Thinking I could have the energy to go shopping for sellotape, dishwasher cleaning products, and a desire for vanilla ice-cream to eat with stewed apples and pears I delayed until after 17h which pleased me, as hardly anyone was in the supermarket. I wanted fewer than a bagful of items. Another reason to go out was to drive my vehicle which had not been moved in the last 18 days. Unlike last time, everyone was wearing a mask of some kind and gloves, as I was. I was shocked to see the bank ATM filthy. I feel inclined to comment. I tried not to purchase too much but white asparagus and fresh carrots with their leaves were not passed by; expensive broccoli was.
I now feel less anxious.
Despite frequent daily short walks, indoor exercise to videos, gardening, financial and other admin, domestics I wonder where TIME goes. I didn't do it today, but have started to write an ACTIVITY RECORD with times of task started and finished and woops .... look how long I spent on the laptop trying to understand the news or doing Quick crosswords which I have improved at sometimes needing none or few checks and reveals or writing to friends and family. YAY!
The recording of time passing is a technique to try and instil some self discipline with focus on the task concentration.
Yesterday required the daisies to be mowed - glad I got that done before the splendid thunderstorm in the early hours of this morning. It was a splendid evening when I felt in love with my garden and France as I sat on bedrock facing the setting sun blaring into my eyes whilst I drank a glass of red with nightingales and blackbirds in chorus in the wilderness of shrubs in my neighbours land. I was in Memory Lane and thinking about friends and family in positive thought. Apart from this poarticular neighbour who fortunately lives two old properties along. She has 'the out of sight out of concern / attitude'. Shes has lied to me nurmerous times , making promises to do the work for five years and more, teeling me she is 'responsable'. I love the wilderness of all lands around me but she has neglected the nuisance acacia tree pushing growth from the stump which is not dead, despite my best efforts to kill it. This is after she paid the landscape gardener to cut down the very high tree so completing in a sense her civil duty... Friends tried to cut the main roots of the 50 cm high stump. Difficult as the soil is full of old brickworks. Her wall has still not been rebuilt. I shall try with legal aid once some form of normality surfaces and try to force her to take responsibility. Pigs may fly! I am not the only one to complain about her.
I could get the work done myself at cost. I did once get a invoice... The man would have to crane the mini digger over a wall and drive it to the next part of two other owner's lands and then take down my / or the neighbours old crumbly wired fence to pull out the trunk and then rebuild her wall. I would spend my money on this and attempt to reclaim it from her if it ws all done in the correct CIVIL LAW order.
During the last week I listened to some counselling style world webinars. I shall not mention their famous names but there were interesting nuggets to consider.
Wednesday, I found my mind ensconced in writing a lengthy poem about the virus which resulted from a need to write about the dreams that had happened that very morning.
My poem is called "Poetry in Time of a Lockdown" not reproduced here!
The dreams.
One was a second dream about an insect... different from the first. In the second the insect has frog feet suctioned feet... on three legs which are high than the 6 legs of the insect... so, it is like a robot and so can twist and turn and run rapidly which is what itr was doing, looking for prey. A man with a handkerchief deftly scoops it up. Someone opens the door. He takes it back to a very watery marsh - its natural habitat, but like the development of water animals into humans or so some theories taught us, this insect can live on land too , if it needs to. It can mutate!
One was a second dream about an open wound which revealed flesh but was not bleeding and needed to be stitched. The first on my stomach, was like the shape of an eye drawn closed with long eyelashes. The second on my inner thigh, was about 5cm long. In the second dream it was super-glued together!
Some people have called or contacted me. Some I have contacted. Some I have tried to distance from so that I don't get worked up, worry and think about other people when there is nothing I can do to help or support them. This I find frustrating. Most of my life, I have been the one to look after others and being in isolation since before lockdown has taken its toll on me!
I am ready to listen and often too opinionated.
Nature is a boon at the moment and has been THE most wonderful Spring time I can ever remember, or maybe it's just that I have more time and understanding to appreciate March and April.
It was 27C during the week.
The smell of Wisteria has been exquisite.
I had never noticed this white wisteria with the red roses on a house just around the corner. The owners have not arrived so the beauty hangs whilst the shutters on door and windows are closed. Purple wisteria are at two other houses along the road. One is unoccupied and the one with the yellow fairy roses is such a pretty sight.
No comments:
Post a Comment
It would be lovely to hear what you think.