Up, down and rescued

I hate feeling 'down' but I had slept an extra three hours, after being 'up' and out at a beautiful concert the night before.  Today, I lay lazily in bed because it was so cold!  I'd lit the fire at 8h30 when CAT decided she wished to go out. Invitingly, warm bedlinen cossetted me, tea and toast!  After coffee, email and news updates, the mind was overwhelmed with thoughts trudging in the mire of my mind. I was needing to communicate, yet be alone.  Tasks and stuff seem to crave my mind for attention.  The stuff needs to be sorted, and sorted it is being, but it does seem to be a slow process at this stage.  Then I wonder is it all worth it! When maybe I wish to be out and about elsewhere but these responsibilities keep me tied to the security, saftey and haven of my poperty. Then, when I think that other stuff left here isn't mine, and that the person to whom it belongs has almost total freedom within that person's limited financial capacity then my mind becomes scrambled.

I am wondering what is next and how to achieve it! Planning is tricky!  I suppose I have been somewhat spoilt by having had somewhere here very part time in the last four years to help me.  Now gone!

A few days ago, all seemed positive whilst happiness and achievement surged whilst I amended and printed hard copies of writings stored on the laptop...
My story had started... but of course more paper only adds to that which is higgledy piggledy in boxes.  A jumbled mind creates a jumbled life or vice versa... yet, I am determined to get it done and also realise that perhaps I have a slight obsession with trying to keep rooms clear and as organised as I can be!  This is after years of muddle!

Ola! Knocking on my door was my dear friend. She is wonderful. I had just started to get a grip, having put on my jacket to go out (garden or road?) when I told myself to clear the washing / wiping up, so that the clean and tidy kitchen would be motivating on my return.  She came to invite me to accompany friends to a much-loved restaurant as she had to go to London.  How kind!  Then seeing me 'down' she invited me for 'moules and beer' for lunch! How very kind! How I hugged her!  Spirits were raised immediately. She said I had to get out! But getting out means I don't do the things I need to do and piles of stuff mount up and so it all becomes a vicious circle (in my head!)
As HER friend says " Don't worry about stuff, life is short, be with friends, have fun!"
I walked home before 4pm.
Apart from the small glass of red at the Theatre yesterday and the beer today I have managed one whole week without drinking alcohol at home!  I think I can have some with my meal at the restaurant!  But then when I met my friend's friend she had done alcohol free for 31 days of October....