Counting from the Second Speech of M. Macron.
Gosh... Time has flown and this is now mid afternoon - 16h.
This morning a planned scheduled call with my Italian friend as we haven't spoken since November lasted an hour, then two friends facetimed and called and then an older lady who I have not seen for a while checked that I have people to help me do the shopping etc whilst I am isolated. How really kind!
So I made a note of her telephone number. Currently I am self sufficient and if I need to go out I will.
The woodburner has gone out so I think some fresh air in the very cold outdoor air is required!
90 minutes later: The rambling prickly David Austen roses on the wall are cut back hard so they are not overhanging by 1 metre or more and catching on the wasking on the line nor in my face.
Sadly, I have cut back the self seeded Hollyhocks ... left about three.
Plenty of cuttings and more for the bonfire in the oil drum which I tried to light as it is full but NOPE.. it still will not catch!
17h30. I shall take a walk to the bottle bank before I empty more wine bottles in need of keeping spirits up... and indeed I did and jogged back 400m.. Not bad!
It is very nice to know I have been remembered today, even if others also have a need to speak and be cared for.
Late at night for me...ok only 9h30 but i was cold and ready for bed....
another surprising call from a nomadic soul!!!!!!!! So we spoke for an hour... herm???????
Thursday 26 March 2020
Wednesday 25 March 2020
Day 9: Lockdown in France
Wednesday 25th March 2020
DAY 9 of Confinement to 'La Maison'.
The Merits of Gardening
I've been wishing to write about this but of course the merits are well known.
Indeed, I started to write about it, but, gardening itself has occupied and exhausted, yet energised thinking, 'as if it needs any more', some of you who know me will say.
I tend to overthink most things.
The excellent weather has enabled work on the land for necessary weeding and clearance of very long grass growing in the wrong place for my intentions.
Yesterday, and today, a bitter cold northerly wind blows through the clear blue sky with the sun trying to warm the ground.
Toil for TODAY was delayed by depression and dalliance and an attempt at an afternoon nap despite 4 + 4.5 hours of very good sleep the night before when only one hour awake in between the sleep modes occurred.
At 5pm I decided I was going to prune roses but in fact I chose to start moving the freevery dry logs I acquired a few weeks ago which have been covered by several layers of plastic. Circumstances left them there longer than anticipated. Just after 7pm I had cleared up and beingh sweaty on account of wearing four layers, + a fleece, plus the Dannimac assigned to work clothing, I headed for the bath and to wash my hair, which always makes me feel better!
I'll post pics another time!
DAY 9 of Confinement to 'La Maison'.
The Merits of Gardening
I've been wishing to write about this but of course the merits are well known.
Indeed, I started to write about it, but, gardening itself has occupied and exhausted, yet energised thinking, 'as if it needs any more', some of you who know me will say.
I tend to overthink most things.
The excellent weather has enabled work on the land for necessary weeding and clearance of very long grass growing in the wrong place for my intentions.
Yesterday, and today, a bitter cold northerly wind blows through the clear blue sky with the sun trying to warm the ground.
Toil for TODAY was delayed by depression and dalliance and an attempt at an afternoon nap despite 4 + 4.5 hours of very good sleep the night before when only one hour awake in between the sleep modes occurred.
At 5pm I decided I was going to prune roses but in fact I chose to start moving the freevery dry logs I acquired a few weeks ago which have been covered by several layers of plastic. Circumstances left them there longer than anticipated. Just after 7pm I had cleared up and beingh sweaty on account of wearing four layers, + a fleece, plus the Dannimac assigned to work clothing, I headed for the bath and to wash my hair, which always makes me feel better!
I'll post pics another time!
Tuesday 24 March 2020
DAY 8: Lockdown in France
Tuesday 24th March 2020
Out to the village shop at 9h before the queues! I am second. We are outside. I wait a metre plus distance. The next lady is a little nearer than I wish. It's enough, but I wrap my scarf around my face. A dog wanders. I later know where it has come from - let out 'tout seule' to do its business. This is not right! Shame on that establishment. They have a courtyard!
The masked proprietor serves veg and fruit from a cordoned zone. I progress into the shop, forget to choose eggs, find yoghurts but no tonic water. There are taped lines on the floor. No sub-postal service. A plastic screen divides the masked proprietaire / la cassiére who weighs and calculates the amount. I buy half a 'baguette en graines'. The bar is closed. I exit the other door and proceed to the village bakery to collect an order of two loaves of rye bread - looks good and is warm, larger than envisaged, but each is cut in half, bagged and frozen. Treating myself, I buy a 'pain aux raisins'.
I prepped a washbowl and towel before I departed so could wash hands before I opened the kitchen door. I've been near no one.
Cold with clear, blue sky and a keen wind, I decide to rest my shoulders, a little sore, keep the housework under control, inform myself of news and type this. Kindling and logs are gathered in but must not light the woodburner until the evening.
Leaning on the gate, verifying there has been no postal delivery, a neighbour comes to chat... he on the other side of the road. Children are following online mathematics for morning schoolwork. His wife is online teaching her pupils. He is doing photo work at his next village workshop in the morning and gardening in the afternoon. He hopes gendarmes will not confine him to this village. We talk about the importance of mental health. He has ordered seeds to sow.
Next, a villager passes, home from essential laboratory employment. I didn't know he did that! Likewise stops to chat...thinks this will continue to the end of April. "On verra" - we shall see...
I return to a cold indoors. It was warm in the sunshine at my gate. I like to wait and look though no one is about!
After lunch I fork-dig and weed the hardest part of the strip and is a bit strong on the legs! I move one of the roses which had been struggling, it was too crowded by a spiky plant.
I move yellow raspberry canes to a row near the one gooseberry plant where I can string their support. SO... I could now do the difficult trask of organising the roses on the stone wall as they lurch and snag me.
I know little about pruning but have been pruning dead stems and thinning out crossed ones and ones too croeded. Various other small tasks done.
It's time to mow again, time to see what OLD SEEDS might grow.
Time to mow the other plot.
Time to get myself better organised admin wise indoors.
Phwew... so glad i did not have to go to UK for 5 weeks ... have been saved in the garden at least, though disappointed not to have family fun. All will MUST be well.
Out to the village shop at 9h before the queues! I am second. We are outside. I wait a metre plus distance. The next lady is a little nearer than I wish. It's enough, but I wrap my scarf around my face. A dog wanders. I later know where it has come from - let out 'tout seule' to do its business. This is not right! Shame on that establishment. They have a courtyard!
The masked proprietor serves veg and fruit from a cordoned zone. I progress into the shop, forget to choose eggs, find yoghurts but no tonic water. There are taped lines on the floor. No sub-postal service. A plastic screen divides the masked proprietaire / la cassiére who weighs and calculates the amount. I buy half a 'baguette en graines'. The bar is closed. I exit the other door and proceed to the village bakery to collect an order of two loaves of rye bread - looks good and is warm, larger than envisaged, but each is cut in half, bagged and frozen. Treating myself, I buy a 'pain aux raisins'.
I prepped a washbowl and towel before I departed so could wash hands before I opened the kitchen door. I've been near no one.
Cold with clear, blue sky and a keen wind, I decide to rest my shoulders, a little sore, keep the housework under control, inform myself of news and type this. Kindling and logs are gathered in but must not light the woodburner until the evening.
Leaning on the gate, verifying there has been no postal delivery, a neighbour comes to chat... he on the other side of the road. Children are following online mathematics for morning schoolwork. His wife is online teaching her pupils. He is doing photo work at his next village workshop in the morning and gardening in the afternoon. He hopes gendarmes will not confine him to this village. We talk about the importance of mental health. He has ordered seeds to sow.
Next, a villager passes, home from essential laboratory employment. I didn't know he did that! Likewise stops to chat...thinks this will continue to the end of April. "On verra" - we shall see...
I return to a cold indoors. It was warm in the sunshine at my gate. I like to wait and look though no one is about!
After lunch I fork-dig and weed the hardest part of the strip and is a bit strong on the legs! I move one of the roses which had been struggling, it was too crowded by a spiky plant.
I move yellow raspberry canes to a row near the one gooseberry plant where I can string their support. SO... I could now do the difficult trask of organising the roses on the stone wall as they lurch and snag me.
I know little about pruning but have been pruning dead stems and thinning out crossed ones and ones too croeded. Various other small tasks done.
It's time to mow again, time to see what OLD SEEDS might grow.
Time to mow the other plot.
Time to get myself better organised admin wise indoors.
Phwew... so glad i did not have to go to UK for 5 weeks ... have been saved in the garden at least, though disappointed not to have family fun. All will MUST be well.
Monday 23 March 2020
DAY 7: Lockdown in France
Monday 23rd March 2020
I started about 10h working for about 30 minutes or so, resting likewise, a little anxious when legs felt wobbly, infrequent compared to past years, or when, in the afternoon mild anger or resentment arose with tears momentarily pouring forth.
There is conflict, pain and non understanding in my mind for what could have been and isn't.
The Nature of Psychology, People & Living!
There was the inverse sentiment of JOY for being outdoors, ignoring indoor tasks.
Those indoor tasks are more difficult and too challenging when I need a kick up the butt to get them done. I would feel better if I took the bull by the horns. I am the bull. Actually, I am the Cancerian crab scuttling to and fro!
The sentiments are of feeling proud at the physical challenge which I could not complete last year or the years before, when then, I had to stop every minute or 5 or 10, when the mind wandered to what I had to do elsewhere and go get it done before I forgot. I was neither mindful or able in mind or body to do the simplest of gardening or domestic tasks, preferring to wait for the gardener to help with the land management. In the house it mostly required a huge elephantine force. Sometimes though when I was forced to work as with an imminent Airbnb booking a huge rush of energy would prevail and people would be surprised at how fast I moved.
I like being outdoors BUT indoor tasks need motivation and determination.
Now... is my happy moment - Time to Be.
Time when I need not anticipate to go anywhere, nor hope for anyone to arrive, not that few do.
There are Imposed Restrictions.
It is strange that when there were no imposed restrictions, I wasn't happy to see no one and wasn't happy to not go places, when I longed to be travelling and envied those who could and were.
So I feel as if I am brought a kind of contentment ...
mostly during the day because at night, anxiety wakes me from slumber.
I've been digging, forking, weeding, pruning, writing, typing.
The ability to wander around the mowed, but needing to be mowed 25m2 or more grasslan is 'work pleasure'. I problem solve for the mounting volume of pulled weeds ,as I don't like to see garden waste and as far as I know I cannot get to the decheterie. So it's now on black plastic sheet on the one quarter of veggie plot that I had mowed over, hoping not to cultivate.
By 15h I had forked and weeded half the 25m length of rose bed having previously pulled. by hand much of the very long grass variety and weeds as I could. At 17h I stopped with another 6 metres to do.
Later, I listened to the cuckoo in stronger voice.
I started about 10h working for about 30 minutes or so, resting likewise, a little anxious when legs felt wobbly, infrequent compared to past years, or when, in the afternoon mild anger or resentment arose with tears momentarily pouring forth.
There is conflict, pain and non understanding in my mind for what could have been and isn't.
The Nature of Psychology, People & Living!
There was the inverse sentiment of JOY for being outdoors, ignoring indoor tasks.
Those indoor tasks are more difficult and too challenging when I need a kick up the butt to get them done. I would feel better if I took the bull by the horns. I am the bull. Actually, I am the Cancerian crab scuttling to and fro!
The sentiments are of feeling proud at the physical challenge which I could not complete last year or the years before, when then, I had to stop every minute or 5 or 10, when the mind wandered to what I had to do elsewhere and go get it done before I forgot. I was neither mindful or able in mind or body to do the simplest of gardening or domestic tasks, preferring to wait for the gardener to help with the land management. In the house it mostly required a huge elephantine force. Sometimes though when I was forced to work as with an imminent Airbnb booking a huge rush of energy would prevail and people would be surprised at how fast I moved.
I like being outdoors BUT indoor tasks need motivation and determination.
Now... is my happy moment - Time to Be.
Time when I need not anticipate to go anywhere, nor hope for anyone to arrive, not that few do.
There are Imposed Restrictions.
It is strange that when there were no imposed restrictions, I wasn't happy to see no one and wasn't happy to not go places, when I longed to be travelling and envied those who could and were.
So I feel as if I am brought a kind of contentment ...
mostly during the day because at night, anxiety wakes me from slumber.
I've been digging, forking, weeding, pruning, writing, typing.
The ability to wander around the mowed, but needing to be mowed 25m2 or more grasslan is 'work pleasure'. I problem solve for the mounting volume of pulled weeds ,as I don't like to see garden waste and as far as I know I cannot get to the decheterie. So it's now on black plastic sheet on the one quarter of veggie plot that I had mowed over, hoping not to cultivate.
By 15h I had forked and weeded half the 25m length of rose bed having previously pulled. by hand much of the very long grass variety and weeds as I could. At 17h I stopped with another 6 metres to do.
Later, I listened to the cuckoo in stronger voice.
Sunday 22 March 2020
SPRING: Day 6: Lockdown in France
Sunday 22 March 2020
Yesterday, as I surveyed the rear garden at 18h30, my ears registered the sound just as it stopped. Ah!
CUCKOO in the distance. I waited. No more call. A cuckoo-sort-of-shape fluttered from the place it sounded from. Later about 19h10, whilst contemplating my privilege to have a front gate onto the road, onto which I can lean and look out, at the empty street, a black cat that I've seen before, was the only movement. I called to it, but the whipping tail signalled it did not wish to approach. It sloped up the slope looking back, knowing nothing of the health crisis in the world.
Before I closed the gate, there it was again. In the far distance, in the direction of which the bird had flown, just the once was 'CUCKOO!' Oh JOY!
Yesterday, I decided to restart blogging so made the DIARY COVID19 entries and have backdated and back published them!
I thought to start a handwritten journal, but typing allows me to edit so here I am resurrecting this BLOG - I had forgotten how to access and edit it. Plus a long time ago all my links to other websites I followed disappeared.
I have plenty to do but this fulfils creativity and a need to communicate my thoughts Perhaps better than communicating daily diary events elsewhere and to others bringing further boredom to all who are self isolating! Let us see where it goes.
Today.... Noon
This morning I completed the ATTESTATION DÉPLACEMENT DÉROGATOIRE on the back. I shall do this for each OUTING. I am saving paper!
This morning, I posted a letter, in the hope there will be a collection tomorrow but I can't buy international stamps until TUESDAY when the village shop reopens. Yes I know I could go online and print some but I will not as I don't have blank sticky labels.
No oysters. I have a feeling 'open markets' have been cancelled! My friend had alluded to this possibility and something I read mentioned this regarding PARIS. ( Later confirned ... thye will be allowed at each MAYOR's discretion.
What happens to food unable to be distributed by sellers to consumers? ... or to fresh produce and food in closed down restaurants etc in fridges, freezers, store cupboards, to the businesses of middle men as we used to call them bringing fruit, veg , meat, fish etc from fields and farms inland and by rivers and coastal waters ... so will it rot where it is?
Society, economy, and infrastructure systems are truly going to break down .... the world will change as we know it! People will lose their jobs and have insufficient money for rents and mortgages!
A woman was behind me ... I turned and waved Bonjour, kept on walking - someone I haven't seen for 18 months or so... she entered the boulangerie.
I walked the Queue du Renard.. a narrow lane - a man I did not know veered left, then right to keep the biggest distance. I spoke 'Bonjour;' - he replied, but it was as if even French courtesy was breaking down.
I walked through woodland and returned to climb the slope, stretch calves, jog half way around the camping van flat tarmacspace, (good idea), choosing a sightly different return route. Madame Boulangere is wearing her mask today. Yesterday she did not!
I think there should only be one at a time in that small space.
I was out for 25 minutes - but had warmed up. Only one vehicle was travelling in that time.
The weather has turned colder.
This afternoon, almost three hours of more weeding / pruning but where to dispose of it all!!!
Tomorrow will start to fork over and weed what's left that I couldn't pull by hand.
There is 25m x 1.80 m to tackle ... then I shall be able to put the grass mulch on the soil. I might move some of the lavender as when in flower they straddle the lawn and make mowing tricky. I also ought to look at number 13 and decide when to do the first mow with the petrol mower.... 50 m by 12m strips! Good slow walking!!!!!!
Tonight I ate roasted red peppers stuffed with precooked rice, garlic, onion, walnuts, sun-dried tomato, goat cheese and roasted sweet potato with Fitou. Plenty for tomorrow too!
Yesterday, as I surveyed the rear garden at 18h30, my ears registered the sound just as it stopped. Ah!
CUCKOO in the distance. I waited. No more call. A cuckoo-sort-of-shape fluttered from the place it sounded from. Later about 19h10, whilst contemplating my privilege to have a front gate onto the road, onto which I can lean and look out, at the empty street, a black cat that I've seen before, was the only movement. I called to it, but the whipping tail signalled it did not wish to approach. It sloped up the slope looking back, knowing nothing of the health crisis in the world.
Before I closed the gate, there it was again. In the far distance, in the direction of which the bird had flown, just the once was 'CUCKOO!' Oh JOY!
Yesterday, I decided to restart blogging so made the DIARY COVID19 entries and have backdated and back published them!
I thought to start a handwritten journal, but typing allows me to edit so here I am resurrecting this BLOG - I had forgotten how to access and edit it. Plus a long time ago all my links to other websites I followed disappeared.
I have plenty to do but this fulfils creativity and a need to communicate my thoughts Perhaps better than communicating daily diary events elsewhere and to others bringing further boredom to all who are self isolating! Let us see where it goes.
Today.... Noon
This morning I completed the ATTESTATION DÉPLACEMENT DÉROGATOIRE on the back. I shall do this for each OUTING. I am saving paper!
This morning, I posted a letter, in the hope there will be a collection tomorrow but I can't buy international stamps until TUESDAY when the village shop reopens. Yes I know I could go online and print some but I will not as I don't have blank sticky labels.
No oysters. I have a feeling 'open markets' have been cancelled! My friend had alluded to this possibility and something I read mentioned this regarding PARIS. ( Later confirned ... thye will be allowed at each MAYOR's discretion.
What happens to food unable to be distributed by sellers to consumers? ... or to fresh produce and food in closed down restaurants etc in fridges, freezers, store cupboards, to the businesses of middle men as we used to call them bringing fruit, veg , meat, fish etc from fields and farms inland and by rivers and coastal waters ... so will it rot where it is?
Society, economy, and infrastructure systems are truly going to break down .... the world will change as we know it! People will lose their jobs and have insufficient money for rents and mortgages!
A woman was behind me ... I turned and waved Bonjour, kept on walking - someone I haven't seen for 18 months or so... she entered the boulangerie.
I walked the Queue du Renard.. a narrow lane - a man I did not know veered left, then right to keep the biggest distance. I spoke 'Bonjour;' - he replied, but it was as if even French courtesy was breaking down.
I walked through woodland and returned to climb the slope, stretch calves, jog half way around the camping van flat tarmacspace, (good idea), choosing a sightly different return route. Madame Boulangere is wearing her mask today. Yesterday she did not!
I think there should only be one at a time in that small space.
I was out for 25 minutes - but had warmed up. Only one vehicle was travelling in that time.
The weather has turned colder.
This afternoon, almost three hours of more weeding / pruning but where to dispose of it all!!!
Tomorrow will start to fork over and weed what's left that I couldn't pull by hand.
There is 25m x 1.80 m to tackle ... then I shall be able to put the grass mulch on the soil. I might move some of the lavender as when in flower they straddle the lawn and make mowing tricky. I also ought to look at number 13 and decide when to do the first mow with the petrol mower.... 50 m by 12m strips! Good slow walking!!!!!!
Tonight I ate roasted red peppers stuffed with precooked rice, garlic, onion, walnuts, sun-dried tomato, goat cheese and roasted sweet potato with Fitou. Plenty for tomorrow too!
Saturday 21 March 2020
SPRING: Day 5: Lockdown in France
Saturday... I was up late...
I have not dreamed for more than two years. Recently, faces that I don't know I came and went for nanoseconds but no dreams. THEN, this morning I had a dream with moving images.
This is surprising because in 2017 I realised it was unusual, when I told someone i had no moving or still images, colours, patterns in my mind.
I wanted to remember the imagery so I wrote to a friend:
I have not dreamed for more than two years. Recently, faces that I don't know I came and went for nanoseconds but no dreams. THEN, this morning I had a dream with moving images.
This is surprising because in 2017 I realised it was unusual, when I told someone i had no moving or still images, colours, patterns in my mind.
I wanted to remember the imagery so I wrote to a friend:
I awoke at 10h30 from a dream about death:
Climbing high rugged natural rock formation vestiges from ancient Moroccan style, we arrived at a cleaned room-like cell - the reverse of an underground chamber. We were waiting for a person to bring the coffin. Eventually, the person spoken about who had never been there before, arrives with a tiny coffin, carried under her arm. I say aloud "mine will be even smaller". We followed. She placed it into the tomb. The coffin or the grave headstones had skull and crossbones 'plague' image on it . That's because I'd watched a video about this the night before! Then we had to descend. Like falling vertically from The Alhambra Citadel we had to drop to the ground from this high place, as we were in a kind of cathedral.
I could see others stand, step forward, fall, hear the sound of hitting the floor, but they seemed to survive!. I asked how and why they could walk away. I was told I could do it if I stopped crying. I stopped, stood, stepped forwards into the empty space and fell slowly, slowly, slowly, skimming the side of the wall with the back of my vertical body - the floor was soft! There was a stall selling death talismans. I looked but wandered off to the front of the cathedral, looked back to whence I had been.........................
Climbing high rugged natural rock formation vestiges from ancient Moroccan style, we arrived at a cleaned room-like cell - the reverse of an underground chamber. We were waiting for a person to bring the coffin. Eventually, the person spoken about who had never been there before, arrives with a tiny coffin, carried under her arm. I say aloud "mine will be even smaller". We followed. She placed it into the tomb. The coffin or the grave headstones had skull and crossbones 'plague' image on it . That's because I'd watched a video about this the night before! Then we had to descend. Like falling vertically from The Alhambra Citadel we had to drop to the ground from this high place, as we were in a kind of cathedral.
I could see others stand, step forward, fall, hear the sound of hitting the floor, but they seemed to survive!. I asked how and why they could walk away. I was told I could do it if I stopped crying. I stopped, stood, stepped forwards into the empty space and fell slowly, slowly, slowly, skimming the side of the wall with the back of my vertical body - the floor was soft! There was a stall selling death talismans. I looked but wandered off to the front of the cathedral, looked back to whence I had been.........................
That was an incredible in my mind
a) to have a dream after such long years of dream famine.
b) not so strange given the numbers of deaths and my fear for others than myself for death from Coronavirus 19.
I think I am in safe confinement here! Meanwhile, the future personal immune system may not be immune, as we are not building immunity against infection.
a) to have a dream after such long years of dream famine.
b) not so strange given the numbers of deaths and my fear for others than myself for death from Coronavirus 19.
I think I am in safe confinement here! Meanwhile, the future personal immune system may not be immune, as we are not building immunity against infection.
I filled in my ATTESTATION form deciding to visit the village boulangerie and asked if she could order bread for me. I needed 'pain au noix, seigle, chataignier, nordique, épautre.' ..
I ordered two rye. She agreed the complét is too aggressive for diverticulosis. I was honest I said that despite my wish to support village commerce her bread upset my digestion! I bought two cakes which fortunately don't cause a problem apart from sugar load! As it is UK Mother's day tomorrow I need a treat!
I walked to the river and back. The village has been awarded three flowers for a floral town and village award. I can think of better floral towns but I have to admit these bridge troughs were looking pretty.
In the afternoon i worked at two more hours pruning roses and lavender with weeding in between before the weather changes. To date since Tuesday I've worked in the garden 9 hours. Two weeks ago I did 16 hours in 2 days deep Spring cleaning of my house, but I can be physically lazy on some days. It's OK to feel proud when last year and the year before gardening was so difficult I employed the gardener. Thank goodness I found the osteopath but now she is closed by the government unless URGENT. The level of urgency might be less than for another but nonetheless important. I must be careful to manage the illiposas , back and legs... the mind too as this is affected by the illopsoas muscle.
In the afternoon i worked at two more hours pruning roses and lavender with weeding in between before the weather changes. To date since Tuesday I've worked in the garden 9 hours. Two weeks ago I did 16 hours in 2 days deep Spring cleaning of my house, but I can be physically lazy on some days. It's OK to feel proud when last year and the year before gardening was so difficult I employed the gardener. Thank goodness I found the osteopath but now she is closed by the government unless URGENT. The level of urgency might be less than for another but nonetheless important. I must be careful to manage the illiposas , back and legs... the mind too as this is affected by the illopsoas muscle.
 |
| A beautiful willow tree has fallen |
Friday 20 March 2020
SPRING: DAY 4 - Lockdown in France
Thursday 19th March 2020:
LOCKDOWN DAY 3: Taking 2 hours and more with breaks I weeded the gravel in the previous chicken coop. In the heat of summer I like to hide in here for a nap! Weeding was a big job despite being somewhat done in October 2019. Back breaking 'un peu'!
LOCKDOWN DAY 3: Taking 2 hours and more with breaks I weeded the gravel in the previous chicken coop. In the heat of summer I like to hide in here for a nap! Weeding was a big job despite being somewhat done in October 2019. Back breaking 'un peu'!
 |
| Removed dense weeds & grass +moss on old concrete and ivy on fence / walls |
 |
| Under the blue bache is free dry wood weighted with metal chairs. I cannot buy 2-stroke for chainsaw. |
 |
An old plastic table saves itself from the dechetterie for just a little longer and faces the sun.
A tablecloth will create comfort to sit, work, meditate, as no neighbours live across the boundary. The grass, not a lawn, has had its first mow.
|
Thursday 19 March 2020
SPRING: Day 3: Lockdown in France
In honour of DAVID HOCKNEY - a most wondrous artist - I hope he does not mind my admiration.
https://www.theartnewspaper.com/comment/a-message-from-david-hockney-do-remember-they-can-t-cancel-the-spring
These are my daffodils on their last days since they bloomed over 4 weeks ago, earlier than last year and lasting longer.
The Vernal Equinox Springs happened today and I look forward to longer days and warmer weather. Clocks will spring forward next weekend for some reason not this weekend. The Sun's path aligns with the Earth's equator and illuminates the northern and southern hemispheres of the Earth equally.
Lockdown in France - Day 3: 19 th March 2020
I forced myself to weed the strip of land by the barn wall ... it is not my barn...where wire to keep roses attached the wall has broken in part. My pruning of previous years has not been good. I spent about two hours doing this and without gloves encountered nettles forcing me to wear the rubber gloves. The roses also snagged my hair! That evening my shoulders ached. I slept well into Saturday morning, having disturbed sleep as usual!
It now needs to be dug over before I can mulch it with the mowings of the grass! I would love the broken concrete sections of the path to be dug up!
BUT currently under part of the sheltered abri I can store the weeds that I don't know how to dispose of because I cant get them into the Kangoo. I can't really travel as it is non essential and the decheterie may be closed!
Maybe if the growing pile of weeds dries out I could burn it but me thinks it is more than likely to start to ferment!!!
I think I may have to strew it on one section of the four quarters of the potager... never mind the look!
These are my daffodils on their last days since they bloomed over 4 weeks ago, earlier than last year and lasting longer. 
Lockdown in France - Day 3: 19 th March 2020
I forced myself to weed the strip of land by the barn wall ... it is not my barn...where wire to keep roses attached the wall has broken in part. My pruning of previous years has not been good. I spent about two hours doing this and without gloves encountered nettles forcing me to wear the rubber gloves. The roses also snagged my hair! That evening my shoulders ached. I slept well into Saturday morning, having disturbed sleep as usual!
It now needs to be dug over before I can mulch it with the mowings of the grass! I would love the broken concrete sections of the path to be dug up!
BUT currently under part of the sheltered abri I can store the weeds that I don't know how to dispose of because I cant get them into the Kangoo. I can't really travel as it is non essential and the decheterie may be closed!
Maybe if the growing pile of weeds dries out I could burn it but me thinks it is more than likely to start to ferment!!!
I think I may have to strew it on one section of the four quarters of the potager... never mind the look!
Wednesday 18 March 2020
SPRING: DAY 2: Lockdown in France
 |
| Daisies White reflect the buckthorn and plum blossom before mowing |
Now though......the osteopath has cancelled!
I am very proud and pleased that NOW I can sit here, face the sun, or if inclined I can jog around the garden for exercise.
I know I may have to cut it twice a week!
I know there is more grass to mow at the other property.
Will the gardener be able to come?
I am tired but happy so far!
Tuesday 17 March 2020
SPRING: Day 1: Lockdown in France
Lockdown dawned in the afternoon of Tuesday 17th March 2020 which I shall count as Day 1.
In the morning, I wondered if my gardener would come as the grass was wet!
It needed to be mowed. He came. We discussed tasks.
In the morning, I wondered if my gardener would come as the grass was wet!
It needed to be mowed. He came. We discussed tasks.
He helped carry three fallen fence panels. I supplied the claw hammer. He pulled them apart. They are too far gone to be re-erected. The 7-year old larch panels were never installed properly!
I organised, he dug, we buried domestic compost collected which I'd put in the black poubelle since October. We raked it to pull back the soil to make it more level at each end. I like to think 20C temperature will rot down the turned over, dug in weeds and grass.
I should have kept him longer than an hour and a quarter.
I don't think he can come every Tuesday!
As he departed I saw my Parisian neighbour staying at a distance across the road. Strange, I thought! I knew we had to keep one metre distance but this has now been extended to up to 3 metres! We chatted ... he explained he had left Paris before midday, as in a Parisian apartment with no school there is no garden for 2 teenage boys! Work was cancelled too! They could do more here!
At the same time I opened my post box,,, it contained an example of the ATTESTATION DÉPLACEMENT DÉROGATOIRE.
I must fill in the form for each departure from my property and land. I must indicate one of the five reasons to be out and about. I have decided to stay put and be in self isolation!
The Light Dawns ... in earnest, I begin to be more and more on the internet to follow UK and French coronavirus 19 regulations and restrictions.
I am well used to social and information isolation over the last 15 years of Life in France.
This will be a similar but different challenge.
I feel equipped to cope.
I organised, he dug, we buried domestic compost collected which I'd put in the black poubelle since October. We raked it to pull back the soil to make it more level at each end. I like to think 20C temperature will rot down the turned over, dug in weeds and grass.
I should have kept him longer than an hour and a quarter.
I don't think he can come every Tuesday!
As he departed I saw my Parisian neighbour staying at a distance across the road. Strange, I thought! I knew we had to keep one metre distance but this has now been extended to up to 3 metres! We chatted ... he explained he had left Paris before midday, as in a Parisian apartment with no school there is no garden for 2 teenage boys! Work was cancelled too! They could do more here!
At the same time I opened my post box,,, it contained an example of the ATTESTATION DÉPLACEMENT DÉROGATOIRE.
I must fill in the form for each departure from my property and land. I must indicate one of the five reasons to be out and about. I have decided to stay put and be in self isolation!
The Light Dawns ... in earnest, I begin to be more and more on the internet to follow UK and French coronavirus 19 regulations and restrictions.
I am well used to social and information isolation over the last 15 years of Life in France.
This will be a similar but different challenge.
I feel equipped to cope.
SPRING 2020 DAY 0:: Pre Complete Lockdown in France
I shall count today as DAY 0: Lockdown in France
As I live a solitary life without television, but with internet, it is sometimes difficult to keep informed!
Aware that a speech had been made by the French Prime Minister on Thursday 12th March, I should have realised that a strict 15-day lockdown would require us to remain at home. This came into greater effect at midday Tuesday 17th March after a second speech by M. Macron, lawfully proposing confinement and closing many non-food shops and businesses to curb the coronavirus spread.
As I live a solitary life without television, but with internet, it is sometimes difficult to keep informed!
Aware that a speech had been made by the French Prime Minister on Thursday 12th March, I should have realised that a strict 15-day lockdown would require us to remain at home. This came into greater effect at midday Tuesday 17th March after a second speech by M. Macron, lawfully proposing confinement and closing many non-food shops and businesses to curb the coronavirus spread.
On Thursday 12th March 2020 - an English friend decided we wouldn't be able to go to Poitiers Thursday 19th March. It was later that I realised shops would be closed.
When she suggested a game of Scrabble with Gin & Tonic for Saturday, I was very enthusiastic. We kept a distance. She washed her hands on entry to the house. I didn't know she hadn't ever played before. Surprising for someone with an English degree. Latching on to the two-letter word list she came a very close second - we covered the board and had a good combined score. I planned to go shopping after she had departed for the afternoon but with one G&T on board and only an hour ish before the supermarket closed, it was wise to wait until Monday!
However, Monday 16th March was the eve of the SECOND Prime Ministerial speech. I did not know this! Schools had been closed. Non-food enterprises had been closed. I was too late to purchase 2 stroke for the chainsaw! Too late for electrical parts for my delayed/delayed/delayed hand-made pottery lamp base at pottery lessons ... still not fired since Christmas. I am sure it will become too dry to fire! At the crowded supermarket Reality dawned! Beyond my control!
Shopping - I didn't need much - eggs, yoghurt, butter, milk, vegetables, fruit. essentials and then store cupboard foods and firelighters. I managed to spend 127 euros including wine. Despite saying to myself 'leave for others' I did return after about 30 minutes or so to the toilet roll aisle, to take one of the last four packets, deciding I too was deserving.
I filled the Kangoo with diesel. I returned home feeling rather sad for the impending doom of not normal conditions for everyone.
The street seemed more empty - more emptier than normal, if it is possible to be MORE, when Empty cannot really be more Empty.
Saturday 31 August 2019
I am with the demonstrators in heart, mind and soul.
Today
Demonstrations are taking place across the UK against Boris Johnson's decision to suspend Parliament in the run-up to Brexit. (MY thanks to internet media for photos)
I say:
GET HIM and HIS ORGANISERS OUT. OUT. OUT.
he is a boxing fighter / a fighting boxer ... see the action of his fists...
Neighbours were correct to call the Police some time ago....
there could have been someone else in the house causing his girlfriend to scream....
and if it was him then SHAME on him.
He uses BULLY TACTICS, deception, arrogance, narcissism and much more to line his pockets and those of others.... to line his self esteem.
BUT I am no the only one to think he shows disdain and contempt for my country, as in Great Britain and its British / European Citizens and its Peoples (within ethnic groups)
There is only one way down from a pedestal for any narcissist or any one who thinks he is above justice.
Today, there is a protest demonstration and as I can't be there, this is my DEMONSTRATION. I speak out on this platform.
I am a simple person, having been naive most of my life, perhaps still am, yearn for PEACE in SOCIETY and RESPECT between individuals.
Whether Brexit is right or wrong it is not democratic and never has been, in my opinion.
I AM with those who fight for DEMOCRACY.
I AM with those who fight for JUSTICE and PEACE between NATIONS, who are also against the rise of far right and continued capitalism,
but,
I am not in support of those who create political and economic activistic, aggressive, social media abuse whilst stirring against religion, faith, etc on social and otherwise media.
There is no one right way for relationships to be healthy, yet, plenty of wrong ways to make unhealthy relationships. And Society starts with two people to understand each other, to communicate and respect each other and this then grows into a Nation where there has to be negotiation and compromise or chaos, unrest, unhappiness and death.
I am imperfect.
Aware of that truth, I will continue a struggle for decency, respect, tolerance, where opinions can be voiced but not where everyone thinks they are entitled to laud over another.
In my opinion, the 2016 voting results for BREXIT or REMAIN of 51% and 49%, were flawed.
Flawed because it was:
unrecorded as to what percentage of voters did not vote
unrecorded as to what percentage of voters voted but spoiled their ballot paper possibly because the wording could be unclear to some and they did not understand the question or implications
UK citizens were told lies
UK citizens, like me, did not understand the HISTORY of how we arrived at that point in 2016.
I voted REMAIN in EUROPE.
I voted for Freedom of European Movement.
I voted for European exchange.
I voted for kindred spirits with our immediate neighbours.
I voted for PEACE between all nations.
I stand by my vote.
I am ENGLISH.
I live in France.
My story is simple, yet emotionally charged from being betrayed, abandoned, rejected by parental emotional neglect and by a soul mate who began to change his character.
I am ageing but not yet ready to go back to uncertainty in UK despite my other challenges.
I have had some of the best experiences of my life despite hardship and trauma,
I miss many things. BUT for the moment HERE is PEACE.
I love my country and United Kingdom, and whilst none of life anywhere is perfect,we do not need global war, civil war, disputes, aggression that jeopardise peace or that cause physical or mental harm to others, or where there is simple and basic unkindness between peoples.
We start at being kind to others, to respect and trust others. It started when we were born.
When people hurt us, or break our trust and friendship, break relationships then it causes angst, anger and volatility, then on a much larger scale it leads to where the nation is now.
I am sad for that.
HENCE, I am with all those who wish to REMAIN WITHIN EUROPE ....
I am sure there could be compromise, negotiation and Europe could benefit from UK just as UK has indeed benefited from Europe despite what the sceptics say.
I pray for Peace in UK and the world.
I pray for Democracy to be respected
I pray that the modern political rules are regarded closely and re - created so that GOVERNANCE of Great Britain is better understood by all.
Demonstrations are taking place across the UK against Boris Johnson's decision to suspend Parliament in the run-up to Brexit. (MY thanks to internet media for photos)
I say:
GET HIM and HIS ORGANISERS OUT. OUT. OUT.
he is a boxing fighter / a fighting boxer ... see the action of his fists...
Neighbours were correct to call the Police some time ago....
there could have been someone else in the house causing his girlfriend to scream....
and if it was him then SHAME on him.
He uses BULLY TACTICS, deception, arrogance, narcissism and much more to line his pockets and those of others.... to line his self esteem.
BUT I am no the only one to think he shows disdain and contempt for my country, as in Great Britain and its British / European Citizens and its Peoples (within ethnic groups)
There is only one way down from a pedestal for any narcissist or any one who thinks he is above justice.
Today, there is a protest demonstration and as I can't be there, this is my DEMONSTRATION. I speak out on this platform.
I am a simple person, having been naive most of my life, perhaps still am, yearn for PEACE in SOCIETY and RESPECT between individuals.
Whether Brexit is right or wrong it is not democratic and never has been, in my opinion.
I AM with those who fight for DEMOCRACY.
I AM with those who fight for JUSTICE and PEACE between NATIONS, who are also against the rise of far right and continued capitalism,
but,
I am not in support of those who create political and economic activistic, aggressive, social media abuse whilst stirring against religion, faith, etc on social and otherwise media.
There is no one right way for relationships to be healthy, yet, plenty of wrong ways to make unhealthy relationships. And Society starts with two people to understand each other, to communicate and respect each other and this then grows into a Nation where there has to be negotiation and compromise or chaos, unrest, unhappiness and death.
I am imperfect.
Aware of that truth, I will continue a struggle for decency, respect, tolerance, where opinions can be voiced but not where everyone thinks they are entitled to laud over another.
In my opinion, the 2016 voting results for BREXIT or REMAIN of 51% and 49%, were flawed.
Flawed because it was:
unrecorded as to what percentage of voters did not vote
unrecorded as to what percentage of voters voted but spoiled their ballot paper possibly because the wording could be unclear to some and they did not understand the question or implications
UK citizens were told lies
UK citizens, like me, did not understand the HISTORY of how we arrived at that point in 2016.
I voted REMAIN in EUROPE.
I voted for Freedom of European Movement.
I voted for European exchange.
I voted for kindred spirits with our immediate neighbours.
I voted for PEACE between all nations.
I stand by my vote.
I am ENGLISH.
I live in France.
My story is simple, yet emotionally charged from being betrayed, abandoned, rejected by parental emotional neglect and by a soul mate who began to change his character.
I am ageing but not yet ready to go back to uncertainty in UK despite my other challenges.
I have had some of the best experiences of my life despite hardship and trauma,
I miss many things. BUT for the moment HERE is PEACE.
I love my country and United Kingdom, and whilst none of life anywhere is perfect,we do not need global war, civil war, disputes, aggression that jeopardise peace or that cause physical or mental harm to others, or where there is simple and basic unkindness between peoples.
We start at being kind to others, to respect and trust others. It started when we were born.
When people hurt us, or break our trust and friendship, break relationships then it causes angst, anger and volatility, then on a much larger scale it leads to where the nation is now.
I am sad for that.
HENCE, I am with all those who wish to REMAIN WITHIN EUROPE ....
I am sure there could be compromise, negotiation and Europe could benefit from UK just as UK has indeed benefited from Europe despite what the sceptics say.
I pray for Peace in UK and the world.
I pray for Democracy to be respected
I pray that the modern political rules are regarded closely and re - created so that GOVERNANCE of Great Britain is better understood by all.
Tuesday 16 July 2019
Learning how to book a short city break solo.
This year, I did not wish to spend yet another birthday in
this house alone. Until 2010, my adult birthday day had always been
extra special, spent with others, enjoying gifts and cards. It is my
gift to my Self, as in Reality, I am not one to like to be spoiled in
that way on other days.
A year ago I wondered where to travel nearby, for MY BIRTHDAY ALONE, without breaking the bank and body. Last year with a physical walking problem, I hauled myself out of the house too late in the day to drive for almost two hours in my ageing vehicle to Chenonceaux Chateau, where I mainly sat to eat a beautiful 'late in France' lunch. I wandered in the chateau as I have seen it many times. This time in awe that I could cross the gallery over the bridge to the island. It was too much for me to walk in the gardens where I sat frequently until closing time.
The physical problems have continued unresolved for a year and more.
So... a TEST was necessary, that would exercise the groin pain. This year I WOULD go to Paris to do city walks. Last year, I was too late in becoming brave enough to book the adventure, by which time prices had soared. After repeated research I booked 4 nights Airbnb in Paris.
In ways unknown I have been energised even though my body feels weary!
My mantra became: "I am a river flowing...." or "I am a leaf floating on a river - drifting at different speeds, hoping not to get stuck or destroyed before I reach my destination". Of course, like me, the leaf is already in a state of decomposition. I am tempted to publish my poem about that concept from 11/2011, but dare not deviate.
I LEARNED & RE-LEARNED to:
1. Gain confidence with each step of achievement.
2. Control rising panic.
3. Ask friends for advice on what to do and how to do it.
4. Find accommodation. Cancel accommodation. Book better accommodation. My friend says I deserve it. Yes I do! It was a really good Airbnb for bed, location and privacy.
5a. Book train ticket - I'd already checked out how to do it and which TGV to catch.
5b. Check station and what to do.
5c. Check what to do for car parking for five days and cost. I didnt wish to poark for free several streets away.
6. Research what to do in Paris. Last year I'd bought a smaller than A3 sized book which unfolds for each arrondissement describing monuments, restaurants, markets, shops etc. At Montparnasse my first step was to the newsagents in the station. I found a good book map for walking - pages split into arrondissements with GRID numbered squares. It took three days to understood how the logic of how the pages inter related! Eureka! The large plastified map was not so useful as it did not easily fold; it was referenced a few times. Good for planning the next trip!
7. Start a TRAVEL journal... glue / write all details of where to stay and other information. Use it to write in.... (I hardly had any time to write!) The TRAVEL Journal can contain the next trip info.
8. Packing nightmare. What is the least I can travel with being not a minimalist when I go anywhere|! What to wear? Weather? Feet issues mean shoes need to be changed during the day. The sandals, not feet, need deodorant in this heat. Talcum powder decanted into a small plastic supplement container was used every day to refresh the feet.
9. Start to gather what I need... REJECT more than half over the next few days. Rejected more the night before. In the morning, screamed at the packing that I hate my clothes and lectured myself for behaving like a child. Told myself this will not do as I have packed at least 5 times and decided I don't like my bags. Told myself I can do it and will do it.
10. A few days before I travelled I ordered a new crossbody handbag, a BAGGALINI, which arrived in two days! It was an excellent travel bag and I even began to like the many pockets - GOOD for memory! Money here .. passport there... I know I should split valuables but it was better to have one place and have my hand tight on it at all times.
11. In a panic not to be late but already later than my intention, I drove anxiously to the train station, where, despite knowing what to do I tried to enter two bank cards in the machine to obtain a ticket to open the barrier, pressed button for HELP. A French voice told me all I had to do was press the green button. I pay on exit! I knew that... Silly me! Fortunately, I was 20 minutes in time to sit and study people travelling. What bags did they carry? What shoes and clothing did they wear? Where were they going? Some of course were working! People very clean and tidy, chic and sophisticated, even with huge travel bags!
12. Discover train seat numbering - sit - relax - I can do it - Here we go!!!!!!!!!!
Two hours to Paris.
BREATHER: Thank goodness the school contingent were well behaved, because on the homeward journey they were loud and naughty, smashing empty plastic bottles in the folding hinged tables.
A year ago I wondered where to travel nearby, for MY BIRTHDAY ALONE, without breaking the bank and body. Last year with a physical walking problem, I hauled myself out of the house too late in the day to drive for almost two hours in my ageing vehicle to Chenonceaux Chateau, where I mainly sat to eat a beautiful 'late in France' lunch. I wandered in the chateau as I have seen it many times. This time in awe that I could cross the gallery over the bridge to the island. It was too much for me to walk in the gardens where I sat frequently until closing time.
The physical problems have continued unresolved for a year and more.
So... a TEST was necessary, that would exercise the groin pain. This year I WOULD go to Paris to do city walks. Last year, I was too late in becoming brave enough to book the adventure, by which time prices had soared. After repeated research I booked 4 nights Airbnb in Paris.
In ways unknown I have been energised even though my body feels weary!
My mantra became: "I am a river flowing...." or "I am a leaf floating on a river - drifting at different speeds, hoping not to get stuck or destroyed before I reach my destination". Of course, like me, the leaf is already in a state of decomposition. I am tempted to publish my poem about that concept from 11/2011, but dare not deviate.
I LEARNED & RE-LEARNED to:
1. Gain confidence with each step of achievement.
2. Control rising panic.
3. Ask friends for advice on what to do and how to do it.
4. Find accommodation. Cancel accommodation. Book better accommodation. My friend says I deserve it. Yes I do! It was a really good Airbnb for bed, location and privacy.
5a. Book train ticket - I'd already checked out how to do it and which TGV to catch.
5b. Check station and what to do.
5c. Check what to do for car parking for five days and cost. I didnt wish to poark for free several streets away.
6. Research what to do in Paris. Last year I'd bought a smaller than A3 sized book which unfolds for each arrondissement describing monuments, restaurants, markets, shops etc. At Montparnasse my first step was to the newsagents in the station. I found a good book map for walking - pages split into arrondissements with GRID numbered squares. It took three days to understood how the logic of how the pages inter related! Eureka! The large plastified map was not so useful as it did not easily fold; it was referenced a few times. Good for planning the next trip!
7. Start a TRAVEL journal... glue / write all details of where to stay and other information. Use it to write in.... (I hardly had any time to write!) The TRAVEL Journal can contain the next trip info.
8. Packing nightmare. What is the least I can travel with being not a minimalist when I go anywhere|! What to wear? Weather? Feet issues mean shoes need to be changed during the day. The sandals, not feet, need deodorant in this heat. Talcum powder decanted into a small plastic supplement container was used every day to refresh the feet.
9. Start to gather what I need... REJECT more than half over the next few days. Rejected more the night before. In the morning, screamed at the packing that I hate my clothes and lectured myself for behaving like a child. Told myself this will not do as I have packed at least 5 times and decided I don't like my bags. Told myself I can do it and will do it.
10. A few days before I travelled I ordered a new crossbody handbag, a BAGGALINI, which arrived in two days! It was an excellent travel bag and I even began to like the many pockets - GOOD for memory! Money here .. passport there... I know I should split valuables but it was better to have one place and have my hand tight on it at all times.
11. In a panic not to be late but already later than my intention, I drove anxiously to the train station, where, despite knowing what to do I tried to enter two bank cards in the machine to obtain a ticket to open the barrier, pressed button for HELP. A French voice told me all I had to do was press the green button. I pay on exit! I knew that... Silly me! Fortunately, I was 20 minutes in time to sit and study people travelling. What bags did they carry? What shoes and clothing did they wear? Where were they going? Some of course were working! People very clean and tidy, chic and sophisticated, even with huge travel bags!
12. Discover train seat numbering - sit - relax - I can do it - Here we go!!!!!!!!!!
Two hours to Paris.
BREATHER: Thank goodness the school contingent were well behaved, because on the homeward journey they were loud and naughty, smashing empty plastic bottles in the folding hinged tables.
Monday 15 July 2019
Mess to clear and clean
On my return, I had three hours to clear a mad packing frenzy mess, created by me and only me, where I did a big reject at the last minute packing moment. As well as that mess,, I had to prep the courtyard for dining, as well as clean my house. It was clean when I left it! Oh, where did all those weeds come from in one week?
I was ready by some miracle having secreted some things waiting to be tidied.
Three were bringing lunch. I was to provide cheeses and dessert. Then I had an idea for a surprise afternoon extra, but did not have time to get to the village shop.
I had to move the car, then agreed to look at a vide-grenier about 20 metres from my house. The centenarian, now in a home with his wife as a couple, had a vast barn full of 100 year old and more planks of old wood, and many interesting items gathering dust from another life.
Lunch was spinach and salmon quiche, couscous and salade. Morbier was the cheese course and cafe gourmand the dessert.
We started with Cremant de Loire bubbly and moved to Pinot Grigio sparkling.
We set off for the village fete. I lost the girls several times, then her husband didn't seem to be with them, but at the Chevrolets, they all disappeared.
I kept meeting people I knew.....long story for another time maybe.....
Eventually, waylaid at the deceased artist's house, I realised they might have gone home, me not knowing the time. Ah, there they are. Just arrived.
Fortunately, whilst in the process of searching for them, I sourced ingredients from the village shop (a tub of icecream 6e +) and from the bakery, meringues ( not their own 2e+) . On reflection maybe it was a reasonable price. I am really out of touch with prices which seem to be soaring.
The packet of supermarket frozen berries were thawing.
The surprise for me guests was Mint tea from my garden with ETON MESS, which went down a dream. I used my beautiful HABITAT glass bowls.
Too soon after long fun tales of their GR70 trail they were on their way home for the evening.
We talked a little about my city walk but there isn't much for me to tell seasoned Parisian visitors, although I am sure there are sufficient enough tales in history for a century of conversation. It was my learning experience of wandering and meeting whatever occurred before me.
Joy in giving and receiving.
It is so lovely to have vibrant friends.
It was a really happy day for me.
And now a lot of MESS for the dishwasher!
I was ready by some miracle having secreted some things waiting to be tidied.
Three were bringing lunch. I was to provide cheeses and dessert. Then I had an idea for a surprise afternoon extra, but did not have time to get to the village shop.
I had to move the car, then agreed to look at a vide-grenier about 20 metres from my house. The centenarian, now in a home with his wife as a couple, had a vast barn full of 100 year old and more planks of old wood, and many interesting items gathering dust from another life.
Lunch was spinach and salmon quiche, couscous and salade. Morbier was the cheese course and cafe gourmand the dessert.
We set off for the village fete. I lost the girls several times, then her husband didn't seem to be with them, but at the Chevrolets, they all disappeared.
I kept meeting people I knew.....long story for another time maybe.....
Eventually, waylaid at the deceased artist's house, I realised they might have gone home, me not knowing the time. Ah, there they are. Just arrived.
Fortunately, whilst in the process of searching for them, I sourced ingredients from the village shop (a tub of icecream 6e +) and from the bakery, meringues ( not their own 2e+) . On reflection maybe it was a reasonable price. I am really out of touch with prices which seem to be soaring.
The packet of supermarket frozen berries were thawing.
The surprise for me guests was Mint tea from my garden with ETON MESS, which went down a dream. I used my beautiful HABITAT glass bowls.
We talked a little about my city walk but there isn't much for me to tell seasoned Parisian visitors, although I am sure there are sufficient enough tales in history for a century of conversation. It was my learning experience of wandering and meeting whatever occurred before me.
Joy in giving and receiving.
It is so lovely to have vibrant friends.
It was a really happy day for me.
And now a lot of MESS for the dishwasher!
Sunday 7 July 2019
only in France...unexpectedly something delightful happens
Intense heat of the canicule continues.
The doorbell ... bell at the gate ... tinkles at 5pm.
Fortunately, I was dressed in better clothes. Unusually in white - feeling cool and relaxed after an anxious day. Never liking the clothes I have and uncertain of image, I had been trying on summer clothes not worn even last summer.
"Les choses pour les valises". How little could I take?
My usual style is to throw all options into the bag and vehicle.
But this time I must choose only what I can carry.
It has been a long while since I experienced BIG CITY life in a Summer.
I intend to walk to test the GROIN PAIN.
To stem the still small voice of quiet I've been playing music .... started with George, Neil and now more blues. I need a better sound system! I transgress.
Wow... it is the tall elegant man who with his beautiful tall lady started my venture into hospitality. He is alone today with his lovely dog.
They've bought a French dream of a 'pas habitable property' not far from here.
One of his first questions was 'how was business?' He perceived a demise in the village - He spoke of fools who close a village shop for two weeks in June - such fools to close restaurants.
I feel hugely lifted in my spirits at the kindness of beautiful people.
They had sometimes passed, but often, too late in the evening!
So now it happened. I am grateful that people remember me.
This couple were my first accidental bnb couple.
( I remember being in a Spanish village with my son and we arrived at about 9 in the evening to a heaving village. No room at the inn. The kindness of the hotelier who disappeared for some while and found us accommodation! We followed to an upper level. the noise was horrendous. I had to sleeo with my sons' stinky feet. He was oblivious to the partying in the village. I was grateful for a bed!)
I was so nervous at bringing people into my house. Since then I have met wonderful genuine, kind people, great friends in passing, as well as a few who do not get me and it, about my style of serving hospitality to people.
I would never have had this opportunity in UK.
Times have changed . I always said I would have got lodgers if I hadnt come to France... Then Airbnb was almost about to hit the SCENE but I never knew that!
Now I am more relaxed but ever cautious.
His dog was a bouncy hairy Schnauzer, who actually obeyed my voice.
A playful puppy, regal and elegant, like his owners.
I can understand my mother liking them... (as long as they don't get thick set in the haunches! )
Maybe I should get that Saluki or Borzoi if it could be such a good friend and company BUT dogs are smelly!
I would love another cat but no not yet.
Adventures must be available for me to go to travelling a little!
The doorbell ... bell at the gate ... tinkles at 5pm.
Fortunately, I was dressed in better clothes. Unusually in white - feeling cool and relaxed after an anxious day. Never liking the clothes I have and uncertain of image, I had been trying on summer clothes not worn even last summer.
"Les choses pour les valises". How little could I take?
My usual style is to throw all options into the bag and vehicle.
But this time I must choose only what I can carry.
It has been a long while since I experienced BIG CITY life in a Summer.
I intend to walk to test the GROIN PAIN.
To stem the still small voice of quiet I've been playing music .... started with George, Neil and now more blues. I need a better sound system! I transgress.
Wow... it is the tall elegant man who with his beautiful tall lady started my venture into hospitality. He is alone today with his lovely dog.
They've bought a French dream of a 'pas habitable property' not far from here.
One of his first questions was 'how was business?' He perceived a demise in the village - He spoke of fools who close a village shop for two weeks in June - such fools to close restaurants.
I feel hugely lifted in my spirits at the kindness of beautiful people.
They had sometimes passed, but often, too late in the evening!
So now it happened. I am grateful that people remember me.
This couple were my first accidental bnb couple.
( I remember being in a Spanish village with my son and we arrived at about 9 in the evening to a heaving village. No room at the inn. The kindness of the hotelier who disappeared for some while and found us accommodation! We followed to an upper level. the noise was horrendous. I had to sleeo with my sons' stinky feet. He was oblivious to the partying in the village. I was grateful for a bed!)
I was so nervous at bringing people into my house. Since then I have met wonderful genuine, kind people, great friends in passing, as well as a few who do not get me and it, about my style of serving hospitality to people.
I would never have had this opportunity in UK.
Times have changed . I always said I would have got lodgers if I hadnt come to France... Then Airbnb was almost about to hit the SCENE but I never knew that!
Now I am more relaxed but ever cautious.
His dog was a bouncy hairy Schnauzer, who actually obeyed my voice.
A playful puppy, regal and elegant, like his owners.
I can understand my mother liking them... (as long as they don't get thick set in the haunches! )
Maybe I should get that Saluki or Borzoi if it could be such a good friend and company BUT dogs are smelly!
I would love another cat but no not yet.
Adventures must be available for me to go to travelling a little!
An affront
I'd had only one beer and 7 hours earlier a glass of wine with food.
I witnessed a man grabbing at the blouse of a woman and causing a reveal.
My pride and much more for humanity and women was hurt.
It was a small thing in the grand scheme of LIFE.
My prudishness sat and considered, whilst an alcoholic fuelled drama occurred around me.
"Me TOO"
I wanted to call out.
Call out disrespectful behaviour.
What did I feel?
Uncomfortable.
Is this adult behaviour?
Yes and No.
Tame in the real world?
Yes.
Are these people you wish to acquaint with?
No.
Saddened that the culture of the day has waned away to bawdy, tawdry, loud, raucous, peasantry stuff.
How do you feel?
Don't wish to stay in the social scene.
Do you wish to leave?
Yes... is it silly to leave?
No.
You have a choice. You wanted to leave some time ago, were persuaded by others to stay, so now the truth about the first inclination is revealed. Always follow your gut!
Yes.
I shall say something confrontational if I do not leave.
Yes.
(stand ... sit down ... wait seconds... stand.. sidle towards the exit)
Excuse me .. I am going home now.
(everyone stops and turns to say "don't leave")
Someone asks am I afraid?
No. No. There is nothing to be afraid of.
(takes steps to leave... turns...returns)
I have a right to leave.
They agreed.
I do.
They were subdued.
I suppose my soul was shocked.
I felt inwardly personally betrayed.
When one plays frivolous games that some men and women can play, then there is an awareness,
but when one sees it happening to someone else and sees it is unwanted... it is not fun.
My boundaries for social conduct had been violated.
No one has the right to ask women personal questions in public about their attire.
He was told that earlier on.
He was told that there are certain questions you do not ask women in public.
He agreed.
No mature adult would surely make suggestive sexual vocalisations in public.
He does very often ..
It isn't funny any more.
People should be ashamed of being lured into the game.
I am
The game is ended.
I have never in my life seen this sort of thing happen, when it was not welcomed.
I wish to be with adults not children in adult bodies.
DISTURBED.
Yes it has disturbed my soul.
Troubled the soul.
I witnessed a man grabbing at the blouse of a woman and causing a reveal.
My pride and much more for humanity and women was hurt.
It was a small thing in the grand scheme of LIFE.
My prudishness sat and considered, whilst an alcoholic fuelled drama occurred around me.
"Me TOO"
I wanted to call out.
Call out disrespectful behaviour.
What did I feel?
Uncomfortable.
Is this adult behaviour?
Yes and No.
Tame in the real world?
Yes.
Are these people you wish to acquaint with?
No.
Saddened that the culture of the day has waned away to bawdy, tawdry, loud, raucous, peasantry stuff.
How do you feel?
Don't wish to stay in the social scene.
Do you wish to leave?
Yes... is it silly to leave?
No.
You have a choice. You wanted to leave some time ago, were persuaded by others to stay, so now the truth about the first inclination is revealed. Always follow your gut!
Yes.
I shall say something confrontational if I do not leave.
Yes.
(stand ... sit down ... wait seconds... stand.. sidle towards the exit)
Excuse me .. I am going home now.
(everyone stops and turns to say "don't leave")
Someone asks am I afraid?
No. No. There is nothing to be afraid of.
(takes steps to leave... turns...returns)
I have a right to leave.
They agreed.
I do.
They were subdued.
I suppose my soul was shocked.
I felt inwardly personally betrayed.
When one plays frivolous games that some men and women can play, then there is an awareness,
but when one sees it happening to someone else and sees it is unwanted... it is not fun.
My boundaries for social conduct had been violated.
No one has the right to ask women personal questions in public about their attire.
He was told that earlier on.
He was told that there are certain questions you do not ask women in public.
He agreed.
No mature adult would surely make suggestive sexual vocalisations in public.
He does very often ..
It isn't funny any more.
People should be ashamed of being lured into the game.
I am
The game is ended.
I have never in my life seen this sort of thing happen, when it was not welcomed.
I wish to be with adults not children in adult bodies.
DISTURBED.
Yes it has disturbed my soul.
Troubled the soul.
A troubled soul - she and I
If this blog were completely anonymous she would be able to write all that is in her head,
about certain persons who have been in her life, who seem to hang on a hanger in her wardrobe.
A troubled soul.. this description for myself arrived today.
There are:
Those who will never understand this lifestyle in not her own country.
Those who have never lived alone for any structured period of time.
Those who have never lived alone in France for any structured period of time.
Those who have lived alone but NOT in France and NOT in a different country or indeed in this particular touristic village of France.
Those who are not her.
There are those who do not understand her, but, there is no need.
Some tell her what to do and others do not.
Some influence, others do not.
Some have given up advising from the perimeter.
The following has haunted me all my life and affects how I think people understand me:
There are those who never heard her father yelling at her mother ...
who never felt her trauma fear that made her hide until a storm had passed.
who never saw her mother physically violated causing scars on her back which I never saw but heard about, whilst attempting to protect her firstborn with cerebral palsy, her two normal birthed girls and her business livelihood to keep us all afloat. Sometimes we were shut out of the house until debris had to be cleared. Her poor dear deranged father, mother, and family. It's really hard without a mother who was always there but never one to be talked to or who would talk about mother daughter things.
She feels she is a troubled soul today. BUT IT IS NOT ALWAYS THIS WAY.
Good things DO HAPPEN.
She has tried to integrate...thinks it isn't working because communication in French must go beyond words. Maybe it is just a slow process, like the man in Suffolk once said,
"You have to live here for 25 years before you are accepted", just as did a temporary neighbour, quite recently say,
"You have to live here for 20 years before your language is fluent".
When one feels one does not belong anywhere ,then one is adrift and needs an anchor.
A home and family was my vision but it's just little old me. The children have their own lives.
Troubled by childhood trauma that won't seem to let go though she has tried kicking it down the lane.
Troubled by that man she loved or thought she loved who caused deep wound PAIN.
A lovely man.
A troubled soul too.
She perceives his most recent typed rant, justified or not as a response to her written word, as there was and is no other form of communication over 19 months and more has been misjudged.
She is not always careful with typed word. Mild dyslexia of setting down thoughts needs to be worked at. She onfuses grammar and content. She knows she can be misinterpreted. She knows thoughts should not be set down in print and if they are, should be severely edited at a later date when MIND has had time to settle the anxious brain. Sometimes, she needs to express: be heard whist trying hard not to judge her neighbour but to judge herself. She knows she should not reveal herself but she does!
Today she thinks again in disbelief how close they were when they were fulfilled in love.
Looking back, she feels used and abused.
Victim mentality. That is the hardest pain.
The pain of something beautiful destroyed has taken away opportunity.
However the opposite is it has given rise to other opportunities.
Turn it around.
She is not abused. She is noit a victim.
She has been given a gift of Life to open the door and windows mentioned in the Header of this Blog. Stop letting negativity win.
She poured out her soul. The troubled soul that his yelling at her made her freeze on alert for the monthly storm of her father. A wound does not heal if it is constantly opened.
When she once told him that it made her afraid of him ... that it was like her father yelling ... he just stared and blinked his wide-open blue-grey eyes, mouth agape almost. Surprising for him, as usually a very tight lipped person until the YELL or SHOUT came OUT without warning to last maybe a second or minute, hour, week and sometimes month or months, harboured, without reference, without remorse, without apology, without reason, without excuse and sometimes combined with silence for as long!
The victim of the SHOUT is a startled rabbit ready to run, to hide, to escape, to get away from pain to come. No wonder adrenal glands feel shot! They control fear, flight and freeze: she never knew the last until recently. Freeze is what has been a disability all her life when intimidated. It interrupts the breathing pattern. Messes up the body support system.
Sing, dance, play music, be practically creative and the Frozen state melts.
One should not brush a SHOUT under the carpet for it to gather dust and lie dormant for it will sneak out when least expected.
It needs to be swept up and challenged as to WHY it is happening from that person.
I know.
I was a SHOUT when a condition / illness and my own non understanding of what was happening inside me, could not keep pretending she was OK.
Today ~ I don't wish to go out on my own or be with others, but to be in Nature under a tree would be a nice thing to do. There are trees at the other land. I should try with a rug and a book, a pillow and a picnic. Today, and for some time, I am lazy with procrastination in the Summer wall of heat.
Today I am chastised for being me.
Am I but my own obligation?
I called to talk, not to unload, but to have a sense of normality, increasingly difficult when conversational interchange does not flow.
The heat of days could be an excuse... it is probably cooler to be out in a breeze.
I didn't want to go to a car boot sale, a restaurant or bar or drive an ailing vehicle without climatisation and windows that open to escape from me.
Despite two hours mid afternoon sleep I am really tired. I think the reason is it can arise from insufficient exercise, stimulation. One could say I am bored but I have enough to do.
Things can change in a moment without notice to change a troubled soul.
I am about to have an adventure and a little nervous.
This thought brings a smile to counter tears today.
We don't cry every minute of every day like we did when completely abandoned in France with a house around my neck, to renovate and live alone.
There is always a lesson why Life is as it is or isn't.
A troubled soul....signifies to listen to the lesson and turn it around.
I mostly understand myself.
Sometimes she is overwhelming to others and herself...
all that she needs to do is overwhelming,..
she doesn't have stamina, energy or motivation to do all of it
but she keeps the rooms as tidy as she can,
clears up untidiness that she alone can make quite easily.
Tries to keep ORDER.
Something seems to have died...
Something will grow again.
Something will live.
The troubled soul will allow itself to be healed.
Recognition is always the first step in a process.
The troubled soul would like to write a letter to her mother at least but she is not here to read it.
She thinks she has words enough for a boring book, but doesnt know how to do it.
People would not wish to listen, let alone hear or read.
Probably a load of personal trivia as in this blog.
I CARE to have my DREAMS, my reveries.
This next adventure must be a spring board for the settling of the soul....
about certain persons who have been in her life, who seem to hang on a hanger in her wardrobe.
A troubled soul.. this description for myself arrived today.
There are:
Those who will never understand this lifestyle in not her own country.
Those who have never lived alone for any structured period of time.
Those who have never lived alone in France for any structured period of time.
Those who have lived alone but NOT in France and NOT in a different country or indeed in this particular touristic village of France.
Those who are not her.
There are those who do not understand her, but, there is no need.
Some tell her what to do and others do not.
Some influence, others do not.
Some have given up advising from the perimeter.
The following has haunted me all my life and affects how I think people understand me:
There are those who never heard her father yelling at her mother ...
who never felt her trauma fear that made her hide until a storm had passed.
who never saw her mother physically violated causing scars on her back which I never saw but heard about, whilst attempting to protect her firstborn with cerebral palsy, her two normal birthed girls and her business livelihood to keep us all afloat. Sometimes we were shut out of the house until debris had to be cleared. Her poor dear deranged father, mother, and family. It's really hard without a mother who was always there but never one to be talked to or who would talk about mother daughter things.
She feels she is a troubled soul today. BUT IT IS NOT ALWAYS THIS WAY.
Good things DO HAPPEN.
She has tried to integrate...thinks it isn't working because communication in French must go beyond words. Maybe it is just a slow process, like the man in Suffolk once said,
"You have to live here for 25 years before you are accepted", just as did a temporary neighbour, quite recently say,
"You have to live here for 20 years before your language is fluent".
When one feels one does not belong anywhere ,then one is adrift and needs an anchor.
A home and family was my vision but it's just little old me. The children have their own lives.
Troubled by childhood trauma that won't seem to let go though she has tried kicking it down the lane.
Troubled by that man she loved or thought she loved who caused deep wound PAIN.
A lovely man.
A troubled soul too.
She perceives his most recent typed rant, justified or not as a response to her written word, as there was and is no other form of communication over 19 months and more has been misjudged.
She is not always careful with typed word. Mild dyslexia of setting down thoughts needs to be worked at. She onfuses grammar and content. She knows she can be misinterpreted. She knows thoughts should not be set down in print and if they are, should be severely edited at a later date when MIND has had time to settle the anxious brain. Sometimes, she needs to express: be heard whist trying hard not to judge her neighbour but to judge herself. She knows she should not reveal herself but she does!
Today she thinks again in disbelief how close they were when they were fulfilled in love.
Looking back, she feels used and abused.
Victim mentality. That is the hardest pain.
The pain of something beautiful destroyed has taken away opportunity.
However the opposite is it has given rise to other opportunities.
Turn it around.
She is not abused. She is noit a victim.
She has been given a gift of Life to open the door and windows mentioned in the Header of this Blog. Stop letting negativity win.
She poured out her soul. The troubled soul that his yelling at her made her freeze on alert for the monthly storm of her father. A wound does not heal if it is constantly opened.
When she once told him that it made her afraid of him ... that it was like her father yelling ... he just stared and blinked his wide-open blue-grey eyes, mouth agape almost. Surprising for him, as usually a very tight lipped person until the YELL or SHOUT came OUT without warning to last maybe a second or minute, hour, week and sometimes month or months, harboured, without reference, without remorse, without apology, without reason, without excuse and sometimes combined with silence for as long!
The victim of the SHOUT is a startled rabbit ready to run, to hide, to escape, to get away from pain to come. No wonder adrenal glands feel shot! They control fear, flight and freeze: she never knew the last until recently. Freeze is what has been a disability all her life when intimidated. It interrupts the breathing pattern. Messes up the body support system.
Sing, dance, play music, be practically creative and the Frozen state melts.
One should not brush a SHOUT under the carpet for it to gather dust and lie dormant for it will sneak out when least expected.
It needs to be swept up and challenged as to WHY it is happening from that person.
I know.
I was a SHOUT when a condition / illness and my own non understanding of what was happening inside me, could not keep pretending she was OK.
Today ~ I don't wish to go out on my own or be with others, but to be in Nature under a tree would be a nice thing to do. There are trees at the other land. I should try with a rug and a book, a pillow and a picnic. Today, and for some time, I am lazy with procrastination in the Summer wall of heat.
Today I am chastised for being me.
Am I but my own obligation?
I called to talk, not to unload, but to have a sense of normality, increasingly difficult when conversational interchange does not flow.
The heat of days could be an excuse... it is probably cooler to be out in a breeze.
I didn't want to go to a car boot sale, a restaurant or bar or drive an ailing vehicle without climatisation and windows that open to escape from me.
Despite two hours mid afternoon sleep I am really tired. I think the reason is it can arise from insufficient exercise, stimulation. One could say I am bored but I have enough to do.
Things can change in a moment without notice to change a troubled soul.
I am about to have an adventure and a little nervous.
This thought brings a smile to counter tears today.
We don't cry every minute of every day like we did when completely abandoned in France with a house around my neck, to renovate and live alone.
There is always a lesson why Life is as it is or isn't.
A troubled soul....signifies to listen to the lesson and turn it around.
I mostly understand myself.
Sometimes she is overwhelming to others and herself...
all that she needs to do is overwhelming,..
she doesn't have stamina, energy or motivation to do all of it
but she keeps the rooms as tidy as she can,
clears up untidiness that she alone can make quite easily.
Tries to keep ORDER.
Something seems to have died...
Something will grow again.
Something will live.
The troubled soul will allow itself to be healed.
Recognition is always the first step in a process.
The troubled soul would like to write a letter to her mother at least but she is not here to read it.
She thinks she has words enough for a boring book, but doesnt know how to do it.
People would not wish to listen, let alone hear or read.
Probably a load of personal trivia as in this blog.
I CARE to have my DREAMS, my reveries.
This next adventure must be a spring board for the settling of the soul....
Thursday 27 June 2019
French language Frustration
A part time resident welcomes me.
I speak in French.
He says I can speak in English.
Then tells me I need to improve my French!!!!!!!!
I tell him I'm trying EVERYDAY to speak the beautiful language!
He also enquired if I lived here all the time.
He told me how they normally always come for the whole of JULY AUGUST and sometimes Easter time but that they came here during the winter on their return from ski-ing....... and there was no one -NO ONE for a whole week..... He Agreed it is dire in the winter. I told him I didn't have a choice not owning property elsewhere.
He was kind.
An hour later, it again gets to me and I feel depressed.
These things matter to me:
1. BELONGING... I have to belong somewhere.
2. Need security, safety, comfort of my own home - shared or not shared.
3. Social & Cultural meaningful discussion and contact with others.
4. Support and inter exchange with others.
5. Family
6. Financial Independence.
So if, I need 3 and 4, and fail with language skills, there is only one thing I ought to do at this age of my life.
I should no longer try to live in a Fort Knox / French "chateau " / "winter prison" which requires a family and renovation.
I speak in French.
He says I can speak in English.
Then tells me I need to improve my French!!!!!!!!
I tell him I'm trying EVERYDAY to speak the beautiful language!
He also enquired if I lived here all the time.
He told me how they normally always come for the whole of JULY AUGUST and sometimes Easter time but that they came here during the winter on their return from ski-ing....... and there was no one -NO ONE for a whole week..... He Agreed it is dire in the winter. I told him I didn't have a choice not owning property elsewhere.
He was kind.
An hour later, it again gets to me and I feel depressed.
These things matter to me:
1. BELONGING... I have to belong somewhere.
2. Need security, safety, comfort of my own home - shared or not shared.
3. Social & Cultural meaningful discussion and contact with others.
4. Support and inter exchange with others.
5. Family
6. Financial Independence.
So if, I need 3 and 4, and fail with language skills, there is only one thing I ought to do at this age of my life.
I should no longer try to live in a Fort Knox / French "chateau " / "winter prison" which requires a family and renovation.
Tuesday 25 June 2019
Summer Sun Contentment
By a distant village summer river 'plage' we listened
to a MADAGASCAN music group. They were good! At home, I needed to lie down and wait a while. My bra was soaking wet. I researched how to lower heart rate. After while I counted 90 per minute when the target
for aged 70 = 75 to 128 beats per minute so I'm not doing too bad!
This year is the first evening that I have sat n my
back garden since 2016. In
2017 and 2018. burdened with the WILL,, I hardly ventured out when HEAT was too much or COLD and RAIN was inclement, so I became more physically unfit. Today, I felt that glorious heat of summer, when I can bare legs, arms and therefore my soul. It feels as if I am on the way to being healed. I did
bare my arms and legs on the Ile de Ré in September 2018 after I had travelled alone to see a Performance of Shakespeare as I began to emerge
like a butterfly opening her wings.
It was with romantic notions and memories, yet with personal pleasure of being on my own and independent of anyone that I went again to that wonderful place of security, safety. It was with romantic notions and memories, I revisited an Isle that reminded me much of a place I considered to be my home town – Southwold …. but in actual fact , when I returned there in January and February this year I could not stay for long. It was too closed, too crowded, too 'noir'. I did not feel free. I felt stifled, that 'my home' had been robbed from me by the hooray Henry's and squashed in so called needful development. Whereas France seems more and more to fulfill my need to be alone and independent even though I long for company.
It was with romantic notions and memories, yet with personal pleasure of being on my own and independent of anyone that I went again to that wonderful place of security, safety. It was with romantic notions and memories, I revisited an Isle that reminded me much of a place I considered to be my home town – Southwold …. but in actual fact , when I returned there in January and February this year I could not stay for long. It was too closed, too crowded, too 'noir'. I did not feel free. I felt stifled, that 'my home' had been robbed from me by the hooray Henry's and squashed in so called needful development. Whereas France seems more and more to fulfill my need to be alone and independent even though I long for company.
BUT BACK TO THIS EVENING.
Today I bought two types of exquisite goats cheese from “ISABELLE” in
La Roche Posay market.
I cannot explain the complete story in my head to you or retell it for me, but I
pressed the water pump to water garden plants for the second or
third time this summer… we had had so much rain in June. A stained by time and weather plastic chair had made its way to the lilac
tree but no one had ever sat there.
It looked inviting.
I created a makeshift table for the chair.
I took my cheeses, rice salad and glass of red wine on a tray with my reading book to dine, to look towards the setting sun … it sets behind the rooftops.
It looked inviting.
I created a makeshift table for the chair.
I took my cheeses, rice salad and glass of red wine on a tray with my reading book to dine, to look towards the setting sun … it sets behind the rooftops.
OH MY!
Yes it was 2016 when I was last here…. and only just before
HE without many days of warning LEFT at the end of July when we were supposed to have gone camping after finishing the
kitchen. HE, my former partner who I feel several times had shafted me, forgive
me, but I can’t think of other appropriate words, when one felt abandoned and rejected. Well, anyway, having decided to sell everything and 'give almost everything away', he again escaped to the
south of France or maybe this time was straight to Peckham Rye where he fell out with the host on the day I departed to go see my mother for her 90th birthday. He needed a bolthole … what|???? In normal circumstances before that he could always rely on me but when he left in July, old wounds opened up especially remembering the Bordeaux incident the years before!
A Long costly journey for a bolt hole from UK to France for an immediate bolthole? Can he not go to his daughter or sister? I never said YES and I never said NO. I was late departing and a ferry had to be reached in an ailing vehicle. I was on my journey with everyone set up with keys to look after my cat. … our cat!
CUT…… C.U.T.
A Long costly journey for a bolt hole from UK to France for an immediate bolthole? Can he not go to his daughter or sister? I never said YES and I never said NO. I was late departing and a ferry had to be reached in an ailing vehicle. I was on my journey with everyone set up with keys to look after my cat. … our cat!
CUT…… C.U.T.
I really wish to write about being in the garden this evening.
I sat feeling the most excellent warmth and that wonderful contentment that comes from sitting in absolute heat and European sunshine that was a very rare wonder in England.
I read my book. Grellier the cat came to look from a distance.
It was almost 23h before I returned indoors.
When I have a need to be close to others, or to express thoughts, desires, abstract feelings which have insufficient words, then music and company, or even being still and alone has great gifts.
The hot African heat drawing itself north through Europe on account of too much water evaporation holds a special moment in one's living hours.
Contentment is a most wonderful gift to treasure.
I read my book. Grellier the cat came to look from a distance.
It was almost 23h before I returned indoors.
When I have a need to be close to others, or to express thoughts, desires, abstract feelings which have insufficient words, then music and company, or even being still and alone has great gifts.
The hot African heat drawing itself north through Europe on account of too much water evaporation holds a special moment in one's living hours.
Contentment is a most wonderful gift to treasure.
Monday 24 June 2019
More Garden in June
 |
| The first blooms of ROALD DAHL David Austin Roses I planted the bare root in early April. |
Grellier in playful mode - neighbour's cat who cheekily slinks indoors to be gently shooed away.
 |
| Two 'surviving their struggle' roses, peeping from behind lavender. |
 |
| At last these are flowering, having moved from several gardens to here - from the garden of my Aunt Ivy - deceased 1994 |
 |
| Uprooted after flowering, before they seed, ORIENTAL poppies which were glorious, but now need to be hung to dry, once stems can be cut easily in half. |
 | |||||||||
| Filled with prunings from Paul's Himalayan Rose- see images in previous posting. | The gardener clipped off the shooting branches which were new growth looking for jungle trees to ramble through! |
 | |
| This can be a secret haven BUT that there chair has got to go as it is most uncomfortable and always has been. I think maybe to buy a stripey deck chair.. |
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