the slope of the TERRIER DU CHÂTEAU where once carriages traversed before the loop of the road was created.
Turn right (yes you have been here before) and then proceed up the slope of LA CUEILLE where once water would have been collected from the low town.

where you can gather your breath, turn right to RUELLE DE L'ARCEAU.

Turn right to return to LA PLACE for refreshment.
N.B. There are different coloured chairs for the two café-bar restaurants.  Try one at the start of your journey and the other when you have finished.
It's a good physical exercise and should take you no more than about 30 or 45 minutes depending on how long you stop to admire the views!!!!!!!

Another Woodburner

The woodburner in the other room is now working brilliantly. I had trouble with smoke coming out from the back and twice the company returned, investigated, swept the brand new chimney, lit the fire and found no problem.  In between the installation and their visits I lit it four times on different days and always the same problem. Happily, I have no more problems and would heartily recommend the company.

Another marvellous female musician

Anna Calvi

Zaidi Zaidi - a Macedonian Song

Exquisite Sevdah sung by Amira Medunjanin from Bosnia and music from Sidonia, Romania, Estonia.
Listen to the delayed acoustics and the beautiful duduk, a variety of shawm. 

Mastering the Woodburner

When working well so much heat is generated that it is obviously unwise to touch the enamel stove and pipe ... and yet when it is not going quite so well to touch the enamel is warming to the hands and comforting. Which would I rather have? The former!
My theory is that men are better with pyrotechnics.... but  as a 'newlyagainlearninghowtobeindependent' woman,  I  have to learn to have androgynous talents!

This woodburner is very different from all the others I have known. It has a waffle bed, rather than a grate, and is enamelled.   I have followed instructions and built up a bed of ash. Today I've emptied the ashpan, which was not full but I thought it could be a factor in why I cannot keep the woodburner alight through the  night or even day!  Now I know I have to get that oak really hot before  I close down the dampers and although it is "interdit" to open that front door just a crack, it seems to be effective at getting the oak fired up and getting the room and me warmer!   So before I went out this afternoon, I got it working well, closed down the levers... and on my homecoming opened up the door just a wee bit and now the fire is humming happily. This is when I know it is working well.  And the note compared to my piano which may need a re-tune is about Eb ( E flat ).  The hum is as comforting as the heat and I've never had a woodburner that hummed.  I ought to know about acoustics .... but perhaps it is the 1.70m length of enamelled pipe that creates the sound.
My lessons from others in woodburner skills is that I must watch, listen and observe and this will indicate what I do and what I have to do with .....

• the level of ash
• the amount of paper and kindling wood to build up the heat before adding the oak log
• when to open and close the dampers left and right - one is the air wash to keep the window clean (and this is important when it takes several minutes to clean the window each morning with expensive cleaning agent, vinegar and ash)
• the length of time to keep a stove door ajar and then which one - the front or the side  
• when to use the poker to break down the glowing red oak embers so that it creates a hotbed for the next log
• exactly when to load the next log.... this seems to be crucial ....
• and many other factors,  e.g.   I am convinced the air pressure of the weather has an effect!  Science was never my forté, but I challenge even the scientist to 'have a go' at  maintaining what is at present my only source of heat, apart from the hot water bottle! I have been sorely tempted to purchase another electric blanket but I  gave up on that luxury when I discovered that I had been saved from incineration when I discovered it had burnt my bedlinen!  OK that was 30 years ago! 

I love my woodburner and although it is dirty and dusty from time to time it is enormously satisfying when I get it right and can sit in warmth and watch the fire in the window. 

Piano Concert 4 hands 2 pianos

On Friday I was reluctant to travel for 50 minutes to a concert but after a beautiful productively busy day when I was rewarded by a long walk and apricot tartlet I decided to go.  It was fun and the standard was extremely high.  The two pianists were Russian.  Yes, 4 hands playing two Steinway grand pianos facing each other in a 'being-renovated' stable block belonging to the Château de Crémault, on the banks of the River Vienne at Bonneuil-Matours.  For many years I wanted to go to the concerts but not drive the distance. I made it and how glad I was.  I arrived to find people standing in the dark... aha ... this is a French thing... this happened to me the last time I went to a concert a few weeks ago.  I am told that the time of the concert has altered and would I like some tea.  Tea never arrived but our group was ushered into the private chateau where we were shown the art on display.  I found the textile sculptures of African women fascinating and longed to be able to do that sort of thing.  We were in the back three rooms of the castle with a view of the river, if it were not night.  Beautiful, simple but not rich, paneled walls on which hung abstract paintings of 'sort of one colour' until up close you could see the texture and different hue of paint daubed onto the surface.  There was a marvelous table around which were 18 chairs!  Imagine sitting there in Georgian style.  I liked another table on which were silver plates, glass containers, candles, dried lavender flowers, bottles of liquor, glasses, huge vases of champagne corks, a pottery angel, a cornucopia of walnuts, a panoply of peacock feathers,  and much else besides on the table, under the table and around the table set against the wall with a mirror to reflect the bazaar.  After listening to our host we were taken outside to the ancient orangery where no orange flowers bloomed but his paintings of the sea hung on the wall. He elaborated in detail before confessing they were his.  I liked them very much but my interest was transfixed to the dilapidated, open window.....

It was time to buy my ticket and choose a seat... oh with difficulty.... two grand pianos facing each other and seats on all sides of the pianos.....  I sat by the window but later moved when the ladies played 4 hands at one piano.   I was in awe. Yes they had music scores but the quality of the pianistic skill was impressive, certainly of any city concert hall. How could they play so fast AND turn those pages over? They played Liszt, Schumann, Chopin, Ravel, Messiaen, and William Walton"s Valse from Façade.  I couldn't get a play list.

Afterwards we were invited to have a glass of wine and were served sweet biscuits which gave an opportunity for people to mingle. I was surprised to be speaking to our host, the painter who had given us the arrival tour.  It must be costing an absolute fortune to renovate one of the two stable blocks with oak flooring much the same as mine and then have the cost of the  ceilings, lighting, "candlearbres" (how do you spell that word? aha ... candleabras - it looks so strange when I know that les arbres are trees and les bras are arms!)  as well as heating for the regular concerts. Do they own these two pianos or are they hired?   Whatever ... I had a wonderful evening, returning at midnight, and enjoyed an experience again like no other in England or in France.  The ticket for such musicianship was 16e. I can't afford to go to their weekly concerts but I shall definitely think about making the effort more often.

A kaleidoscopic summer in 2010

May 2010 to August 2010

After sand blasting.....there was a kaleidoscope of activities. These were certainly colourful but not always pretty!

It was impossible to relax when decisions had to be considered and made, shopping for materials and tools was necessary and living was all go, go, go with increasing tensions.  I had help but hindrance seemed to be by the side as I attempted to face the consequences of purchasing this particular house.

Life seemed to throw me several lessons all at once.  I've known myself to be a slow learner and have often had to experience several lessons.  Repetition though is part of the learning process as I used to tell those I taught. Awareness, observation, courage, confidence as well as time to reflect help! I certainly was having all this thrown in my direction. 

ADMINISTRATION
May is the time for tax return forms - not as simple as it sounds! Several visits to the tax office and then they were happy!  Every year is not easy!
Accounts of expenditure had to be kept.  I quickly began to lose the plot when I had so much else to do and think about.

CLEARING OUT
Two large attics were cleared of debris that had been left from the previous owner ...
masses of old cardboard, duvets and blankets used as insulation to protect the water against the frost,
empty wine bottles, rubber pipes, old books,
polystyrene sheets,
clothes in wardrobes,
useful knitting wool and fabric,
wood, nails, hooks, metal, blue farming twine (all affectionately renamed as Augés, after the previous resident, he solved all conundrums with bits of wood, metal, string)
tiles, old kitchen crockery,
kitsch items such as a sequined santa!
old mirrors (these are to go in the garden)
old furniture some of which served useful as building site seats and tables but then disintegrated,
garden rubbish - oyster shells, chicken and beef bones and metal littered the garden,
... to name but just some of the stuff that made mountains in the courtyard until it was taken to the dechetterie in cars and remorques.

REMOVAL and REPAIR
Radiators were removed from the walls,
external shutters were sanded and painted and sanded and painted...
and to add to difficulties the car started to have a repeat of electrical problems, all to do with the remorque lights blowing the fuse!
The ceiling between the beams was plasterboarded, plastered and painted.
The walls lost their wallpaper with tears and laughter whilst music helped to keep the rhythm going. As I worked my way around the room, the concave walls were filled as best as we could not having the correct tools (months later I bought the correct trowel!)   Plaster filling resulted in dust, dust and more dust and needed the patience and determination of Job.  My gratitude is vast!
In the midst of chaos artisans came to give estimates for roof repair and electricity repair.

TOIL, TROUBLE and inevitable TOLL
The backs of the two men took a toll from digging ditches, distributing rubble in country lanes, cutting a door hole in a French breezeblock wall and reaching high to the ceilings.  To work hard as a skivvy was my way of demonstrating my gratitude as well as the fact that it brings me enjoyment to provide breakfast, coffee, tea, lunch, cakes, ice-creams, beer and wine, as well as to sweep the site clean, several times a day.  Sanding woodwork was not so pleasant for me  but I was ready to lift buckets of rubble, problem-solve and add ideas for project management. 

FAILINGS
I was being pressured to design, choose and buy bathroom furniture when clearly I had no idea.   I wasn't confident with what I wanted nor what to buy. I was also lacking confidence in considering where electrics should go, calculating tiling and paint, even though over the last 12 years I have become well-used to house renovation and the inside of DIY stores. The difference this time was the scale of this project. It was not just redecoration.  I respect interior designers and builders but the client also needs to be respected. It was my own fault in many ways to bring in the workers before I had had a chance to decide what the house required. Retrospectively, I have no qualms now in a) bringing men to work as it made things happen... and b) being indecisive etc  because out of those inadequacies I may have caused the builders a lot of frustrations but I am achieving the style of house that I like. 

SUCCESS
In the midst of chaos we ate brilliantly... and somehow I, him and him, made cherry clafoutis, paschka, bread, prawn lakhsa, enjoyed barbecues, casseroles, roasts and swam in the river, went to music concerts and brocantes, sat in the garden and talked and talked. It was a lovely experience and fun.
We did our best to rise above the challenges which seemed to hit us anew each day, designed to destroy a dream enveloped amidst the kaleidoscope of emotions.

REGRET
It makes me sorrowful, regretful and I thought I was the catalyst for what has happened but I know that it was not all my fault and that deeper psychological traumas are responsible for feelings that have been mismanaged by myself and others.

ENJOYMENT
Midsummer came and Eve was fun!      ( I'm looking for the PHOTOS.......)
My son and I decided to burn one pair of the several pairs of clogs that had been taken off the walls..... this pair were doomed as the rites were read.  We had a marvellous meal I seem to remember and sat reflectively under the stars when my son told me he'd much prefer to see his mother dancing and laughing

JULY 2010
After 7 weeks my world was rather topsy-turvy. My son went home and I went to England where I stayed for the first two weeks of July 2010 and wished I'd stayed there for longer as my birthday in France was the most depressingly, miserable birthday I had ever, ever, ever experienced.  No one to share it with. No special meal. No cake. No presents until after the day.  My son sent me LOVE because that was all I said I ever wanted and what a surprise to open 4 sculpted letters and my daughter sent me a beautiful glass necklace. I cried.

Love on a mantelpiece which has been replaced by a woodburner.

Pretty glass tear drop to accompany the love I yearned for.

AUGUST 2010
July disappeared. I rallied. August seemed so cold. When the weather improved two of us spent about 20 hours clearing two gardens where the grasses were over 2 feet tall. Another 10 hours cleared the debris from my stable garage building.

BAD DREAMS
I was sleeping between two houses and on the morning of 7th August 2010 I had a dream with a hugely sized number '7/2/24'.  It was telling me where to go on this date.  It was rather like the NEON sign 'LOSE' in my dream that I had in March 2010. It was a warning.  I camped in my house.

FRUSTRATIONS and SETBACKS
I tried to sand and paint a small room but the finish of the walls and woodwork was poor to start with so how could I make silk out of a sow's ear!  It was not what I wanted to achieve.  I became angry and frustrated with everything and everyone, recounting in my head past actions, words, emotions and how it could have been made better.  I despaired at the whole idea of having bought my house because it seemed that by and large it had brought me hell, unhappiness and thrown my life up into the air in shards of glass, fragments of dust, meaningless matter and all at my age and his!
My daughter sent me a text message to say that there are reasons why I have come to this house and I have to learn what the lessons are.  She gave me strength to carry on when all I wanted to do was to crawl into a pit somewhere. On reflection as I write this 17 months after my purchase I consider she was correct.
Then a friend was hospitalised and weirdly this resulted in further worries, deceits, confessions and miseries!  When would it ever get better? Because it can't get any worse.... or can it????????
There is a Law of Attraction and a Law of Thought and I have been guilty of the two with my anxiety and paranoia. I also believe that paranoia from elsewhere was also responsible.

A SUMMING UP 

In the months from May to August 2010 I was aware of being:  active or still, hardworking or lazy, reflective or unable to think, animated or tired,  happy or sad,  positive or negative,  enthusiastic or struggling,  proud or ashamed, confident or embarassed, overjoyed or depressed, competent or overwhelmed..... and so many other conditions of JUST BEING that appeared to fluctuate seemingly incessantly,  as I waited for each moment to tell me what to do next.  Increasingly I heard of people who were unwell and I worried about  my own health and that of the people I love and knew that life should be celebrated and not reduced to the negativity, inner injury and tears that seemed to be knocking on my door and that of the people I love.

   

With regard to my very own house, by August, it felt as if a kind of secret was being revealed to me, demonstrating a range of unexpected feelings; trepidation, fear, anxiety, excitement, energy, enthusiasm, shame, embarassment ( the amount of rubbish destined for the décheterrie), then stillness and calm as I tried to understand how the house wanted to be looked after.  I began at some point to feel quite content as I listened to the silence and sounds within and without the stone walls and imagined times gone before and times to come.