Christmas Eve with Queen

 

 What could Santa bring this Christmas Eve...

for her Christmas stocking?  

Tangerine chocolate dreams, a mince pie, Armagnac, music, dancing and laughter.....
if I am sensible............... 

and if not, then that would be telling.......!
 Today there was indulgement ....
to queue for long minutes at Les Halles, an indoor food market at Chatellerault, because I love the fish stall, where the queue went around two corners whilst other fish stalls had few customers!!
and where there is one particular butcher that serves wonderful beef.
 I bought lots of yummy things which should last without shopping for at least a couple of weeks.
At the supermarket the car was filled with petrol.
I did rather baulk at the half crab I bought, thinking it was dressed...
then having to prepare it myself for Christmas Evening Supper.

 

Silver Angel

Silver Angel by the River Anglin 2008

Looking back to snowy weather!

January 2013 Angles sur L'Anglin

An electric log splitter

This is for 'puppyfur' who has made an enquiry with regard to an elecric logsplitter.
In France it is called un fendeur / une fendeuse!
I bought mine from Bricomarche and it has been worth the expense even though sometimes I curse it!
It needs two hands for safety: a thumb on the right hand presses the button and the left hand depresses the handle... both at the same time.
I forget how many tons of force it is supposed to create on the log. It is fierce and not completely safe if a log falls off and lands on one's toes so get ready to leap backwards or to one side and mind your fingers too!
Plug the machine into a power source with space around it,  especially for logs to leap forward as they split. If the wood is dry they seem to pop very quickly!  If the wood is knotty then the log won't split and gets jarred onto the wedge so then you need a large metal lever to bash it back off the wedge!  Experimenting with a log to find where it will split can be a bit of a challenge!  I use my machine on the ground... but some people put it on a table... either way you have to lift the logs!!!! The machine is heavy and unwieldy. I also fill the distance between the part that pushes the log and the actual log with a squared section of part of a log which if you are patient will get made!!!! Then the pusher doesn't have to travel so far!
My logs are one metre lengths which arrive at my house cut into thirds. I could do with a merlin or axe-like thingy which I used to use to split logs in my younger days but I don't have the muscle to lift my arms and it high above my head with legs astride and thwack it safely down to see that satisfying split of ancient wood!  Neither can I wield a chainsaw, nor would wish to!  I could do with a set of muscles to help me!

Feeling less tired and shouldering self responsibiltiy

Possibly it was the after effects of the anaesthesia, morphine and other drugs pumped into the body in early October. Medical invasion for an operation IS a physical assault on the body.  Maybe it was a case of 'too much, too soon' after the operation,  shock to the body and the mind, having to 'get up and do' for the roofers, and that TRAMADOL!!!! The nurse and my son advised me not to take it but strong paracetamol did not cut through the pain AND I needed to sleep, which at first Tramadol helped me to do, then vice versa.  I didn't notice any side effects on the mind whilst taking it, but then I wouldn't, would I, if you were to hear how my dearest son and his wedding guests described / describe me? After a week, once the course of tablets had finished, I recognised  that THAT was when I began to go physically further downhill.
When I went to the GP he must have become alarmed when I described the breathing difficulties and physical symptoms I was experiencing.  My pet elephant was too heavy! (See earlier posting before you consider I have totally lost the plot!)  Before I went to England there was a major (to me) health scare. The blood test indicated a possible pulmonary embolism!  It was a Saturday and the nurse couldn't get in touch with the GP who had said that if it was positive I would NOT be going to England!  After consulting the laboratory, plus the hospital, I was rushed at 4pm to les Urgences (A&E), in an ambulance that the English and French speaking nurse, who I have come to like, ordered.  I know she was following advice from three medical authorities higher than her but I did think it was a tad OTT... plus the scare given to my adult children was unnecessary.  I thought someone ought to know, in case of potential exit from this soil!
The blood test had indicated 550 for something and was over the allowed 500 but in hospital the same test showed 250 or 350 ... I can't remember exactly!
Whilst on the trolley bed I decided to rest and sleep because it would be the best medication I could give to myself.  It was no use worrying!  Que sera sera!  I was calm and prayed. 
At 11pm, I was extremely grateful to be alive and allowed to go home without any signs of a pulmonary embolism.
What made me confused and in a vulnerable position was that the nurse had befriended me and said she would collect me once the diagnosis and treatment had been made but then her phones were disconnected.  Unavailable. There I was, an hour's drive from home, almost midnight, with fortunately my coat, scarf and hat, no money or means of payment for anything, no valuables, no food and water, but with address book and uk mobile. No one that I knew within an hour's driving distance was in a position to collect me (they'd been drinking or children were in bed or didn't have a vehicle or were old and infirm) and therefore there was a 100 euro taxi fare to face. Small price for a 'getmehomequick' ticket!!
Did I need this drama? What does it tell me? What can I learn?
Answer 1: being in France far from family and friends is not the place to be as one gets older and needs support. Fine if one can face it all without a soul present, which presumably is what many a person does as we age. Friends and family die before us or we live far far away.  This scenario happens in England too. Ageing!
Answer 2: never, if one can, go anywhere without adequate "buymeout" funds.

I am learning to grin and bear life so to speak!  
Put on a brave face and laugh at the absurdity of life! 

Just the shoulder now ....
I know that this problem started in June with the wrist needing support and then the upper arm (biceps) started to hurt. I certainly remember in July on a very memorable occasion thinking "o-oh -  be  careful with that!"

• I think it comes from pulling the starter motor cord on the lawnmower.
• I think it comes from years of playing the accordion. That particular shoulder pushes up against the body of the large instrument as I play and whilst the other drops slightly as I stand in almost correct Alexander position - shoulders back!  Its why I love to wear stilettos when I play!
• I think it comes from years of carrying a satchel, hand-bag, computer bag, shopping bags and educational career work bags.
• I think it comes from being weighed down with LIFE, with what has happened here in France and perhaps before that when a good friend would say to me "you're slouching, pull your shoulders back!"
• I think it comes from years of not having mirrors to look into and smile at oneself and say "Hey, stand up straight, be proud of your achievements. Don't beat oneself up!"
• I think it comes from using the Gallic shrug... evidently when I am emotionally affected in a 'couldn't care less' attitude that particular shoulder twitches forwards in a defiant manner! Sometimes people have thought it a funny mannerism! HEY HO!
• Fibromyalgia  (Myalgic Encephamolitis)

I have been BIG this year on Metaphors for the body and lifestyle:
So with this last one:
* Shoulder on.... soldier on.
* I have had an armful...
* Stop carrying the weight of unnecessary baggage...be it, all that stuff in the attic needing to be sorted, all that writing and photos to be produced into a book or books,  all that responsibility for others that now I can let go, all this house and what needs for me to be finished and and and......
* Stop being 'armful to myself and others indirectly.
* Carry that weight with dignity and not sorrow.
* Evidently, repressed anger is stored within shoulder ones and muscles. (I go with that!)
* My arm is stopping me from embracing and accepting what is the truth.... ( I go with that although In Reality in France and Restless in France  have in the last year been facing Truth and accepting it little by little.  THIS IS THIS. THIS IS HOW IT IS.

I need to accept it but I can choose to change the future and how I react to negative people who sometimes affect me badly and deeply... keep away from negative people... and I feel I am one myself and I don't like that... I really want to change the story.
I can choose my own boundaries.
I can choose to reach out my arm using my shoulder blade to a new horizon where positive people, places and events cause me to be content and comfortable. 
I can use my arm to hug myself, be kind to myself as well as to hug others and be kind to them.. if they want!!

Diary entry for 18th December

It's now Friday 20th December evening and I am listening to Handel's Messiah.

Thanks to Google I can do a back posting just to confuse any of you who are reading these scripts! 

Wednesday December 18^th 2013 - 12 noon

It’s a new day and am I reeling or not?

Returning from three weeks in English highly centrally-heated internal living environments to an 8 degree room environment yesterday evening, I was grateful for the rising temperatures of 10 degrees and a tatch by the following midday 

Yes, I have enjoyed coming back to my house. 

With silence about me unless I turn on the radio, the thoughts stream in about the last three weeks, the people I have met, the experiences I have had, the opportunities missed, the unexpected and the expected events and emotions.

A walk to the boulangerie ensures that I speak to someone. My housebound neighbour’s daughter exclaims that I have been away a long time.  The high-pitched elderly man who lives in my street further towards the village gathers info that I've been to England to be with family. Villagers love a little gossip and intrigue about a single, elderly, (I'm only 60 something!) English female and what is she doing in this village far from her family and friends…. And well may they speculate for it is the never-ending question that I ask myself again when I climb the slope in my French street, marvelling at what goes on and why on earth I have spent so much on a roof ( hear the expletives!!!) and a house ( it's all mine and house rentals throughout my life would have amounted to the same!!!) when I can’t spend that on a vehicle or grand piano or travelling!

Oh oh oh!!!!

Where am I? Part Two

Safely in France, having escaped to England for three weeks!

I walked today and appreciated the quiet landscape.
The patron of "Les Belles Toitures" arrived unexpectedly and not knowing I had returned was showing off my roof to his supplier. He has now been fully paid!  
I highly recommend this company.
I love my roof.  Although I have empty pockets, the pleasure my new roof gives is enormous when I look up to the little bird and when the little bird looks down on me!

My visit to England was eventful in very many ways which I can and cannot report here in public.
Fortunately, the computer issues were corrected after at least 8 hours in the Apple Store over 5 appointments with no charge. Now it seems to run differently. Gmail and everything seems altered!

Flights and National Express were challenging with 10kg of techy baggage!  At the airport, I didn't realise the differences between parking charges of French airports in this region as I had not fully done research, but luckily managed to get the fee halved by initiative!  Hiring a car in England was difficult as one arrives and the questions and costs mount. Nothing is transparent in the world of commerce.  I passed the tests and was given the responsibility to drive about 400 miles in the car... a Fiat, but it wasn't small!

I met a very dear friend from over 30 years ago!  Sadly, I couldn't see several people that I planned to see and wanted / needed to see. I did see others unexpectedly and that was great fun. Though when my cousin's daughter arrived at my cousin's house as she had been evacuated with the FLOOD ALERT, that was not amusing.  It seems her little abode was safe. The sea was a hungry brown dog between tidal surges and has torn savagely at the east coast.

I did see my son but his timetable spun mine topsy-turvy so that I saw more of my daughter and grand daughter which pleased me.  Daughter and her friends who are parents of the school are having incomprehensible problems at my grand-daughters primary school, but no, I can't mention the name of the school, YET.... but dearly would like to!!! I yearn to report how they treat parents !!!!

I stayed on my son's boat but strong winds turned the turbine almost non stop in order to generate electricity for the boat. Sound magnified down the funnel shouting at my ears and mind perhaps like the tramontaine.  The steel tug acted as a sound box.  Now, I really don't need to be driven more crazy!  It didn't stop raining on the south coast for several days whilst I was there whereas when I was in East Anglia there was no rain at all! Cooped up and living without side windows is not for me!!!! and I don't really understand why it is for him, except that madness clearly runs in the family blood!

I went dressed for winter but it was mild in the home country!
N.B. 10 mm of rain fell in my absence then 18mm on my second night back at home.

Where am I? Part One

Exploring a different kind of rest and restoration.
I'm feeling stress free at last!!! Most probably there will be a run of new posts soon.
My computer has been repaired. It was a Multiple Volumes issue therefore not needing a new internal hard drive. PHEW!!!  The lovely Apple Store were excellent service and after many many hours corrected the iPhoto libraries issues so now all my photos (60,000 +) are in one place, ready for the mammoth cull and reorganisation.....because and I don't know how it has happened but there are often several copies of one photo!!! Now I can find photos going back to 2008 and before!
As if I haven't enough to do!!!! Serves me right for being so clicky happy!!!
I will return to posting soon.
PS. Now that I have started using the laptop again as opposed to the mini ipad the machine seems very slow and that rainbow wheel keeps spinning.
Must delete delete but when!!!???

Freedom out and about

A haircut whilst speaking French and English with my friend was excellent therapy.  Seeing the rising rushing river against the bridge towers made me feel alive.  I was in wonderment at how quickly the new development of a new car park, cinema and tourist office in Chatellerault has been achieved.

I always try to go to Chez Fred in the market place to have a hot chocolate drink or lunch.  Yesterday was a surprise. I entered to find the floor covered with straw.  On walls and surfaces were veggie crates filled with straw and cut out paintings of rabbits and chickens.  From the ceiling and light fittings there were branches of wisteria, cutout paintings of bunches of grapes and maroon balloons to represent the grape. Some people sat on straw bales. No I hadn't made a reservation.  Never mind I said as I was about to leave without being served a coffee as there was nowhere to sit.  Meanwhile, Fred is waving an empty glass in front of me and indicating the barrel and bottles of Beaujolais Nouvelle, asking if I wanted lunch and finding a place for me to squeeze into. Despite my good intention to save money and to eat frugally my sandwich, "Pourquoi pas" sprang into my mouth, an opportunity to participate unexpectedly. For 10 euros I was stuffed with the buffet volonté, which Fred brought on huge serving dishes. There was no space to wander about.  Apple bread rolls were on plates.  The terrine was so delicious and I did not dare ask which meat!  I declined the black and white pudding and rillette or is it rillande, but accepted the most tasty of cold chicken, carpaccio, cheeses and green salad with tomatoes.  It was cheaper to buy a bottle but I couldn't drink that and when the French people on my table chinked glasses they were reluctant to do so with me because I had water after two small glasses of wine but when Fred brought a third glass they cheered appreciatively for it was that day in the year when Beaujolais is officially released and why they were there for the ambiance and atmosphere of Chez Fred. It was really a paid party!!  With a dessert of pears, cherries and Beaujolais wine confiture and an espresso coffee, my bill was just under 20e without the tip. BRILLIANT. What did it matter ?   I was stuffed.   With colour to my cheeks, sober and within driving limits. I felt alive again. 

I should never leave home without the camera. I considered it but thought it unnecessary,

I'm putting the date in my diary for next year and must get a small group of friends together to make a reservation. 

Hauling an elephant

Yesterday, and for several days, it has felt as if I am hauling an elephant around my house and garden.
I like elephants. A ride in Sri Lanka about 14 or 15 years ago was amazing with the elephant's matou leading the way.  Shall I call my be chum "trum" ?
I need to get fit ... not that I was ever, ever fit, but stamina is now at zilch. Today, we, that is, me, me and me, wrapped the incoming water pipes positioned in the attic with even more insulation material at huge expense to alleviate anxiety of  potential burst pipes. Most probably unnecessary but I am listening to intuition.  I think there was just one tiny leak last winter but it's better not to take risks. Winters in France have been sub zero and yes, I do need my winter fuel payment.
I made myself tackle the courtyard plant troughs because they are not frost proof and have to be taken indoors. A nuisance. I replanted the zonal geraniums altogether to move them into an attic to see if they will survive. I was without success last year when I put them into the exterior building which must have been too dark and cold. The village gardeners keep geraniums in a room indoors throughout the winter so I am spurred to try again.
The troughs of heavy water saturated soil were lifted carefully using my weak arm and wobbly foot whilst the elephantine feeling began to disappear. I managed  to do what should have taken half of the time.  Some plants like my camellias in pots will be wrapped in bubble wrap.  I pruned the rose rambler, moved things to the back garden, swept the paving slabs and split a few logs with the indispensable electric log spitter.  With a brief blue sky above, I admired the view as I sat with a cup of tea and a slice of Liz's banana and pecan nut cake which was nicely squidgy and JUST delicious!

Now where is that elephant hiding?

Roof pre replacement and a healing foot

I can't access older photos until I get my laptop repaired but if you click on the link below you will access a photo near the start of  this blog.

My house roof before replacement. Terracotta flat tiles and plastic guttering.

Now my roof has ardoise because the pitch was incorrect to meet modern regulations for flat tiles. However, artisans had to raise the pitch anyway because they had to instal a panne faitiere so maybe I could have had flat tiles. hmmm......ANYWAY, I am very pleased with the result. Let's forget about an empty pocket!  I would suggest that money disappears at the speed of light to the comment from Doris Lessing that life disappears faster than water down a plug hole, Nevertheless, I have peace of mind that timbers are not going to collapse in my lifetime in this house and who knows how long that will be? ! I saw and felt how soft and broken the rafters and beams were when on the ground. Another metaphor!  I've been soft and broken when on the ground. I started to write ...haha.. here, but it was no joke.
END of story. I am trying to change the story.

A SHORTER STORY:
Yesterday, I drove to Poitiers ... a long drive there and back; my foot was just a little sore.
The surgeon almost danced with pleasure when he saw my foot...I'm not sure if it was an act or not. He said it had healed remarkably quickly;  he was impressed with my concoction even writing that in his report.   He is extrmely efficient. He dictates the report to his secretary after the consultation whilst one is there and then she collects payment afterwards.  When I said I was so very tired he said that it was not surprising as I'd had no physical or emotional  support needing to be mobile for the builders. He demonstrated how most patients at this stage after an op are still hobbling because they are French and from the SOUTH  and gave me facial grimaces which portrayed their attitude to recovery... and yet he hadn't seen me walk. I told him I need my foot to be mobile because it is liberté referring to the French trilogy..... Freedom is my achievement! Such a kindly man and how refreshing to have a fun, full of life surgeon... of course that is his job to replenish lives... to make lives easier for the human condition, to help people move and  allow Cinderella to go to the ball ... I am of course still waiting for those silver slippers!  My treat will be when I can wear my heeled boots and summer shoes to be mor feminine. Footloose and fancy free is what I wish to be.

We bless this house - une belle toiture

Time to celebrate,  so please raise a toast to my new roof.

The three artisans raised a glass of Cremant de Loire at lunchtime to the little bird installed on high whilst the rain and hailstones blessed the roof.  Before the light faded from the day they had cleaned up and ended the project which started on 17 October.  It looks so pretty and time will tell how it functions.   I wish to live within the attic but it is not yet habitable and on my income is unlikely to ever be so.  The lucarne window is being made to measure and will be fitted in January.
 I am knackered especially cos I looked after the twins this morning.  They are so delightful . They each talk demandingly at the same time so it is very hard to listen to each one and give full attention without ignoring the other... they are only aged two.  I lifted sods of grass beneath the rose arch and we  planted tulip bulbs, putting them in their beds to sleep for the winter, then we made marks on paper with coloured pencils and pens whilst I showed educational posters of "The Owl and the Pussycat" and I sang the poem and other rhymes. They had drinks and biscuits whilst I made the men coffee. They wanted the Easter bunny to make chocolates in the garden. What good memories they have!!! Instead, we made little pancakes which they had for pre-lunch before mummy took them home.

I am also wondering if there is something else wrong as I am so tired and have no physical energy.  The upper arm pain of almost three months is limiting.

Anyway, the good news is that my house looks so different and I feel proud for it. Yes indeed, for it.  Worth every centime but where is my sports car, kitchen and grand piano and my round the world travel ticket?  I jest in part.... I am lucky.

FOR blessings we do appreciate order rather than chaos in life...my heart cries for those who have no roof above their heads for reasons adverse and intemperate...hopefully whatever small amount we can offer will be used to provide food, water, shelter, medical care and will be distributed ASAP to save more lives and give dignity to humanity.   Blessings are needed.

Double troubles

I think I have tried to post photos in too large a format not having learned how to edit to smaller size using iPad. I may have to investigate a friend's method for publishing photos but everything takes so long.  Evidently there is more than one method.  This is an aide-memoir of what I did.

1. go to photos on iPad which have been downloaded from camera. 

2. select with a tick then click square in bottom left which opens new window and click copy.

3. go to new post and press screen and click paste...

4. then I clicked publish so as not to lose effort.

5. then edit title and text as I am doing here.

6. click DONE and

7. click SAVE...... this last is very important or one loses a post like I did a few days ago..
8. click publish ... this is also very important or else no photo!!!
9... but  since writing this I click on the camera icon on edit post, select a photo from my iPad, copy it, position cursor where photo is to be positioned, and paste. 

ROOF and FOOT update:

My foot is still tender and being unable to wear a normal shoe I have not yet driven,  except I am being driven round the bend with roofers and home confinement. Fortunately, no one else is here to suffer my lapses!!!! 

The last tiles were laid on Friday and the hole by the chimney was left uncovered so the lovely rain that afternoon trickled down the chimney wall in the grenier and I did not know. At mid afternoon on Saturday I thought I had better check in the attic; plastic sheets and buckets came to the rescue...as did the patron of the business whom I telephoned. On Tuesday morning I heard my teacher's voice emerge to the normally very good workers to explain that it was irresponsible and lacking in thought to leave no flashing around the chimney, aka a hole!   I think they were so tired on Friday afternoon and looking forward to the long weekend when they told me all was safe as the roof was covered! It can't be an easy job. I wouldn't  like to have to work in the rain or heat of the sun. They were contrite.

The site is being cleared and cleaned. Guttering is being installed. The dormer window will have to wait

as it has to be made to measure. 

I am hoping that we can celebrate their hard work and congratulate their endurance and tolerance of the English Lady who asks a lot of questions and expects high standards. 

But I have provided coffee three times a day and they have used my kitchen every day to eat their meal. I am very impressed that they eat healthily and with variety.  If only they realised me how dangerous smoking is! 

As free as a little bird

Whilst Living in France continues I increasingly feel as if I am achieving more and more to be

 as free as a bird... 

I recognise that I am only imprisoned in my own cage when I forget how to sing and dance or when sadness creeps over me like a dark cloud. 
Yet, when the sky is blue and the sun is warm my varying persona emerge as one and then I love to fly free ... in fantasy, in reality and I become happy.
Is that poetic nonsense or an artistic creative literary style? 

I would have preferred  'l'hirondelle' but this chubby chappy is such fun ...

he will look down upon me and I will always look up to my little bird!

Flowers give hope

 

Whoopee... Look at that!!! Have managed to suss how to post photo using miniipad. 

A lovely lady to many people, gifted me yellow roses and gerbera. Cheerful colour to bring to the patient who has been more or less confined to the house.

I'm trying to learn to be less harsh to me and less harsh on others. 

One could say I have suffered from the "Poor me" syndrome. 

The last 4 weeks have been a bit of a roller-coaster ride with excitement and depression taking me up and down. Exhausted and not just physically, whilst recuperating from the operation and post op drugs, I have felt overwhelmed by the assault on my body.  Somehow the spiritual me has been under surveillance as I have had too much time to contemplate. The chaos of having my house and home attacked whilst roof timbers are nearly all replaced, worse than was estimated, has been an ordeal especially when there is no one here to share thoughts with. 

Optimism has to be the key. And Hell can become Paradise....

Update

Foot : all healed on the outside, so waiting for swelling to be normal before driving + did two very short walks along the lane. healing is due to my magic concoction of oils!
Roof : wall plate is almost built along the length of the cottage + 2 concrete steps lead through doorway between greniers but more to do in that area.... + the Genoese construction of the flat tiles for the brisis has started . Work will continue for another two weeks!
Weather : rain affects roofwork and keeps the lawn wet and growing. But no further storms since last week.
looking on the bright side of life from time to time .... But no energy or much inclination to explore how to do the myriad of things on the list I started today. Maybe making a list ir Twitter us the first stage of change afoot.... Maybe acceptance of how it is in any current moment is the key as is responsibility to do something about it.
I have too much time to ponder and think and not  enough ACTION.
Need to make some deadlines once the roof and foot look beautiful and motivate creativity once more. 
Hey ho....

Challenges!

The hard drive on my applemacbook has crashed. Tests suggest hard drive cannot be repaired...   Ooh lah lah ...  Thank goodness I have an iPad because I can't reach an Apple Genius bar until I go to Uk.
This will be an exercise in blogs and posts from the mini screen. I recently learned to transfer photos from camera onto iPad with a small device...so photos may be possible.
Thank goodness I have the iPod as the old CD player I was gifted, really to use as an amplifier for louder music from laptop, skips sections of cd tracks ... My radio, CD player, DVD player, all on the laptop was my source of media stimulus. I was just enjoying watching videos!
AND ALSO the internet phone does not always ring. Unless people use the landline I do not know if they have called.   Maybe, it's not much different from being in a nunnery. I could start playing hymns for I still have a hymn book (would prefer catholic hymns for Nostalgic reasons) ...  and burning frankincense but I have none left.
My techno world and life support system is not being helpful to the isolation I have been experiencing.

However.  Today.   A friend took me to a restaurant for lunch (le Grillon) and she brought yellow flowers and roses, DIY shopping and oatcakes from UK.  I feel normal again, human. I was really losing the plot at the weekend and had become severely depressed! I refuse to take any tablets. I slept and slept and didn't even notice the fall back of Time. The stresses of the last  4 weeks, medication and loss of regular sleep patterns as a result of all of that plus roof or no roof, wind and rain ingress has been very worrying!

The foot has made brilliant progress and the wound has closed, so I am waiting for the swelling to subside further before I can abandon the adapted walking sandal and wear a PAIR of flat shoes.. And drive my car. It will sure be a celebration day when I can wear walking boots. Oh and what joy to feel a madam and wear heels!

Carved out by hand

This is really about a hole in the wall.

In my personal life I am trying to carve out an understanding about the depths of who I am and what I represent, what my values, beliefs, strengths, essence are, not only for me and to me but also for others and to others so that I may move forward (with my new foot and feet), whatever that metaphor says!!!!!

I appear to be removing mental and emotional walls that kept me as mine own prisoner for many years. Looking back at my experiences, (written heartfelt on this blog), I've often spoken about being imprisoned and yearning to be as free as a bird. A very dear friend of mine tried to question this. She wanted to know why I felt I was being punished for this and that, and why I felt imprisoned.  I know this might sound a bit strange but I feel as if walls are coming down.  I feel as if I've broken through a chink in mine own armour and am being released from the past.  I've had some serious conversation today with a friend, whom I value enormously, and it is only now whilst I write this post for my blog about MY HOUSE, that I identify with the fact that MY HOUSE is metaphorically MY BODY and MY SOUL and all that are contained within that.

The baby that I was, the little girl who needs love to counteract parental inadequacies, (God bless them for they tried and did their best in their time), the student who studied hard to escape the exigencies of working class life, the rebellious teenager, the hippie with her long auburn brown hair sweeping down over maxi Laura Ashley styled dresses beneath which footless, fancy free and as barefoot as Sandie Shaw, she travelled deep underground from one side of London to the other, then a at the cutting edge of modern practice in the classroom (forget the theory) a teacher and a manager, a person of upper social standing in the eyes of all and sundry, the parent and the patient, the mother and a lover, a retiree which brought the child again when her adult was destroyed by external factors. Now re-discovering the confidence she once held for many years. It's different now. Mature, Grown Up. There one STORY ends. A tale begins anew.

A wall blocks out light but one can still breathe air....so what else did the wall block and keep imprisoned and what will the hole lead to? A sense of freedom of the soul and spirit,  an adventurous stage in a next stage of life.

Stones removed one by one by two young men working opposite each other in different spaces working as a team reveal a hole in the wall to become a passage between two greniers.
For MY HOUSE it opens a doorway to give change to the upper part of this house. I hope to create a habitable space there. If not, at the very least, it signifies a change in the way of life, a change of view, a new doorway to existence.  Optimism is created.

A French gentleman of standing arrives...

It was the lovely Fabien in his light-grey suit with his modern-styled grey-patterned shirt, his striped-grey scarf worn with French aplomb, his wonderful, smiling, deep brown eyes with large black curled-away-from-his-eyes eyelashes. Can you hear a heart flutter? There was no fun to be had ... the artisans and we had coffee, then to business with technical discussion of the re-construction of the lucarne. After all, he is the Architecte de Batiments de France for this region!  We wandered up the lane, at the same time that a huge pantechnicon was delivering a beautiful furnished snooker table, in one piece, using hydraulic gear! Les Parisiens! Fabien explained which of the two examples in the lane was the better one in terms of tradition for when they re-build the sides of the lucarne.  The artisans had replaced the screws with nails in the oak stringer / edge support for tiles. He told me that the artisans were doing good work and he had no complaint.

I showed him the house interior, then the roof from the rear garden, then the interior of the grenier above my large salon. He told me that the bathroom vapour extraction unit has been installed incorrectly.  So I have to get the electrician to return. Oh lah, it isn't easy to get things correct to please 'regles et norms'. But he looked admiringly at the carpentry of the three St Andrew crosses and was in approvement of the hole through the wall that is planned to connect the two attic spaces.

And so...the hat of my house.....

YESTERDAY:

 Unforeseen events continue on the first part of the roof being repaired which was the better part!!!....
1. les panne sablières are renewed either side of the lucarne.
2. le panne faitière had to be built because there wasn't one (back wall plate has had to be built up).
3. the poplar panne intermediare (purlin) was broken and has been replaced with oak!!!!!
4. les chevrons are replaced with new 63 x 75 pine and will be set at a 45 distance to take the lighter weight of ardoise roof tiles.
5. the aerial must be removed from the chimney - oooh triste pour les hirondelles qui reste là et parlent en été.  Enduit or something has to be repaired.  It is unnecessary to replace an aerial when  don't have television and anyway one is not supposed to have an aerila on dsplay if no television is declared for taxes.  If I need one in the future then probably it would be a different aerial system.
6. I gain more wood for kindling.
7. next?   ah.. more rain....but the boss is back for the 2nd time today and so I appreciate his efforts to assist in protecting the floor of the grenier above my nicely finished ceilings below. What a job!!!!!!
8. ah ... I have an idea for a house party!!!!!! 

AT THE CLOSING OF THE DAY: