Sunday 10 May 2020

Day 55: Lockdown in France - Pain but I don't mean Bread

The left wrist has decided in the last few days to be sprained again with much pain ... so restrictions abound as the thing that happens inside my wrist feels like muscles, ligaments, nerves or something are knotted and crossed over each other.  Upper arms and shoulders keep being jangly then being ok.
Good news is that the osteopath recommences with strict sanitary conditions so there is an appointment before the end of May.  I need it!

Bad news is that a close family member has been diagnosed with Poly Myalgia Rheumatica.
The symptoms and pain of which sound like that which beset me.
She too had M.E. many years ago.  I suspect this is all part of the Fibro Mylagia / Myalgic Encephamolitis umbrella,  but take not my word, for I am not a medic|!
Good news is that in UK she was seen straight away,  once she called the surgery after suffering for a while unable to stand from sitting...
Good news that once steroid medication started she is feeling better as the GP said it would be so.
Me thinks that part is not such good news.

All will be well.... it has to be!!!!!

Better news is, I was invited to informal midday Sunday aperos. like we did on Easter Sunday...bring glass, wear mask, carry attestation. I understood some conversational subjects but not the detail.  It was nice to wear a summer dress, autumn jacket, scarf worn in addition to the mask. The storm has not yet arrived nor much rain but wind there is none!

My intention was and is to provide some pics of garden, courtyard or Village.
Here is one peony plant - this year with the best blooms ever in the ten years I have lived here. I might just pick one now for the house as I wish to gain their pleasure..






Saturday 9 May 2020

Day 54: Lockdown in France - Remembrance




Lest we Forget Horrors of War
Remember the Cycle of Seasons Four 
Birth will push forth to renew Life
Memories fall away from Struggle and Strife
Poppies in a Time and Place
will nod with their bright red heads 
to Beauty and Grace









Friday 8 May 2020

Day 53: Lockdown in France - Peace

VICTORY IN EUROPE DAY 

A personal tribute:

How fortunate we all have been until this date. Let us live with hope for continuing motivation and treatment iof others to maintain PEACE between NATIONS and for the future.
Yes there have been wars and fighting since 1945.
Let us all show loving kindness.
No one has the right to abuse others. 

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52577473

The video of the signing of the Victory in Europe Treaty in this article feels poignant. 
I've never before seen any of this footage. 
I feel quite touched, with sadness at times like these, when I am not in UK to witness my country and its ancestors remember those who gave so much sacrifice. 

In less than an hour as I type this, in UK there will be a 2 minute silence. I shall join that silence in gratitude. 
Thank you to all those who eventually prevented and ended certain horrors of civilisation. 
Lives were lost. 
Peace be with us all as the world fights disease and dis-ease.

We must be vigilant in our conduct... not something i have always been aware of, brought up in a family, like many, where there were fractions after the Treaty was signed.
WITH THANKS TO WIKIPEDIA:

  •  United Kingdom: VE Day is not an annual public holiday because of the proximity of the May Day bank holiday on the first Monday in May. In 1995 and 2020 the bank holiday was moved from the preceding Monday to the 8 May to commemorate the 50th and 75th anniversaries of VE Day, respectively.
     FranceVE Day8 MayNational publicOrléans simultaneously celebrates both VE Day and the anniversary of the Siege of Orléans being lifted by French forces led by Joan of Arc during the Hundred Years War on this date.

Let us Go in Peace to love and serve the World with its glorious Beauty.

Thursday 7 May 2020

Day 50 51 52: Lockdown in France - Faulty Fridge Freezer

On Day 49, I gained the courage to call DARTY as the SAMSUNG freezer of the fridge / freezer combi was definitely not working as it should and after several days my BRAIN remembered with the noise from it that possibly there was a gas leak.  Fortunately, I had kept the 14 year BRANDT freezer for summer months so had moved food which was just not frozen sufficiently.  It was the newly purchased ice cream that told me!!!!
The masked and gloved technician came on Day 52.   Even so, I wished him to wash his hands as gloves can I THINK hold the virus on them if it is there. He was reluctant but poured liquid soap onto his surgical / diy cream coloured gloves!  He was very efficient in his work.
After his afternoon visit when he explained what would happen, DARTY called to say the fridge / freezer will be collected DAY 58, with a delivery of one to borrow for two weeks whilst they repair and test 'l'appareil'.   I will be given an extra two weeks + 6 months on the guarantee.
I am so far impressed by their Service.
The SAMSUNG  was bought late December 2018.  It was delivered and they took the DEAD BOSCH larder fridge which was 14 years old.   It had also had a gas leak. I didn't use the freezer although it worked as I continued to use the BRANDT which is quite noisy from time to time.
I emptied both by eating as much as I could , as well as had to take some with me to England on January 3rd 2019.  I went to a 21 day house and cat sit.  Then I stayed to help a member of my family but that all went wonky.   So... I started to use the electrical apparel in March 2019, which means it has only worked for less than 13 full months.   The guarantee is two years.

During these days I have been very drifty... doing things but without sufficient urgency, speed, effort, motivation and not really getting the IMPORTANT TASKS DONE despite lecturing myself.
"MUST DO BETTER". says the retired teacher!

Tuesday 5 May 2020

Day 44 to 49: Lockdown in France - Lows and Highs

In Retrospect, on account of my brain not wishing to type or edit what had been typed.
These posts are a DIARY JOURNAL so forgive me if you think it is all rather trivial.
For me, it has helped me mark the days, remember which day it is, appreciate the joys as well as the isolation, which here is not much diffrerent than it has been for me in this village, living alone, in the last ten years.

Day 44 Wednesday 29 April: Sunshine in life started to turn dismal grey with a low point and not only because of log splitting.  I haven't yet recorded the small accident that happened then, which prevented me from presenting a ZOOM accordion recital to my dear cousins on 2nd May as planned.   A week later, accordion wrist and arm technique is hard work and painful after muscles have been used. As a result of the accident shoulder, elbow and wrist joints all became winky wonky with multi laxity.  I know all is well because the pain the next day after playing disappears once the day goes on!  Just need to play more!!!!

The week passed me in some daytime sleep, which I try not to do as a norm.  BUT, I suppose the body and mind had to make up for night time sleep disturbance and anxiety that happens in those early hours.

PHYSICAL STUFF
There was quite a lot of work done in the garden on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.
Monday, the gardener stabilised the larch panelled fencing where two panels were attached to a loose post.  Last week, we cleared the ivy in the small gap between the falling apart larch fence, the wire fence and the dwarf stone wall that the NOTAIRE does not know whose responsibility it is.  A wire fence was perhaps placed to keep chickens and dogs in by my previous proprietors in about 1982. There was a lot of ivy to tear off the fence and wall in a confined space so my right hand became rather sore and bruised.

MENTAL STUFF
Confusing information about coronavirus with different approaches being adopted by different countries across the globe, as well as in Europe, in particular, Spain  Italy, Germany, France and UK, the handling of the situation has left me, and others I am certain, in a whirl of disinformation.

It feels that countries are not working together despite probably their best efforts.  Promises, lies, false hopes seem apparent.  I think that the virus needs further strict control for Lockdown in countries where the number of cases and deaths are high as in UK.  Scientists and politicians don't appear to be working together and I would say it is not the fault of the former.  UK seems to think that data and statistic charts, which I can't see, but can access later, are not, I AM CERTAIN,  telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I believe these are manipulated figures to make the Government look good.  IN MY OPINION, it's all a smokescreen.
I've become tired of my only source and access to media, when one cannot discern if this is new news or old news or a different version of the same news.
It's like an addiction to know the news and I am beginning to think I would like to know NO news!
It's difficult when I don't really anyone to discuss with. The one who I have been able to speak to from time to time just seems to vent anger and venom at the Government. Whether or not we like the Political Situation as it is I don't see how Anger serves us.  I wish to discuss not VENT!  I also dont like to get wound up by people who are.

WEATHER
The rain was welcome but oh my....   I often have to do this deed about two or three times a year!
It was warm rain so I didn't mind getting wet, then having an evening  bath ...... but I was dismal!
On Saturday DAY 47, I had to sweep it along the French gutter.  Weedkillers aren't allowed.  Some residents haven't weeded the road at the front of the house. I do. The council haven't  come to dig the weeds out with shovels. Soil being washed from higher streets, becomes mud so that water could not flow quickly enough. Rainwater from my courtyard had to battle to join the current.   I noticed that further towards the village, down the incline, along the road, the French gutter meets a brick wall of the ancient former Charcuterie.  Gushing rainwater has to bear right to find a new channel to the storm drain that is just after this property.  It was like a harass of horses as they fall at the fences!

SOCIAL
I managed to speak on the phone to friends.  This is such a comfort to hear new voices, new opinions and be updated on their family's lives.   It helps to have a feel of normalcy as I increasingly become unaware of the REALITY in UK and elsehere.

I managed to meet a friend several days after we planned to have met at a supermarket but I didnt go as I felt my wrists were too insecure to drive.  So, a few days later,  on a very very wet day we did.  She was anxious I should receive superfluous tomato plants to get them into the ground. The last was welcome as we sat more than two metres apart for two hours, having done a walk around a gardened area of a public health spa, where the grounds were becoming wild.
The fact that gardeners have not controlled Nature has been a very good thing for all birds, bees, butterflies, insects, small mammals and humans. I have learned to really love the wild woods and empty streets. I've loved my short and one hour walks without usually seeing a soul.

Saturday 2 May 2020

Day 47: Lockdown in France - What's in the Fridge?

A few days ago.  Look in the fridge. What can I eat? 

Bunch of fresh Carrots. 2 Courgettes, 1 Red Pepper, 1/4 of a Fennel bulb, part of Batavia Lettuce, huge local potatoes, red onions, shallots, garlic, faux filet, salmon, tuna, bar. 
Inspiration from the internet indicated these choices. 
1. Make a Salad
fennel bulb, carrots, zucchini, onion / parsley / garlic
Grate, Slice, Ribbon, Chop, Mix with any of these our cream,/mayonnaise/aioli/ lemon juice/ seasoning/ fennel leaves / herbs or chopped mint / spices.
Evening Meal
I served this with salmon from the freezer bought a few weeks ago when I halved all portions for economical reasons. The skin stayed stuck to the pan! The salad reinforced my 'I don't much care for ribboned raw veg'. I prefer grated or finely chopped.

2. Make Fritters
As above.  Stir in beaten eggs with a smallish spoonful of flour to bind.  Shape. Fry on both sides hoping they hold their shape. Serve warm with whatever you fancy!
I mixed yesterday's SALAD  to make Next Day Lunch and served with Batavia, aioli and French dressing, and ate the second portion!


 Later, in the garden was the first picking of radishes.






Friday 1 May 2020

Day 46: Lockdown in France - Dining IN

Posh restaurants all closed.  My celebratory meal ON MY OWN after 15 years in France.  Nothing Special. STEAK for protein as I gave up veganism years ago!

Feeling lowly low in lockdown I dug deep for motivational energy at the last moment to make an effort without changing into evening wear.  BROUILLY was my kind of wine.  Count my Blessings I do as I bought entrecôte from the butchery van on Thursday.
Not wishing to eat 6 euros of meat with a small appetite, it was halved.
Not my best culinary success.Sweet potato, roasted Med veg with the last of the lurking lettuce made a very enjoyable evening dinner chased by BROYÉ biscuit piled high with very cold slightly thawed raspberries ladled with yoghurt-not prettily presented, but yummy for my tummy, eaten without cutlery as etiquette went out the window in a lockdown.  HAHA! 
Well done me for all I have achieved in ten years with help from HIM, the absent one and others!
Well done me for perseverance in the presence of struggle, loving being on my own with sometime loneliness, craving culture and company which I sometimes get.  I am doing OK. It's a good life really.  Well done me for I am doing BRILLIANTLY despite being unable to see friends and family in another country in Lockdown / Confinement.


Thursday 30 April 2020

Day 45: Lockdown in France - Decade Anniversary of French Property Ownership

This day ten years ago I signed to buy my own FRENCH house. 
POSTING ONE is reproduced here with its old roof, lucarne, guttering and everything dirty old and brown including doors and shutters.  This photo is about 2011 after painting shutters. 

I started the blog in Autumn 2010 or later, (time passes) in retrospect.   Life has been on a roller coaster and now it is DAY 45 of Lockdown in France.


So it's 3,650 days not counting leap years, since I signed.  
HERE are two postings:


On 30th April 2010, I signed for the purchase of my very own property situated in "un plus beaux village de France".  It had been my dream for 7 years since first setting sight on this delightful village and although I had looked at many houses they were always rejected because they were not pretty enough or were without a garden or were without exterior or side windows!
I'd been RestlessinFrance for many years having sold my beautifully renovated 400 year old former English inn, and being Cancerian, needed to have property of my very own.  This is part of my "empire"and I still don't understand why I have it!  I repainted the shutters which were previously brown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Restless at the start

April 30th 2010

 Once the four brothers and I had signed our names on every page of the Acte de Vente my anxieties were replaced by others but a supportive little bird, held my hand and said "Bravo".  I was so happy,  realizing the importance of this momentous occasion of buying a house in France!  I was not to be restless!  There was to be no more house searching, no more worries about whether a choice or decision is correct, no more money sitting in the bank,  here I was with responsibility creating a whole new stress curve,  just so I could have the security of owning "bricks and mortar" to make a home of my very own. 
My purchase included: 
1. one house with a courtyard and a garden on one plot of land 
2. one garage / stable building with planning permission to convert and extend into a dwelling. 



Wednesday 29 April 2020

Day 43, 44: Lockdown on France - Weeding out depressive thoughts

Tuesday 28 March.
The Gardener arrived
I exercised my civil right to clear ivy from the dwarf wall between my property and theirs, the absent neighbour with a vacant for sale property with wild unmanaged garden.  On my side there is also an old wire fence about a 5 feet high with pointy stabby points on top!!!!  On my side of that there is also a larch panelled fence not well constructed in 2013.
We got hands, hoes and rakes into the almost impossible space to access and destroy IVY clinging to the fence.  I scraped off the MOSS and EARTH on top of the dwarf wall and it was clear it hasn't been touched in 7 years and they did not keep their side free of ivy which I had asked them to do.More importantly we cut to earth the elder growing to a metre high as well as finding a beech a little shorter. MUST keep an eye on it as if it starts to regrow, the panel will have to be removed to dig out roots.
I was so exhausted needed a nap in afternoon, got depressed and went to be early but awoke after 3 hours and stayed awake for three, before sleeping well and with no alarm awoke to an early brisk road walk to find nightingales where I stood and heard a male singing strongly.
Home to do log splitting with la fondeuse machine on Day 44, followed by weeding the courtyard, tax calculations, and updating my blog.  Had a good intelligent chat with a friend whom I haven't seen or spoken to since January 2019. A good day thank goodness. Ready for a new year perhaps as TOMORROW is a celebration day.  MY MY MY!!!!!!!!!!!
À demain!





Monday 27 April 2020

Day 41, 42: Lockdown in France - Trying not to be Restless

Sunday 26 April 2020
Arose late again.

Made myself grapple with income tax figures, converting income currency gross and net for UK tax year into French tax year and the currency rate exchange for each one, having already paid tax on my government pension in UK.   ggggggrrrrrr

Received a digital version of "MEMOIRES"  made by my eldest cousin's daughter, collecting family thoughts and photos,  collating into book format that her Mum and Dad received this last week for the year of their 80th and 85th birthdays.   I was in tears of happiness and sadness.
Beautiful memories and stories about two very constant, calm, smiling , happy,  intelligent people who always have time, hugs, excellent understanding and speaking and listening skills for everyone with a routine of refreshments of food and of soul.

A long call to thank my cousins's daughter and a surprise as I spoke to her adult daughter too, who is doing voluntary work for the crisis whist finishing her dissertation.

A 90 minute early evening road walk was very good to do as I wasn't sure I could do it.

Monday Day 42
Mowed the grass at the other land...2 hours.
I do like it down there even though overlooked by all.
Briliant timing....I was going to delay until the afternoon, as the sky was blue,  so cleared the table and tidied the 'not tidied up tools' that my former partner has left with me... all the tools, screws, nails, water pumps, plumbing and electrical and much else from his building life, ladders, two men's bikes, etc.   At least it is a better clearer muddle than it was... I have never known a messier worker even tough his workmanship was / is of a high quality.
So many times have in the past as his skivvy had to find an item he cannot find and in so doing gather things of one title together and SORT!
We took a lot of stuff to the decheterie and Emmaus in the three days he graced himself to clear his stuff.

I had asked him to tidy it up 27 months ago before and when he was in Grand Canaria and then UK in April 2019.   He now has a van in which he sleeps and is now back in UK after over wintering in Cannes instead of coming here to help me ... so I am not best pleased that he could not consider being here after unfortunately I could not slot in with him for October to December on account of I knew I needed to concentrate on vehicle purchase and did not want anyone here.
Then he refused my request for him to come in January and February instead of staying in the South of France without responsibilities to anyone other than what he did each day.

I wonder what kind of person is this , who ... short story... wanted me gone.. said he would help renovate my new purchase of property, indicated / agreed that two houses could be let at different times and we could live in which ever one was not being let for income ... and travel in between but then it all went wonky yet again... and Life Together was OFF. Maybe I just imagined it all but I don;t think I was THAT DAFT!!!!!

9.5 years ago when this blog was started in retrospect,  I wondered by June 2010 how I would manage as the guts had been torn out of the house.. it was a building site without interior toilet, no shower or bath.  By late August, there was strange communication with him wanting strange signed agreement which I never did, but he wanted to be "friends".   So, reluctantly , yet wondering if something could be retrieved between us, I let him IN again,  just to see where we would go in  our relationship as he seems to experiment with people and ideas. It was platonic after May 2010.
That is my latest analysis.
I wish it would all go away from my past but it is why I am here and is MY STORY. It defines who I am but doesn't have to!

As I mowed the lawn today I wondered what kind of man or FRIEND it is who leaves a woman of my age living separately who he knows has been ill with fibromyalgia ( much better recently )  and swans of to travel in a stealth van currently with minimalistic items and did not want anything from his past!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and so leaves it with her for her to get rid of, because I can't bear it to go straight to the skip or Emmaus.  So muggins has extra work to do!!!!!
Silly me!!!!

YET, so far,  since early March 2020, locked down in France was before lockdown in UK,  and he and the van with primitive tent - camping style amenities and a fixed bed, managed to get across the Channel in time to be somewhere in the WEST COUNTRY, free to roam, waiting to pounce on a reduced house value purchase... if he can afford it?????????

NOT what I would wish to do anywhere,  without a house and home to go to. I do noytb wish to be renting or in a care home!

I AM GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!
I MUST BE QUIET and RESTFUL -  not RestlessinFrance!









Saturday 25 April 2020

Day 35 36 37 38 39 40: Lockdown in France - Catch Up

Today 25April 2020: Day 40

Thinking I could have the energy to go shopping for sellotape, dishwasher cleaning products, and a desire for vanilla ice-cream to eat with stewed apples and pears I delayed until after 17h which pleased me,  as hardly anyone was in the supermarket.  I wanted fewer than a bagful of items.  Another reason to go out was to drive my vehicle which had not been moved in the last 18 days. Unlike last time, everyone was wearing a mask of some kind and gloves, as I was.   I was shocked to see the bank ATM filthy.   I feel inclined to comment.  I tried not to purchase too much but white asparagus and fresh carrots with their leaves were not passed by; expensive broccoli was.
I now feel less anxious.

Despite frequent daily short walks,  indoor exercise to videos,  gardening,  financial and other admin, domestics I wonder where TIME goes.   I didn't do it today, but have started to write an ACTIVITY RECORD with times of task started and finished and woops .... look how long I spent on the laptop trying to understand the news or doing Quick crosswords which I have improved at sometimes needing none or few checks and reveals or writing to friends and family.   YAY!
The recording of time passing is a technique to try and instil some self discipline with focus on the task concentration.

Yesterday required the daisies to be mowed - glad I got that done before the splendid thunderstorm in the early hours of this morning.   It was a splendid evening when I felt in love with my garden and France as I sat on bedrock facing the setting sun blaring into my eyes whilst I drank a glass of red with nightingales and blackbirds in chorus in the wilderness of shrubs in my neighbours land.  I was in Memory Lane and thinking about friends and family in positive thought.  Apart from this poarticular neighbour who fortunately lives two old properties along.   She has 'the out of sight out of concern / attitude'. Shes has lied to me nurmerous times , making promises to do the work for five years and more, teeling me she is 'responsable'.   I love the wilderness of all lands around me but she has neglected the nuisance acacia tree pushing growth from the stump which is not dead, despite my best efforts to kill it.   This is after she paid the landscape gardener to cut down the very high tree so completing in a sense her civil duty...  Friends tried to cut the main roots of the 50 cm high stump. Difficult as the soil is full of old brickworks.  Her wall has still not been rebuilt.   I shall try with legal aid once some form of normality surfaces and try to force her to take responsibility.  Pigs may fly!   I am not the only one to complain about her.
I could get the work done myself at cost. I did once get a invoice... The man would have to crane the mini digger over a wall and drive it to the next part of two other owner's lands and then take down my   / or the neighbours old crumbly wired fence to pull out the trunk and then rebuild her wall. I would spend my money on this and attempt to reclaim it from her if it ws all done in the correct CIVIL LAW order.

During the last week I listened to some counselling style world webinars.  I shall not mention their famous names but there were interesting nuggets to consider.

Wednesday, I found my mind ensconced in writing a lengthy poem about the virus which resulted from a need to write about the dreams that had happened that very morning.
My poem is called "Poetry in Time of a Lockdown" not reproduced here!

The dreams.

One was a second dream about an insect... different from the first. In the second the insect has frog feet suctioned feet... on three legs which are high than the 6 legs of the insect... so, it is like a robot and so can twist and turn and run rapidly which is what itr was doing, looking for prey. A man with a handkerchief deftly scoops it up.  Someone opens the door.  He takes it back to a very watery marsh  - its natural habitat, but like the development of water animals into humans or so some theories taught us, this insect can live on land too , if it needs to. It can mutate!

One was a second dream about an open wound which revealed flesh but was not bleeding and needed to be stitched.  The first on my stomach, was like the shape of an eye drawn closed with long eyelashes. The second on my inner thigh, was about 5cm long.   In the second dream it was super-glued together!

Some people have called or contacted me.  Some I have contacted. Some I have tried to distance from so that I don't get worked up, worry and think about other people when there is nothing I can do to help or support them. This I find frustrating. Most of my life,  I have been the one to look after others and being in isolation since before lockdown has taken its toll on me!
I am ready to listen and often too opinionated.

Nature is a boon at the moment and has been THE most wonderful Spring time I can ever remember,  or maybe it's just that I have more time and understanding to appreciate March and April.  
It was 27C during the week.


The smell of Wisteria has been exquisite.
I had never noticed this white wisteria with the red roses on a house just around the corner.  The owners have not arrived so the beauty hangs whilst the shutters on door and windows are closed. Purple wisteria are at two other houses along the road. One is unoccupied and the one with the yellow fairy roses is such a pretty sight.




Sunday 19 April 2020

Day 34: Lockdown in France - Stationary Vehicles


Renault sent a helpful guide.  I hope they don't mind me reproducing it here with change of font.

Comment préserver votre véhicule immobilisé ?

Durant cette période d’activité réduite, il est nécessaire de continuer à prendre soin de votre véhicule même immobilisé. Pour éviter toute mauvaise surprise au redémarrage, voici nos conseils :
Démarrez votre véhicule durant 10 min* une fois par semaine et vérifiez les niveaux (huile, liquide de frein et liquide de refroidissement). Reportez-vous à vos documents de bord ou sur les e-guides disponibles. 
Ventilez votre habitacle (filter) une fois par mois en allumant la climatisation pendant 5 minutes pour éviter le développement de bactéries dans votre système d’air conditionné.
Avancez et reculez votre véhicule une fois par semaine pour éviter que les pneus ne se déforment.
Pour les véhicules sans frein de parking automatique, pensez à laisser votre moteur en prise c’est-à-dire avec la première vitesse enclenchée. N’oubliez pas de vous remettre au point mort avant de redémarrer. Cela évitera que les mâchoires de freins ne se grippent et n’endommagent votre système de freinage.

Saturday 18 April 2020

Days 31,32, 33: Lockdown in France - Attempt at Daily Tasks & Routine

Thursday 16th April passed driftily - thoughtfully - but with action and probably too much in other people's business!!!!!!!! all beyond my control .... but I wish them well with their issues.

Friday - likewise, plus  I have been trying to get back into walking... I did one of my favourite river circuits. and doing walking videos with a variety of knee lifts, kicks and steps to the beat... PLUS i started some floor work and got a shock that itv was quite hard to achieve ... so.... how do I get disciplined!!!!!!!
Saturday  - getting better balanced,  not quite so lazy, not quite so 'down or low", getting a few more things in the right place...admin to do... some of which I don't understand completely or don't want to do or can't keep up with!

This morning I was feeling too righteous about and frustrated with others. I think I get too earnest and pedantic.  I think I am better off here away from it all ... but what I need to do is another matter.
I have things to do and intend to try harder!

It was nice after last night's thunderstorm, which I think skirted the village, that rain came. This morning, not only were radish, lettuce and marigold seedlings on show, but also butternut squash a plenty, and nasturtiums.  In the vegetable patch there are lots of other seedlings which I think might  be that hemp I once planted,  which just takes over as ground cover.  Time will tell.. the cotyledons are quite distinctive and a sage green not a bright green.  The daisies are appearing again.

I went shopping for vegetables and fruit.
Now it appears that French Mayors cannot instruct us to wear masks. Oh!!!!!!!!
and ... it seems M. Macron has said that over 70s don't have to stay in isolation, but there will be  restrictions to protect the vulnerable ... Oh!
Nothing I am sure is yet in tablets of stone!!!!!!
Even so I won't be travelling yet!!!!!!!   And what happens if we travel and go to someone who has a health issues and we compromise them?   I know the economy must activate but please send the younger people back to work.   I think we should have the vaccinations but when of course will they be ready!   So many other terrible diseases have need treatments and vaccinations to control the spread... HIV, EBOLA, POLIOMYELITIS, MEASLES, CHICKEN POX, INFLUENZA  etc.....   but if the Cornoavirus mutates then, how many vaccines will be required. I am not a scientist.


Something good to kook forward to today, was a Zoom family meeting instead of being at the Italian restaurant with my cousin aged 80 this year and her husband 85.    There were ten devices that tuned in.  Everyone talking at once and then some kind of settling down ... just like at a party.
I'm glad I prepped the view beforehand as a lot more of my room was on display than I thought. However, these days it IS tidy and clean with. no animals and only me.  I don't have all the tasks in piles on the dining table adjacent to the outdoor wooden table so they form a square. The latter has nowhere else to go in winter as it does not fold!    It was FANTASTIC fun to do ZOOM  and maybe we shall do it again!
Here are pics of the 'wild wood walk to the wiver'


Love this shelf on private terrain I suspect, with  river hidden down below ... one can hear it.

Purple toothwort with wild garlic






Wednesday 15 April 2020

Day 30: Lockdown In France: Not a lot to tell

15 April 2020

Nothing much to report...

Sun shine is 27C in courtyard late afternoon... wind is warm  and subsiding in strength...  A huge bumblebee got caught in kitchen  and safely dispatched. A young blackbird kept bashing its head on the glass of the atelier eventually stunning itself to the ground where I managed to escort it to the door.

FIVE things I know
1. People I know are very worked up about the UK government.
2. People I know feel that M.Macron has been more humble than Bojo.
3. 1 and 2  perhaps.  There have undoubtedly been lies, untruths, deception, massaging of egos to camouflage statistics so that Government attempts to impart a feel good factor to the nation about their decisions for trying to curb the virus.  There is Scientific criticism that UK should have done harder lockdown earlier.   It is easy to think they would like to reduce us oldies but as we now know the young are not immune.  No one is immune from tbhis virus but some are better able to tolerate it and survive than others and that has always been the case with viruses.   I am not a scientist.
4. I know that the economy is at threat, people's incomes, mental health, relationships, accommodations, debt and financial issues  etc etc etc are all threatened and at risk of collapse.
5. I know it is TIME for me to make more effort and look again into the past "MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS storage and organise it, which includes a lot of personal writings and things I suppose I do not need to carry anymore.

Tuesday 14 April 2020

Day 29: Lockdown in France - Poem from Yesterday version 2

Last evening, M. Macron decreed a further 4 weeks of Lockdown In France.

A French Village In An Age of Confinement & Lockdown

All along, 
bird song.

Wondrously full of Joy
where no one, girl or boy
could be heard, or seen.

Uncannily weird to have been
in a kind of ghost town of homes 
in streets built with stones.

It's deadly quiet, but I see no bones
amongst incessantly striving green grass growth.
Flora in Springtime makes her oath
as one of Four Seasons she shows no gloom
to let wild flowers a plenty with the lilac bloom.

Seeds, bulbs, plants, shrubs and trees bud each year.
They burst into prettiness to bring mortals hopeful cheer.

Spring comes again, Earth pushes forth,
against all Doom for the Gift of Life's Worth.

New life wins when Winter springs to Spring,
when Lady Nature gathers her gowns for her King. 
She creates beauty and bounty making humans at ease
but also makes viruses, bacteria, disease.

Man and Science fight to master untimely deaths
whilst Lady Nature continues her chaos taking life's breaths. 

copyright Restless in France

Postscript.
A morning walk:  same as yesterday for 1 hour.
More grass mowed for 90 minutes..
Windy and cold despite afternoon sunshine.  5C at 8h30 morning

Monday 13 April 2020

Day 25, 26. 27, 28 Lockdown in France - Easter Weekend

Good Friday 

Pottered about, did domestics, played accordion, sowed and watered seeds, had picnic lunch reading a book in garden sun shine, cod and vegetables evening meal, cleared weeds from roadside, dallied at computer, conversed briefly with neighbour and others by email, felt sad when the day had begun quite happily.
Baked Cod with Herb Crust and my way of cooking cabbage, fennel, carrots, onion, garlic.

Easter Saturday

In the afternoon my friend of 54 years and I did Facetime together playing two Scottish Waltzes on our accordions.  It was fun... difficult to hear her accordion at the same time as my own accordion to try and keep in time. At least we sounded in tune!  We managed and must do it again when I am sure we shall have more confidence.   It was nice to see each other with our newer accordions.
After all that excitement for 60 to 90 minutes I was exhausted with a head ache and needed the outdoors. so I sowed a few more seeds and did the daily watering of the ground.
THEN, I tried again to ignite the 3 week old prune cuttings starting with a fire-lighter and YAY... flames continued after a bit of smoke.  I loaded more on feeling good to have the garden cleanse that a bonfire gives.
We are not supposed to have bonfires in the village, but as I cannot take garden waste to the decheterie and my trailer has an electrical fault and as yet has not been used with my Kangoo.
It was a safe fire burning garden debris in a rusty oil drum.

Easter Sunday

Oh dear.  I slept until 11h30 because of disturbed sleep patterns. This is a long standing problem.
Anyway, I had eaten a boiled egg and toast when "The BELLS returned from ROME" according to Tradition - church bells pealed and caused me to reminisce and miss English Church bells and an Easter Mass - the Joy that brings.  (Later, at my evening meal I listened to Easter hymns beforehand and then THE MESSIAH.
Fearful at midday that I was mistaken, that there was a funeral, without thought, I grabbed my scarf, mask, jacket and walked to the village, in anticipation that there might be people gathered together at a distance when no one is supposed to gather together and be able to comfort me in some form. It was  an emotional reaction more than an intellectualised one!
The village was emptied of human form.  I walked past La Place but instead of proceeding past the chateau to the river, I wound back, past my Italian friend's empty house. I was wearing old wedge heeled sandals where toes must grip the soles, therefore, not conducive to slopes of village streets.

All along, bird song
wondrously full of Joy
where no one, girl or boy
could be heard, or seen.

Uncannily weird to have been
in a kind of ghost town
of homes in the streets built with stones.

It's deadly quiet, but I see no bones
amongst the incessantly striving green grass growth,
wild flowers and lilac in full bloom.
Floral Spring makes her oath
as one of the Four Seasons she shows no gloom.

She comes again and pushes forth 
against all doom
with a Gift of Worth
again her buds show Life each year 
brings us mortals hope and cheer.

Whatever human dis-ease and viruses Nature makes
New life Springs in Spring
When Madame Nature gives and takes.

(copyright Restless in France)

I was becoming more sad and wistful, urgently needing to be home but kept my slow pace.
As I walked into my own street someone called my name!
I turned to see.
Walked back.
Nicole was kind of hidden behind stationary vehicles, inviting me for 'un coup'.
I was so emotionally touched that I burst into tears and laughter at the same time...explained my sorrow and was gracefully assured that we were all feeling the same.
Chink Chink.
Bonne Paques.
Bonne Vie.
Conversation flowed but strict mothers, strict schooling, roses in bloom, weeds in the stone cobbles, and other things I did not always follow.
Three bottles of bubbly later it was two o'clock.
We parted having kept 2 m distance in a circle between each of the 7 of us!
I was grateful and loved, cared for by sweet Nicole and the others.
Touched by human kindness.

Came home for 2 hours sleep.
Lazily, I pushed myself to eat!
BUT FIRST... we must dine in a restaurant, so I made an effort and laid the table as if I was the guest, laid another place for the passer by.   I washed and changed my clothing ... not quite for going out... but it was presentable. I could enjoy THE MESSIAH and have a chat with myself. Then ... bedtime.




Easter Monday

I slept well to get up with the alarm bit in fact awake before it rang.  I readied for a walk down The American Way to the river. Rarely do I ever meet anyone but this morning had to stand aside whilst two of my Parisian near neighbours ascended the narrow path.  Later, elsewhere, a man with his dog.  A lot of trees had fallen in the storm and been thrown onto the sand spits formed in the river after the dam an the high floods we had... one could see the whole area is being logged.  Buttercups are now in bloom. Star of Bethlehem, Broom, Purple Toothwort, Wild Garlic, lots of wild flowers and grasses....and all the while the songs of birds.

In addition to that hour, I walked for two hours in the afternoon mowing the daisies in the grass. I sat for not long enough to understand a large financial matter I have hanging over my head.  I made a quiche but will eat it tomorrow.

Heard the hoopoe in the distance - hoo hoo hoo.



Thursday 9 April 2020

Day 24: Lockdown in France - Joy for Yesterday

9 April for 8 April 2020

"Vivement L'Accordéon à La Place"

"Cant wait for music in La Place with the artists..."

said the lady who passed, winding her car window open... 
the motivation for me to practise yesterday when my brain was fog dead.

``````````````````
Dinner yesterday evening was 
Salmon on a bed 
of black beans, bits of lettuce, cabbage, leek, fennel bulb 
with cherry tomatoes one shallot, sage, seasoning 
mixed with cooked old teeniest size of pasta wheels which were at least 6 years old 
(had been using in soup, but it seems to go on for ever, as I still have another jar full) 
with garden chives for decoration

Delicious with a glass of Bourgogne Chardonnay with the French evening setting sun to the West and Josiane passing by as she said Cheers and I said Bon Santé 
an exchanghe of language.

I have spoken to 4 people in the street guarding the distance and one person by phone and several by email.
I am very lucky.


Wednesday 8 April 2020

Day 23: Lockdown in France: Art In A Coronavirus Era

Wednesday 8 April 2020

I am having a drifty day when my mind and body are in almost "mindlessness" and ":couldn't care less-ness"  so I have come to the computer, having tried to start reading again.

INTERRUPTION to. my written thoughts

I am determined to tackle reading again: ORLANDO by Virginia Woolf   as I bought three of her novels in January 2019 as I have always intended "to read her" but it has been challenging. 
In the last few years reading has been difficult to concentrate on.
I was reading P.D. JAMES "Children of Men" somewhat apt now!!!!! but after getting 3/4 of the way through it I THINK I took it to the book exchange cubicle in the village as I can't find it to finish it!!!!!   Intellectually challenging which is what I do like to read!!!!! 
I am thinking that my brain is wired to internet reading and I would like to break that addiction.

Unusually, I wished to stay in bed and stay I did until the afternoon...mostly asleep in my cocoon of comfort of my beautiful bed with two duvets in a cold, dark shuttered room.  At this time of year, it is warmer outside than in, a cold temperature to reside in, not a refreshingly cool place to escape the onslaught of 40C outdoors.  So  if I go in and out I am donning extra jumper to be indoors and almost in beachware to be outdoors. Isn't that rather bizaare?

Today so far it has been 25C in my courtyard where I sat and enjoyed the late breakfast of croissant and apricot jam with a large cup of hot water and small cups of coffee with my square of dark chocolate melting stickily on my fingers n the heat.  My mind was adrift into nothingness, yet thoughts of giving myself permission to do nothing as well as thougths about how do I re-energise.

The so called buttery croissants from the supermarket in a pack of ten were bagged by me for the freezer. Even so, they don't like being frozen and have dried out. They do not last more than a few weeks if that.  So they are not a culinary delight but are cheaper than the crumbly ones sometimes over-baked ones from the local boulangerie.

ANYWAY I wish to share this:   
https://www.bbc.com/news/in-pictures-52188627
and my thoughts...
would love to know yours...
would love a cultural debate and maybe the bbc article will promote such debate.........

 I shall call it ART IN A CORONAVIRUS era...    plus it is about Nottingham where my daughter, grand daughter were supposed to have gone last weekend for a conference she had so looked forward to and that I was financing.. Disappointment all round and we don't know if it will be postponed to the next date that has been organised.

This is fascinating
a) that these items are littered in the streets...
b) the mentality of society, of people, of circumstance as to why these are littered in the streets
c) that debris from a dangerous disease causing distress and death can create creativity from creative artists
d) how technology can help create artform.
e) about how and who is clearing litter from the streets,  when governmental dictates of rules and regulations to keep people safe from this virus  have closed down departments and divisions of the ORDER of COMMUNITY
f) so that  gloves are left strewn with potential virus attached to them
g) and then the question of how these products will be destroyed to protect the planet... are they too going to be washed up in the ocean like plastic bags??????

P.S.
I am gradually thinking that I could DO something practical now that my mind has engaged with its thinking wires!!!!!!!!!
There is cleaning to do... and a mammoth list of admin, gardening, dreams and lists and plans to address, and accordion music to play, singing to practice in the absence of group meetings, and I dream of having a grand piano ... or an electric keyboard wqith piano sensation in the interim.

It's nice to write.
A bientôt.


Tuesday 7 April 2020

Day 22: Lockdown in France - Collier du Boeuf

Tuesday  7 April 2020

Sunday was Dining Alone in Lockdown... well ...
I do it every day and have done it alone for countless years.
Good tobe independent.
Saturday 4th April:  This is how I prepped  meat purchased from the village butchery van which arrives on Thursday. mornings.

BEEF CASSEROLE
PART ONE


1.200g portion collar of beef butterflied, stuffed with garlic, herbs of garden sage, garden basil, coriander, using old herbs) tied with string, seared on outside with onions. 
2. 250g beef collar in strips sautéed in olive oil high heat onions + diced turnips behind.
3. carrots, leeks, fennel bulb, moroccan lemons, tomato purée,
balsamic, olive oil, white wine, stock, Italian parsley, garlic, then the meat, cumin, ginger, 
marmalade jar scrapings instead of sugar. 




The pot at the back is circa 1970 a wedding gift and that at the front belongs to DW who bought it from the first independent second hand but not antique shop before charity charity shops were born.
in Beccles, where we used to live,
I never knew this, but both are made by Pearsons of Chesterfield est. 1810.
The second is dishwasher and microave proof... 

 PART TWO

Sunday 5th April evening at 7h30: I dined al fresco in France in my courtyard shade.. temperature 21C fallen from about 25C . Earlier, I had played my accordion in the courtyard as so cold indoors.
 The meat was very good and shredded, not keen on turnips, veg were too mushy apart from carrots.
The jacket potato variety melted in the mouth with the butter. A nice meal; worth the effort.




Tuesday 7th April ventured forth from my cocoon home to buy good bread, take prescription to pharmacy,  fish and wine from suoermarket.  I was very very lucky to find hardly any people and I managed to get the quiet slots in each shop!  I wore the mask for a prolonged period and discover I cannot breathe easily with it... too many layers of cotton perhaps?
Also: who can hear me speak?????
It was out my home zone but permissable for three categpries: food, pharmacy, exercise and mental  health.
I met a friend and we kept a big distance as we walked along the track into the woodland, sat on tree trunks and chatted.  On the way there I heard the cuckoo once and on the return journey the nightingales were singing but stopped as we approached where they were. Lots of butterflies , yellow and speckled browns, masses of bees around the yellow rapeseed.
It was a joy to be out, to have distant contact with a friend and to be able to wander in the supermarket with few people mid afternoon!
Lucky me!


Monday 6 April 2020

Day 21: Lockdown in France - The Vegetable Plot

The Vegetable Plot Revitalised
Today 06 April 2020
for YESTERDAY 05 April 2020:
John the Gardener who cannot return to work in the garden because of the Lockdown turned over one quadrant of my vegetable patch on March 16th.
Since then, Parts 2, 3 and 4 of the quadrant which I had hoped to leave grassed over are now finished.
Warm sunny weather helped me to fork dig friable soil where grass and other weed fell easily from the soil where there are not many worms after years of digging in domestic garden waste and scattering with log ash. I have no idea about Ph levels of acidity and alkaline!

I shall have to find another subject to write about!
Postscript:
Today - First rain (currently light drizzle) since 21 days or more... the ground and seeds need it.
Yesterday - In courtyard shade at 17h30  +25C - the skin and morale needs it.