Parisians and Pink Champagne

How lovely to entertain for aperos, have everything prepared and then to be given a bottle of pink champagne which I insisted we open.
I know nothing of Champagne except I really liked this one ( photo later )

Now aperos in France means different things to different people at different times of the day and one can never be sure of what it all means. Sometimes one is invited for pre-dinner drinkypoos and another time one is invited to a full scale meal, as that which happened in Bretagne some years ago with my cousin. We arrived at the French friend's house and discovered we were under-dressed...it was a Sunday,  and instead of 'une heure' we were there for 7 hours indulging in one of  the most amazing and memorable meals I have ever been delighted to indulge in.  Fortunately, she and I were not driving!
And so...
In this case two boys, aged 7 and almost 4, who do not go to sleep until 10pm, were to arrive at 7.30pm, because not knowing what to do I gave the family the option on time of arrival. They were only 10 mins late and that is correct in French society!  I hedged my bets and provided a range of nuts, goats cheese, fresh apricots, olives, the best tomatoes, rocket and lettuce from my garden, a stilton and walnut tart with my own made pastry,  plus chocolate cakes in cases for the boys. The youngest person told his parents he loved aperos and was clearly hungry.  He tucked into the pistachios and then the quiche before anyone else and exclaimed how good it was... then he was told to tell me ... as I was the cook!
We were all appreciative of the food and drink. I then opened a bottle of Chinon and later offered tea which was very welcomed.  He asked for spicy tea and voila I have Chai.  Brilliant!
It was a cooler evening but M wished to stay outdoors as long as possible. However, once the dusk and bats had settled for night, we moved indoors, where the boys were drawing and listening to JS Bach 'cello suites. Such a lovely family.  It has taken me two years to return the favour, when New Friend and I were invited to the neighbours' garden for aperos one August.  This was because I always asked them to come just before they had to return to Paris.
This time it has taken a few weeks to get the date, but at last it was my pleasure to give and it was such a successful and easy evening.  I was glad to have made the effort.

Feeling the pain and rising above it........

I felt the breeze change last night. Autumn cometh.
The weather has changed: temperatures  in / out  for day / night have been similar for some time BUT NOW a 10C degree difference between outdoors / indoors accompanies the rain, scuppering an idea to clear the wood pile! Sabotage!

I feel Life's tempest brewing ......

I haven't posted because living alone allows too much opportunity for introspective thinking on making sense of this world and I am fast coming to the conclusion there is NO SENSE:  it is all NON SENSE!
LIFE is short.  Perhaps it has to be enjoyed no matter how hedonistic.  I've invested too much time and energy in the man that I thought I loved. I know I did love him even back in 1998 when first we became unstable.  Why has it lasted so long? Why does it take so long to heal? 

MY STRUGGLE IS THAT I HAVE deeply rooted PRINCIPLES of prudishness, pride, honesty, loyalty, integrity, decency and dignity and feel that I should be honoured and cherished for my womanhood and that THAT is also what I should offer for any man who wants to be with me!
BUT IT AINT ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!!!!!
I've made errors of judgement with my principles / behaviour but I don't have to punish who I am. 
One tries to go with the flow of life... tries to keep busy... tries to keep calm and reflect, consider motives for what I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE, now that someone says I am a liberated woman with a thousand voices and says I rock his boat !
How nice! How flattering but it can't last!
BUT then the dream and reality of unreality crashes on the rocks! The rock is on a stormy sea. I clearly contributed to The Previous One's behaviour.  it wasn't all my fault even though he blamed and criticised me for my imperfections, failings, weaknesses. THAT is exactly what he worked upon to keep me down whenever I got strong.

Why is it that my rebellious teenager or my playtime seeking child won't listen to my adult? 
 
How much can anyone ever believe anyone?
How much can anyone trust others ... or is it all to be interpreted as a pack of lies as each one of us in the world seeks to meet our own individual needs in a selfish world?
Have I become too cynical?
Have I too much time to think?
Is it because I've been down on the floor so many times, picked myself up, dusted myself down and started all over again that I will keep doing that until I learn what it is I need to learn?
Someone please shout at me the blindingly obvious!
How can anyone ever protect themselves from the pain that is bound to come when one has had pleasure or feels bliss when it all disintegrates?
I get blissful whilst on my bike, whilst looking out with wonder across stubbled fields, clover, fields where millet ripens, huge leaved crops that must be the Nicotiana family ... tobacco,  yellow and green sunflowers in serried ranks, praising the SUN, which I do too ...... I bow my head as I eat my apple and praise God for the fact that I am alive and mobile and my happiness pours forth into the world.
I need to be emotionally inert.  That's a laugh a minute ... it'll happen when I am dead!
One tries to see good in everyone ... and know that as human beings we all feel the same ...
One tries to be compassionate and caring. I do try to love who I am and what I am so that I can share that love with others. It all sounds so trite.
One tries to know purpose in life and to what degree of fulfilment one could achieve for Self and to give to others.
I wish to meet new people, go to new places, hear new stories, do new things, see culture, so that I can learn more about REALITY.
I want to go travelling, be a hobo, but the time is not yet here.
There is a roof to be re-roofed, a kitchen to be gutted,  a bunion to be lanced, logs to be collected / delivered / stacked and how to do this with a hobbly foot will be interesting and then the rest....
This the former professional, a sometimes feisty woman who used to juggle two kids as a single parent with a full-time teaching commitment working all hours that God sent in order to prove my worth (the failing school grew from a roll of 30 ish children to 120 on roll when I was Acting Head [for my sins]). I studied for my degree status  at the same time. Before that the three of us lived in a house with subsidence where inside temperatures were below zero! Was I too busy with my job to take care of me and my kids. On reflection it did not seem to be enough but it has to be because it cannot be redone!

Mindful in solitude, I try to do the following but make little headway because of self-sabotage. 
1. Wake up ... go to sleep.
2. Eat and drink a balanced diet to lose weight before the foot incapacitates me for 3 to 6 months.
3. Exercise - I spent too long on my bottom last winter.  This Summer into Autumn I am proud of activity. I can easily walk fast for an hour in the morning and cycle for an hour or two each afternoon / evening.  It is not enough. BUT is enough for someone who had M.E., who could not walk between two groynes on a beach without a helping hand, who had to crawl up the stairs and shuffle down on her bottom, who fell asleep whilst the kettle boiled!
4. TRY to tick off jobs and tasks...e.g. currently having to make a decision on MUTUELLE payments as this is a task that has been shelved for 7 years and the recent enquiry with quotes is one year old... I have to pay out for my health costs because I have chosen to live in France. Only a percentage is picked up by the NHS... (what is that these days?)  Other goals must be to decide how to purchase a new vehicle so I pray that my little Clio keeps on moving....
5. TRY to Sort & Clear out STUFF I have not used, do not use, will never use again... Whew that is such a challenge!!!!!!  There in my attic are family photos ... newspaper cuttings, memorabilia, treasured items of monetary and emotional value...  There on my computer are photographic memories and a muddled collection of writings....and the whole story needs strategic thinking and a million ways of threshing to dump or keep in an honoured way. It's pretty scary to open sealed boxes from the past, when memories good and bad arrive to hit one in the head and heart. Currently the floor is littered with books not sold at the Books Festival ... not the same as a UK Literary Festival! but that is what this village needs to do.  It is stuck in old ways and is not keeping up with modernity... One can't keep presenting the same format... We did that at school for sports day and barbecue nights and then someone came and shook it all up!!!!! It needed a revamp and so did we, the staff!
6. TRY to think clearly, proactively. logically. No thinking would be good too.
7. TRY to formulate ideas for a plan for the future!
8. Laugh A Minute!    It keeps a level of sanity in the why of why this has happened in my life.

It's my blog... I can write about what I choose.

Angles sur L'Anglin

This is a link to a previous but existing blog 

that was created to my design with the skills of my former partner about 

Angles sur L'Anglin.

I am publicly publishing this information because the blog contains personal, creative writings about previous Feu d'Artifice (firework) events at this beautiful village.

It explains how he / I / we found this beautiful village and recently people have been asking how I came to live here.  It's hard to find the short story! This explains!

I had intended to expand that particular Blog,  but, within my inner psyche,  I was locked, blocked, stuck, ashamed. in regret, in remorse, in bereavement. It was and has been and IS difficult to accept and acknowledge all the good that there was In a Previous Life!  

Indeed, I might add to that blog  for which I have paid the domain name,  but for the Now, I have other objectives.  I enjoy self-publishing my photos and scripts as part of being Restless in France.

Perhaps it is time to publicly celebrate MY STORY and not to hide the past.

I'm wishing to remember and celebrate my past, my life, my long friendship with my former soulmate. I'm wishing to celebrate who I am and where I've been to get to where I am, despite the LOSSES experienced and despite an emotional HELL that I seem to have allowed myself to go through, for whatever reason. Agreed, it is nothing compared to what others bear in their lives.   It is just who I am. I seem to feel things very deeply and wish I didn't.
Nevertheless that does not diminish the love I have for my inner core and the love I have for other people and things.  Most of the thoughts that are truly in my head are linked to emotions. To stop them or put them into a box may mean to become mentally and emotionally inert.  I don't know about that! I am told that I have to put the past to bed in order to heal, to prevent the inner torture.

It is ironic that I come to live on a street called the Road to Hell and another plot is number 13.  I never knew these facts when I signed for the property. If I did, I would not have completed the purchase.  This actually makes me laugh... because what else can one do but see the humour in the twists and turns of life... otherwise one would go completely barmy and need the institutional nuthouse!

It is impossible to believe that once I was a person of social standing with more responsibilities for others than I could manage!

However,  here I am, mostly extremely happy to live in this most beautiful of villages despite that sometimes perhaps I do not make as much of my life every day as that which I could!  I miss many things. The clock is ticking as I search for the next adventure!

 

Angles sur L'Anglin Pyromelodique 2013

It IS tricky to capture night scenes and fireworks.  I was up high and it was interesting to see how the air pressure kept the vapour from the explosives near the ground. The whole valley was filled with smoke so whether or not those near the river saw much will be interesting! The disadvantage was not being able to fully hear the music and spoken account.  I paid my fee but was annoyed that some visitors did not. I suppose 6.50euros for one person is not a great entertainment fee but for a family it must get expensive when then there is the need to eat, drink and participate in the fairground activities. I used to take a picnic before I lived here.  Last year's event was cancelled and the year before I watched whilst sat on the rocks high up at La Huche Corne which was a good position. In 2010 I sat on the Low Town side of the river which was not bad... that was the year the pompiers had to extinguish a fire on the cliff face to many cheers once it was realised it was not part of the drama!  In 2008 or 9, I sat on the High Town side of the river by the first tree and all the years before that going back to 2004 I believe!  Hey ho the years pass!

In Memoriam and Celebration

In Memory of my beautiful Aunt Ivy, sister of my father, whose birthday was today and who died many years ago with Alzheimers. Her last words when she had not spoken for a long while were evidently to me as she patted me on the arm and said "Come along" and we walked across the room where another patient had tipped out all the earth from the flowerpots! I have always felt privileged to have known her.

Her eldest daughter who was married on the 3rd August has celebrated 50 years of marriage with her husband. It was a grand family affair in their garden, very relaxed and gentle.  They celebrated the ceremony in July when their son, Mark and his family who live in USA could be in England and their daughter, Carol and her family from Kent could be there at the weekend.

I consider it to be a grand achievement of commitment, dedication, patience, tolerance, determination, endurance, faith, hope, charity and grace and much more. x

Spicy Moroccanish Lamb Burgers without bread on a bed of lentils and green salad.

A shoulder of lamb cost 11.70 euros as it was 7.50 euros per kilo. I cut 800g meat from the joint. I could have cut more but roasted the rest of the meat on the bone, then made stock from the bones after removing the cooked meat. Once the bones had been boiled, all remaining pieces of meat were removed and put into the stock.

 This quantity could serve 4 to 8 people depending on appetites or greed!

Mince or grind in a blender 800g raw lamb, a little at a time.  I added:

• finely sliced red onions, garlic and fresh ginger pre-sautéed in olive oil
• a small handful of porridge oats
• salt and black pepper, cumin, coriander, nutmeg, mace, cinnamon, paprika doux and piment doux ground powders,  plus dried coriander leaves, lots of dried mint leaves, lemon juice, dash of soy sauce, dash of olive oil infused with chilli
• (note you can add garam masala but I didn't have any)

I squeezed it all together with a clean hand. Then I weighed each burger to be about 100g which made 8 flat burgers but you could make them larger and fatter or smaller into meatballs, in which case I think a tomato sauce would be good.
I pan fried the burgers for  a few minutes each side. To me it didn't matter if they broke apart but mainly they did stay in one piece.  They were served in the centre of a bed of a rocket/mache/oakleaf lettuce/ fresh coriander leaves salad. I let guests add their own dollop of natural yoghurt but I didn't have any sambal oelek (chilli base) to blend with it.

In addition I made a lentil salad - sauté gently finely sliced onions, garlic and ginger with brown sugar, add drained can of lentils, cumin and coriander, nutmeg or any other such spices, add tomato puree, lemon juice and chilli infused olive oil.

This lentil dish is one of my favourites as a bed for salmon. My guests had a bread free four course menu:

• Starter of paprika anchovies on a bed of potato salad with grated parmesan and strewn rocket.
• Goats cheese was served with oatcakes.
• Dessert was apricot compôte with lavender flowers, poured over commercial meringues as I am not clever enough to make them.

They didn't want coffee or tea so I had Rooibus tea once they had all gone home!  Lovely evening with little washing up as the prep work had all been done in the morning so the evening was largely a construction jobbie!